


Downpour

by johnwonu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Abused child, Actor Kim Mingyu, Barista Jeon Wonwoo, Boys Kissing, Child Prodigy Kim Mingyu, Doctor svt, Existential Crisis, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hospitalization, Is this sad?, Light Angst, M/M, Sick Boy Jeon Wonwoo, Slow Burn, but nothing graphic no worries, i guess, im so intrigued you can tag whatever, is someone gonna come at me to remove these tags, maybe a little, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2020-10-19 20:24:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20663270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnwonu/pseuds/johnwonu
Summary: In which Wonwoo had saved Mingyu from drowning into the static in his ears, so Mingyu decided he was going to do the same.Or; child prodigy Kim Mingyu and sick boy Jeon Wonwoo met when they were younger and swore their friendship to one another, only to be separated. Where fate loves testing them so they meet again when they were older, only for Mingyu to find out Wonwoo had a relapse and was slowly losing the light on his path; so Mingyu is determined to show Wonwoo how brightly he can burn - maybe enough for the both of them."You remember what you told me, Wonwoo-hyung? The heavy rain will pass. It might still rain, lightly after, but it'll pass..." Mingyu slowly reached out to push a few stray strands of hair from Wonwoo's eyes. He was being gentle, as gentle as he could - as he gentle as he always is; treating the older like he was made of glass. Fragile, fragile glass. Wonwoo's heart breaks into a million pieces when he looks up into Mingyu's eyes to see the boy crying too."...and if it doesn't, dancing in the rain has always seemed like a lot of fun anyways."





	1. Will it stop now? These raindrops, these tears?

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, the tag Sick Boy Jeon Wonwoo is just too cute for me not to put up lmao.
> 
> DISCLAIMER; So if any of y'all are a fan of JDrama you could figure out that this was strongly inspired by that one episode of the Good Doctor where two boys met in a ward and became friends. One of them was like a prodigy and was contemplating getting better because he hated his life or something lol but then the other boy was like so determined to show him how much strength his songs gave the other sick kids so then they were both touched by each other's effort (one of them had to get sick first then they cry uwu uwu so touching) and become friends.
> 
> I reminded me so much of meanie's dynamic; one being so active and the other so passive lol. So of course the sick bl lover in me had to go there and picture them meeting again as adults and that maybe it would spark something a little different in them. ¬‿¬
> 
> 1) This is my first real fanfic. 2) This is a work in progress. I've got the general storyline down so I'm sanding off some harsh edges now and am working on really wrapping everything up nicely and tying it up with a big bow lol. 3) This wasn't proofread or anything so please bear with my horrendous, atrocious grammar and lack of cool dictionary-esque vocabulary. And most importantly, 4) I am no medical expert. Nothing to do with medicine, don't study it never even took biology lmao. Everything I write, I do like moderate research and I'm like ok this works I guess lol so if some of y'all are in the medicine field or like have knowledge on the topics I'm bringing up, um I apologize deeply and don't @ me XD But feel free to correct me, it'd be fun learning about it~
> 
> And if you're reading this, whoa you've come this far?? Thanks! A lot. It feels SO weird to be putting up my stuff online uwu. I'll update soon~ 
> 
> IMPORTANT; stre@m Fear MV lol

** _Dec_2003_ **

"Just hold on dear! I know you can do it!"

The woman's voice echoed the gloomy hallway. Light bounced off the reflective surface of the white walls and the white gypsum ceiling panels and they seemed so clean. So, so clean, Mingyu thinks. It was dimly lit but the hallway was illuminated enough for him to figure out where he was.

Hospital? It smelt like the sanitizer owned by that one germophobic kid who was always sitting alone when everyone else was getting ready for the concerto back in his junior years, Jihoon? Mingyu’s thoughts were all over the place. It started drifting to a memory of his mother’s excited-waving rather indiscreetly during one of his recitals and getting shushed by the people around her. Mingyu wants to laugh but his head hurts, no, his throat? It felt like someone was choking him down-

Mingyu took his eyes off the ceiling, finding the faces of the people around him, trying to make out their voices. The woman on his right was holding one of his hands, squeezing them so hard he swore he could've almost been woken up from that alone. Her hair was long and curled at the ends. Her dress was a navy-blue sleeveless dress and if there's anything else he could pinpoint was that she smelled lovely, like a hint of lavender. Mingyu loved lavender, it reminded him of his mother.

The ceiling was moving, Mingyu thinks. Or wait, maybe it was him that was moving? Maybe? Everything was so confusing. There were two other men hovering above him? Beside him? Were they pushing him? No, they were pushing his bed. His bed? Has it always been this uncomfortable lying on his bed?

He searched for the faces again. The man on his left was wearing blue and so was the one beside his mother. The left one looked like he was going to pass out – not feeling much better than him then, Mingyu thinks – his eyes were red and tired, his brows were so creased Mingyu could slot a piece of paper between them and it would probably hold its place there; Mingyu wanted to worry for him more than how he was worrying for Mingyu. The other one seemed a little calmer, his hair was blonde. He was pretty. But he couldn’t see him that well, he was too far for him to search his features, but none of them seemed familiar to Mingyu anyway. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for; or maybe who he was hoping _not_ to find.

"Mingyu?! Gyu, honey! Can you see me? Everything's going to be alright, okay?!" Mingyu heard the woman spoke again, cutting off his derailing train of thoughts. Or Mingyu guessed that's what she was saying, probably, from the way her mouth was moving. He hears her, a little... But the static in his ears were way louder, it was deafening and it reminded him of the pain currently searing through his body. The pain was sharp and it was moving around. It slithered through his veins, so he shuts his eyes and held his breath to try and make the pain go away. He's used to this, he thinks, it's what he always does when he feels such pain anyway.

"Kim Mingyu, 8 years-old. He suddenly collapsed during his recital and complained of pain in his throat. He's having trouble breathing and he's in a confusional state. Dr Hong's the only pediatrician on duty tonight and he’s in an emergency op!" the tired man on Mingyu’s left spurred, voice sounding out of breath as another stray pair of hands came along, holding his body down and preventing him from squirming around.

"Well why aren't you paging him already?" the man's hands began roaming around Mingyu's chest area feeling around, searching for something and when his fingers as slightly as grazed his throat Mingyu's eyes shot open. The pain multiplied by a tenfold when the man began inspecting his neck. He mustered all the strength he had left in an attempt to pull away from the grip of the men around him. Squirming and resisting... but they were so much stronger than him. It had hurt... Everything hurt.

His vision blurred from the tears pooling in his eyes. He tried blinking them away but it wouldn’t go away. The tears begun to sting and it was starting to hurt to keep his eyes open... but he needed to see. He needed to see where he was going, where he was taken to – so he could escape. That was always what he would do.

"Mrs Kim, I need you to call out to him" the man with his hand on Mingyu’s throat said, voice still somewhat sounding calm.

"Honey! It's your mother! Keep your eyes on me, please!"

Mother? Mingyu couldn't believe it... His mother?

"He's not here! Don't worry! He can't hurt you! Stay with me!" the woman’s – his mother’s? – voice sounded as if she was on the verge of a very loud wail of a cry.

Why would his mother be here? The warm hands almost crushing the bones in his right hand is his mother's? But his mother had left him 6 months ago to his father. His father... was he here too? Oh no, Mingyu thinks. He shuts his eyes again, tighter and bites his lips as hard as he could until he tastes the blood. He squirms and tries to fight off the hands holding him down again. He needs to move... he needed to hide.

"Stay with us dear! You'll be okay!" Mingyu's mother managed to say with a croak in her voice.

"Nurse Han, sedative?"

"Right here, Kwannie" another man with very light brown hair caught up and scurried along with them.

"Thank you, and don’t call me that."

"I’ve contacted the technician for a CT scan as well, Kwannie"

"Overachieving as always, Nurse Han"

"Has Dr. Hong responded?" the man that had his hands on Mingyu's neck finally pulled his hands away for what had felt like forever. Mingyu felt a little relieved but it was still so hard to breathe. The man returned his hands to the pockets of his white coat, taking out his phone. "It's inflamed. He's going to suffocate if we wait any longer. Minghao-sshi, I need you to prep the OR immediately and brief Dr Hong of the situation while I run his scans and biopsy. Hansol-sshi, bring the guardian to the consultation room. I'll run by in a bit after I get his scans"

"Yes doc!" "Understood, Dr Boo!"

Two of the men wearing blue beside Mingyu then moved away in opposite directions, one of them, the blonde one brought along his mother. Leaving only the supposed Dr. Boo and Nurse Han, both still holding down Mingyu’s arms while pushing the stretcher.

"Kim Mingyu. You're a strong boy. I need you to concentrate on my voice," Dr. Boo still has his grip on Mingyu's hands, not letting Mingyu grab his own throat, worried the boy might claw at himself again. "I know it's hard to breathe but you need to hold on just a little bit longer, okay little one? I'm going to help you feel better. I need you to calm down--"

That was the last thing he remembered before his vision completely blackened and his body numbed. He also vaguely remembered a sort of pinch on his left arm, which kind of stung – although nothing compared to the pain he felt in the back of his throat – but the feeling after, was like being engulfed in a sort of shivering coldness. Like when your leg has been dangling out of the covers during cold winter mornings; the rest of your body was supposed to be wrapped in warmth yet you're still awaken because the cold had managed to seep through your body, making you shiver from the inside.


	2. When this rain falls on my head I’ll get all wet, even my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> I mean did y'all watch Fear MV? Hoooooleeeyyy shirt boi. Jeonghan? Yoon efin Jeonghan slapping you during that verse? Oof-
> 
> I'm telling you, Fear isn't giving me 'i'm sexy' vibes at all, in fact it screams 'I AM VAMPIRE LORD, SERVE ME PEASANT' vibes. Tell me I am wrong, lol 
> 
> I kid you not I got nervous watching that MV, it felt like I was waiting for them to come out of the screen and make me call them daddy or lord coups or something (which i am not implying that i would mind to do anyway)
> 
> Actual notes; Okay so here's a chapter. Enjoy :)

** _Dec_2003_ **

"We'll need to monitor his recovery and do a couple more test to be sure whether it is malignant or not so he'll be staying a little longer than what I'd previously mentioned--" a male's voice began echoing in his head. But Mingyu was still out of it. He couldn't catch much as the static ringing in his ears began again. He tried his best to focus on what the voice was saying.

"marks-- scars on his bodies. We won't be taking this matter into an authoritative level but we'll also be taking that point into consideration for--" the same voice was heard but he only caught some words as the rest continued to be drowned in static.

"Understood doctor. Thank you very much for everything, Dr Hong."

This time it was a female's voice and it sounded really familiar. And there's that hint of lavender lingering in the air again. The scent that reminds him of home. It's Mom, Mingyu thinks.

"He'll probably wake up within the next day and he'll need you to be there for him from now on, Mrs. Kim. Be strong for his sake" the man, Dr Hong said. Mingyu could hear footsteps fading into the background. Has the man left?

It was quiet for a while before Mingyu heard sniffles. Sobs and sighs here and there. Mingyu doesn't know his heart breaks just by listening to his mother cry. He wants to open his eyes but they feel like they're glued shut. He wants to hold his mother's hands and give her a hug and just tell her it isn't her fault, but his limbs won't listen to him and move either. Mingyu tries but eventually he runs out of strength and gave up, letting himself fall into slumber again. He thinks of himself as hopeless.

Mingyu ended up spending more than just a couple of days in the hospital. As far as he knows he's been there for almost a week and that was not accounting for the days that he was blacked out.

Mingyu woke up a few hours ago when the sun decided to say hello and smack him in the face. The curtains were wide open and he thinks his mother probably forgot to close it up yesterday, again. Mingyu’s mother was very cheerful and she was also very clumsy.

He’s sitting up now after he’s finally decided it’s time for him to wash up. He’d spent the last hour basking in nothingness. He’d never had so much free time in his life before that it had felt so good doing nothing for once.

"Honey, how are you feeling today?" his mother was peeking her head into the room with a playful smile on her face, raising her brows animatedly.

But she’s also very funny, Mingyu thinks. He smiled a little as he opened his arms wide. He didn't have to say anything before his mother was already halfway to his bed. She’d carefully dropped the bags in the chair beside the bed before wrapping her arms around the small boy. His mom has always given the best hugs.

"I'm taking that cute little gesture as a 'I'm doing fine mom, no worries' sign, correct?" his mother gave that same playful smirk again as she moved away from Mingyu a little to look at his face.

Mingyu gave her the biggest smile he could muster, which probably wasn’t that much but his mother understood anyway. So she gave him a peck on the nose before moving away to grab the paper bag she’d brought along.

"Okay cutie. I brought you some pie!" his mother continued happily while rummaging through the huge bag. "Your favorite of my creations. Blackberry!"

She held the container in her hand and turned to Mingyu with a huge smile, showing off the container to the boy. She placed the container on the small over bed table and continued rummaging the bag for the forks she had brought before she realized Mingyu wasn't giving her any reaction.

"Ah!" his mom suddenly gasped. Mingyu was simply looking at his mother with a face that was ready to facepalm at any moment. "No solids! .... I forgot.... again......"

And so Mingyu did facepalm. But he hid a silent chuckle behind it.

His mother was so clumsy it was adorable - even to the 8-year-old. Mingyu was still on his diet restriction because his throat was still in not the best condition from the surgery and they needed to ensure he was prepped in case there was a need for a second surgery within the next few days. This was explained to both Mingyu and his mother three days ago but she kept forgetting. She’d bring in funky snacks she recognized as Mingyu’s favorites and drop a dramatic scene each time she remembers he’s not allowed to eat them.

His mother let out a loud overexaggerated sigh of disappointment before dropping both of her arms to her sides. "I'll just give this to the kids and nurses down at the ward then... again."

Mingyu just looked at his mother. She returned the look with a raised eyebrow for a few seconds before attacking the boy, pinching his arm and playfully tickling the boy, "Do you think Mommy's that silly? Huh?"

Mingyu laughed along with his mother but it was as if only his voice was on mute.

The whole thing that happened with his throat made him lose his voice. The doctor had mentioned his vocal cords were not damaged, they’d tell him it would probably go back to normal once he feels comfortable in his own skin again. Sometimes surgery does that apparently.

Whatever that is, one of the doctors had explained to him so vaguely he couldn’t understand anyway. But he had heard the word PTSD thrown into a lot of the sentences the doctor had spoken with his mother though. Mingyu decides to not care too much.

It was Dr Xu he thinks. The young one. Not Dr Hong. Mingyu thinks Dr Xu sounds a little more inexperienced and by-the-book, but one thing he knew for sure was that Dr Xu was there when they had brought him in, he remembers his voice, and so was Nurse Han.

Nurse Han is also in charge of Mingyu. He had been nice. He didn’t try too hard to make conversation whenever he dropped by to check on him. But Mingyu thinks he’s just being considerate because he knows more or less of whatever Mingyu’s going through. He’d seen the bruises and scars he has on his body. When their eyes accidentally meet, - despite Mingyu’s aggressive attempt to ensure it never happen – he’d give Mingyu a little assuring smile and doesn’t say anything else so Mingyu thinks Nurse Han isn’t too bad.

His attending physician wasn’t Dr Xu though, it was Dr Hong. Mingyu doesn’t know much about Dr Hong because he rarely sees him, although he did pay him a visit for an update on his diet instruction the other day, and also when he woke up after the surgery, he was there too – Mingyu remembers even though he was still drowsy at the time.

Dr Hong seemed young too but he’d appear more put together and busy. Very busy. He’d heard one of the nurses talking about how the hospital is running short of staff and the pediatrician ward was the ones receiving the massive blow. He guesses that’s why he doesn’t see his attending doctor as often. But Dr Xu takes care of him in his place and Dr Xu is nice too, just a little out of place here and there, but nice.

His mother was quiet for a little while. She was probably a little sad Mingyu lost his voice, but Mingyu didn’t mind that his voice wasn’t there anymore. He was sort of glad he lost his voice. Now his father won't come for him for it anymore.

His mother seemed to finally snap out of her thoughts as she ruffled Mingyu’s hair and let him go. "Okay I'll go ahead and give this to the other kids then. Your loss~" Mingyu's mother playfully pinched Mingyu's nose before picking up the container and returning it into the paper bag.

Just then a knock on the door was heard and a male in a white doctor gown opened the door slightly. Mingyu could see several smaller heads sticking out by the side of the door. Kids, around his age, some younger. Two of them were even holding on to the doctor's legs.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, Mrs Kim, I don’t know if I have officially introduced myself but my name is Xu Minghao. I'm a 1st year resident here and I’m Kim Mingyu’s second attending physician. I’m here to check up on him... informally" the doctor spoke softly while bowing to Mingyu's mother.

Mingyu's mother gave the doctor a smile and nodded. But her attention quickly turned to the little ones crowding around Dr Xu instead, "Of course doctor. Wonderful to meet you, and I see you've brought some friends for Mingyu."

She walked over and opened the door for them. As soon as the door was slightly slid open, about ten children flooded into the room and excitedly went towards Mingyu's bed. Mingyu was beyond surprised, he was speechless and it wasn’t in the good way.

Dr Xu tried his best to calm the squealing kids and repeatedly bowed to Mingyu's mother, "I'm incredibly sorry. They are such huge fans. We listen to his songs every week in this ward so when they heard he was here they really wanted to meet him-"

Dr Xu’s conversation with his mother disappeared into the background as the crowd of kids around him began talking to him excitedly all at once. Mingyu froze and shrunk in his seat.

"I'm Seok! I'm Seok!!" one of the boys started jumping up and down beside his bed.

"Kim Mingyu! Are you our friend now? Yay!!"

"Not yet Junhui! We need him to shake our hands first only then are we friends!" this time it was a smaller boy, probably around 4 or 5.

"Oh okay! Shake my hand Kim Mingyu!!" the boy, Junhui started trying to climb onto the bed while sticking his hand out for Mingyu to take.

"Shut up Chan you're so childish! You are embarrassing us in front of Mingyu!" another girl around Mingyu's age tried to pull Junhui down from trying to climb onto the bed.

Mingyu turned his body away from Junhui who was trying to climb onto the bed only to be met with a pair of eyes. The boy hadn’t spoke yet but he was grinning widely at Mingyu.

"You're Kim Mingyu! My name's Jeon Wonwoo! They told me I'm older than you so you can call me hyung!" the older boy began to speak while pointing his index finger towards Mingyu, proudly declaring his seniority over the boy who further shrinking into the bed.

Mingyu wanted to raise an eyebrow but his mouth just dropped open at the overwhelming amount of excitedly jumping children surrounding him.

"Kim Mingyu I have all your CDs! We saw you on TV yesterday!" the boy spoke again, Jeon Wonwoo. "Kim Mingyu we're putting on a show during Christmas! Since you're here why don't you sing too! You’re such a great singer!"

"Yes! Kim Mingyu!" "Why don't you?!"

"He looks better in real life!" "His hair is funny!"

Mingyu was shivering. He felt sick. The static was beginning to sound again. His head was starting to hurt. The kids weren’t only noisy they were so active, jumping and pushing each other trying to get closer to Mingyu; and they keep talking about it... his voice. His voice is so good. His voice is nice. They could use a voice like his in their performance.

His voice.

Why must they remind him of his cursed voice?! Why are they so demanding of him? Why do they expect so much of him--

Mingyu covered his ears and eyes trying to drown their noises out. The static was growing louder in his ears and his head feels like it was going to explode.

Junhui had managed to climb onto the bed after successfully wriggling himself out of the other girl’s grip and he had managed to grab a hold at Mingyu's arms, “Kim Mingyu! Let’s be friends!”

Mingyu didn’t register much of what he did next. He thought he’d screamed while pushing the boy off the bed.

It turned out to be mute of course. But the effect was there nevertheless. The kids around him was startled and was a little stunned by the image of Junhui flopping down to the floor on his butt, pushed by none other than their idol Kim Mingyu.

"Oh Mingyu, honey" his mother gasped, shocked. Turning away from her conversation with the young resident.

Dr Xu was also startled by the loud thud of Junhui falling off the bed and was starting to feel guilty because it was his decision to bring the kids along into the room. He should've known Mingyu was not in a state to be surrounded by a bunch of loud over-excited children.

"Jun! Are you okay?" Jeon Wonwoo walked to the boy on the floor and helped him up. Junhui seemed fine. He was still smiling and patting his butt at Wonwoo even after being pushed off the bed so harshly.

Mingyu felt a little guilty. He put his head down and blamed himself for acting so rashly. It wasn’t like he wanted to be mean to the other kids, but he couldn’t help it, and they kept talking about his voice. Was his voice the only thing they cared about when they look at him?

Everything was quiet for a few seconds and Mingyu felt more nauseous as the static began again in his ears with the guilt starting to build up in the pit of his stomach and his irk towards his own voice filled his mind. But before he could fully drown in it again--

Smack!

Everyone was surprised by the noise and turned their heads to Junhui and Jeon Wonwoo.

Wonwoo had smacked Junhui in the back of his head.

"Why'd you go onto the bed you idiot? Of course he would push you off. Who'd want a creep trying to hug you all of a sudden-"

The other kids started laughing at Wonwoo playfully scolding Junhui who was also laughing while rubbing the back of his head. Wonwoo even forced Junhui to bow towards Mingyu using his own hands, “Say you’re sorry and you won’t do it again”

Junhui just followed along between his laughter. That eased the tension a little but Mingyu didn't miss the small curious glance from Wonwoo when he had his head up for a second. Mingyu felt a little intimidated by those eyes, he didn’t understand yet but he felt like it was no good to keep looking into them so he averted his gaze to the sheets on his bed.

His mother snapped her fingers and yelped, "That’s right I almost forgot! Okay! Who wants pie?!" realizing she was still holding on to the paper bag filled with her self-acclaimed ‘infamous blackberry pie’.

Mingyu suddenly felt thankful that his clumsy mommy decided to bring a pie to a ward full of sweets deprived children. The kids started jumping excitedly again while crowding around her as she led them out the door alongside a still apologetic Dr Xu who kept bowing his head to her repeatedly, apologizing for bringing a mob into his ward in the first place.

Wonwoo followed last behind all of them and before he’d closed the door to Mingyu’s room, he gave Mingyu a last look.

Mingyu could feel the pair of eyes on him so he slowly turned to face Wonwoo. Their eyes lock and Mingyu was terrified. What is that look in his eyes? Was Wonwoo going to declare war on him for pushing his friend or something? Was he in for a fight against the whole ward now? From the way they interacted it was somewhat visible to Mingyu that Jeon Wonwoo was the alpha of this territory somehow.

A 9-year-old alpha of a territory of warded sick children... was that supposed to sound as scary as it did to Mingyu. Maybe not but it was. Mingyu was a scaredy-cat anyway.

Mingyu was slowly picturing himself pulverizing away under Wonwoo's stare before Wonwoo's nonchalant look morphed into a soft smile.

Mingyu blinked and it was still there.

He could almost see a sort of endearment in the gaze Wonwoo was giving him. It wasn't sarcastic, it seemed sincere.

What?

Mingyu was confused. He wasn’t having any more of it so he was going to turn away when all of a sudden, Wonwoo's smile turned into a small chuckle instead, "You're like a puppy Kim Mingyu. You’re not a scaredy-cat. You're a scaredy-puppy!"

Did Jeon Wonwoo just... read his mind?

Or was it that obvious how terrified he was? Maybe the latter.

"See you!" Wonwoo stuck a tongue out to Mingyu before closing the door shut.

Mingyu let out the breath he didn't know he was holding the moment he sees the door shut and he could hear Wonwoo's slippers make a pit-a-pat sound as he runs off to join the rest.

Mingyu needed to get better soon and get out of there. Risking to meet Jeon Wonwoo again was not a game he'd like to play. That boy was weird. He was suspicious. It was as if Jeon Wonwoo could read him, like a book and Mingyu was definitely not having any of that.

××××

"Kim Mingyu do you have some tricks you can show me? I have a solo part! But everyone keeps saying I sound off-tune--"

Mingyu's plans of never meeting Jeon Wonwoo again backfired, real fast. Just the next day Jeon Wonwoo had decided to make Mingyu's room his private lounge. And not just the next day, Jeon Wonwoo have been casually waltzing into his room - like he belonged there - for the past week. Even making conversation with Mingyu's mom and becoming her friend? Best friend? They even have a best friend handshake now?

Mingyu was reminded of how his mother and Jeon Wonwoo walked into his room side by side one day, both having a smug look on their face as they began their handshake – clapping and high fiving – and then both turning to Mingyu with another smug look, only to be shocked to see Mingyu wasn’t even looking. He had turn back to his workbook halfway through their charades.

Mingyu's mother brought up the idea of best friend handshakes to make Mingyu jealous of their 'friendship' so Mingyu could at least lean into Wonwoo's effort of trying to befriend him. Mingyu could see through his mother, or rather she’d said it all in front of Mingyu. Mingyu may have turned mute but he wasn’t deaf.

Wonwoo didn’t mind, playing into her silly gesture willingly. He doesn’t understand what goes on in that head of Wonwoo’s and why he would go along with her, which then Wonwoo would look at Mingyu and say that he didn’t mind and that he liked Mingyu's mother; that she was funny and friendly.

Mingyu’s starting to think Wonwoo can really read his mind. Or not? No way. Right?

So Mingyu just rolled his eyes and turned back to his workbook.

But within the week the older had been around in him, before he even realized it himself, he had started allowing Wonwoo to invade his bubble. Sitting next to Wonwoo, finishing his workbook next to Wonwoo who's coloring in his own sketchbook, sharing his favorite banana milk and strawberry yogurt – that his mom snuck in - with Wonwoo, and even letting Wonwoo play with his hair which he would never allow, if he was awake.

Mingyu could've stopped Wonwoo from tugging and just tangling his fingers into his hair but he assumed the boy was probably just intrigued and it would be kind of mean to stop him. Mingyu's hair was long now. It has reached his shoulders. It's only been about a month since his last haircut but his hair had always grown fast.

Wonwoo probably can't grow out his own hair, Mingyu thinks. He had always worn a beanie. A dark red colored beanie, and Mingyu thinks it's because he has no hair. He'd seen some of the kids wear beanies and they had no hair. His mother had told him it was because of their medicine.

So if Mingyu pretending he was still asleep while Wonwoo tugged on his hair wasn’t enough for his mother to take him as ‘leaning into Wonwoo's effort’ already, he didn't know what else he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they've met yay but they're still kids. I'm sorry I can't make them grow up yet. I think I need to develop them a little more but i promise i'll make them devastatingly cute with each other when they grow up I prooomise lol. Tell me your thoughts :D


	3. Stay with me, I still can’t be In the rain alone without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
It's been a while and I've been very busy but here's one. This story is like my child so I'm really going over it a few times to make sure it's like maybe decent enough to post. I really have most of the story written but the links and buildups for each chapter is still not there so writing and adding 'flair' to the plot is taking up so much time ugh. Which is why I guess this story might take loooong to finish but I'm curious to see when I'll be able to wrap this up. I really do want to finish it because I've had a track record of leaving stories unfinished :( Wish me luck and enjoy <3
> 
> This short chapter will be about them 'currently' I guess. I'll be alternating between the timelines so that it doesn't get too boring I guess. Sooo, this is unbeta-ed sooo @ me for mistakes lol.

** _Sept_2019_ **

“Hey Jihoon-hyung, does this shirt make me look short?” Mingyu asked while trying out a couple of poses in front of the mirror.

Jihoon didn’t even need to turn to look at Mingyu to know that the shirt – as a matter of, very much in fact – _did_ _not_ make him look short. The guy was six-foot tall, for heaven’s sake. He was a lamp post. And even if it _did_ make him look shorter, what would it reduce him to? Normal human size?

“Do you actually want to die?” Jihoon exhaled as he rolled his eyes, continuing to organize the papers scattered on his desk by the window into his clear file-case.

When he realized Mingyu wasn’t giving any of his usual sarcastic replies, Jihoon had actually thought Mingyu may have been serious. The kid can be mischievous when he wants to but he can be rather naïve when he’s not busy making the elder’s life miserable.

So Jihoon turned around to look at Mingyu’s reflection in the mirror. The black and white striped satin button up hung loosely on his broad shoulders, the ends falling just on his mid thighs. Jihoon thinks if he’d worn that shirt it would’ve reached below his knees. He sighs and looks up to see Mingyu’s face.

Mingyu was sporting his daily look, the resting-pout-face. He was eyeing himself in the mirror when his lips jutted out further, intensifying the pout he had earlier.

Jihoon notices Mingyu had lost weight again. Maybe due to his latest workout regime. He’s been trying to pump a little more muscle into his already fit body for an upcoming role, which could possibly be his biggest one so far. It was about time for him to reel up a role this big, he’s been infamous amongst producers for his talent of finishing up shoots in just one-take.

Mingyu brushes his bangs off his forehead.

His hair was a light brown – dyed specifically for the photoshoot happening today – almost looking golden whenever a sheen of light reflects off them. His skin a couple of tones darker than the normal ‘pale-fair’ beauty standards that was _in-trend_ but nevertheless, he works it. He makes it his _thing_ and the industry drools over him, so Jihoon carrying the manager role is more than glad that the one possible _flaw_ – although it’s ridiculous to even be considered a _flaw_ in the first place, but the expectations of the Korean beauty scene has been outright ridiculous for as long as he remembers anyway – does not kill Kim Mingyu’s confidence and actually becomes one of his strongest selling point. But overall, as a longtime friend, the older is _more_ glad that Mingyu is unbothered by the comments on his skin tone and is _more_ than comfortable living in his own skin.

“Were you actually serious?” Jihoon sounded a little apologetic.

Mingyu stopped eyeing himself and shifted his eyes to look at Jihoon through the reflection in the mirror. His pout then immediately turning into a sly smile. Mingyu let out an airy chuckle-

Okay, maybe Kim Mingyu’s got another flaw, and that is; _being an absolute ass._

“Okay you drive yourself.”

“Hyung! Wait! Woozi-hyung! I’m sorry--” Mingyu turned around to try and catch his hyung but the older had sped out the door in a second, leaving Mingyu to scramble around searching for and grabbing his things. He hadn’t even put on his shoes yet! “Hyung!”

Mingyu managed to put his shoes on with record time before finally running out the door. He jogged out of the elevator and out their shared apartment lobby only to find his car still there, in his parking spot... and the car key left on the hood of the car.

“Is he for real?” Mingyu sighed.

Just then he heard his phone notification go off so he grabbed the key and scurried into the driver seat. He dug his phone out of his back pocket before hitting the ignition button. The text was from Jihoon.

** **

** _Wooz_ **

_Yes, I wasn’t kidding. Diamond Hotel, 16-09-19 Street. 8am._

** _Minguy_ **

_Tis int funy hyng >:(_

** _Wooz_ **

_Well we both know I’m not the one who cracks jokes in this relationship anyway_.

** _Minguy_ **

_I rly dint mean 2 hurt u hyun :( GomenasAiE !!_

** _Wooz_ **

_Can you like, type like a normal human being?_

_And I need to run by the agency first anyway, so you were going to have to drive yourself either way. Mr Lee just picked me up._

_I was going to tell you but you had to be an ass this early in the morning._

_When you get there, you’ll know what to do, I’ll ask the Mr Lee to drop me off there later so I can drive us home._

_So just hang in there for a couple of hours and don’t burn any building down or something._

Mingyu smiled upon reading the long stream of text. He knew Jihoon wasn’t _that_ sensitive after all, rather his manager was a feisty character. But still, tormenting the elder is a must on his daily agenda so Mingyu decided to fulfil his _schedule_ like the good boy he is. He smirks before he fixes his navigation and drives off but not before replying to his favorite manager.

** _Minguy_ **

_Uwu so u arnt mad huyng :D_

** _Wooz_ **

_No. Don’t be late._

** _Minguy_ **

_Oki u 2 hiyng i cnt b seen drivig me i hav imaj 2 uphld i ned my uji drver hyuyung :D_

** _Wooz_ **

_Die_

** _Minguy_ **

_Hyugnnnnn ;(_

** _Wooz_ **

_You’re totally doing this on purpose, aren’t you?_

** _Minguy_ **

_:D_

Mingyu chuckles to himself. His Jihoon-hyung was always so fun to pester. He knows he shouldn’t be driving and texting but this was too good to not continue. There are days where Jihoon decides to just ignore his invitation to banter but apparently today was not one of those days so he isn’t letting this go without putting up a contender against Jihoon’s rage.

There aren’t much people that could put up with Kim Mingyu’s personality. The whole package that is, his narcissistic side, the talkative/rambling side and even the clingy adoring side of him. So he keeps the ones that can closest to him, afraid to let them go before he could fully appreciate them. Because only God knows he has let it happen before.

He was about to type up another reply with his left hand before he realizes the light had turned red.

“Oh shit!!” he shrieks as he hits the brakes.

But he was going a little too fast and he couldn’t stop his vehicle fast enough. He sees a pedestrian moving out in front of him, finally clear of the blind spot by the car that has already halted on the next lane. And so he steers himself to the right to avoid the man as much as he could but it was a little too late.

The man jumps upon hearing the screech of Mingyu’s tires and at the sight of his matte-black Range Rover looming in closer to strike him, the man’s scream is heard even from within the car as he falls back. Mingyu echoes the scream and braces himself for impact.

But it didn’t come.

Or maybe his car’s impact cushion is too good that he doesn’t feel it when he hits someone. _Gosh._

Mingyu realizes he has finally stopped moving and he brings his head up from the wheel to find the man but he wasn’t in the view so Mingyu shifts to park and basically teleports outside his vehicle.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” he chants as he walks out front his car to look for the man he just hit.

The man was not in front of his car but he was on his back, on the next lane.

“Oh my god! Are you dead?” Mingyu runs up to kneel by the man’s side before letting his hands awkwardly hover around the man, contemplating whether he should help the man move or not, “Please be _not_ dead!”

The man’s brows furrow and he flinch as he moves to sit up. His lips tremble a little as he bites his bottom lip as if something is hurting him, “I’m okay, I think I just- my arm kind of hurt-AAHH!”

“AAAHHH!!” Mingyu turns to look at his arm too to see a tear at the sleeve at the man’s flannel and a large scrape running at the side of his elbow all the way down to his wrist.

“It’s bleedingAAAHH!”

“AAHHHH!!” Mingyu replies as his hands clamps at the man’s shoulder.

And, the man passes out.

“He’s out, he’s out! AAAHHH” Mingyu panics again.

At this point, people have started to dismount their vehicles and others on the side of the road were starting to gather. Mingyu had only now realize he is in his full ready-for-work outfit so even without any makeup on, anyone who gets a real look at him might realize who he is. He curses himself for being a klutz and not wearing sunglasses or masks or any other disguising article of clothing.

It’s not like he _wants_ to be noticed but people just do. He has a natural aura that magnetizes and draw in people around him so even if he does put on a cover, everyone will look at least twice at the mannequin-like silhouette strutting daily wear as if they were on a catwalk. That goes great for Mingyu’s image and his overall fame, but that statuesque flawless image might fly out the window if he’s caught for murder.

This isn’t good for him. _Jihoon will kill him._

Yes. His main concern is not his image but what Jihoon will do to him if he blows his whole career that the elder has helped build throughout the years.

The panicking actor tries to bring the collar of his shirt higher to try and cover his face a little as he turns to worry about the unconscious brunette in front of him. Mingyu reaches out and searches for the man’s wallet in the backpack thrown a little to his right, picked the guy up like he was a doll – thank the lord he has been working out – and hauled him into the front seat of his car. He runs around to the other side and jumps into the driver seat. He flips the man’s wallet upside down to look for an ID or something when he took out a university ID pass.

The picture on the ID is probably an old picture. The man passed out in his seat looks a little more matured than in the picture. He’d grown out of the baby fat on his cheeks and his overall features were a little more defined. He wasn’t wearing glasses too.

He scans down to the name.

“Lee Seokmin!”

He turns to the man once more for some reason – maybe to be sure if the man was still breathing – before hitting the gas as soon as the light turned green. “Okay Lee Seokmin, you are NOT dying in my front seat!”

He punched in the navigation as he sped off to the nearest hospital designated by his GPS.

Lee Seokmin was going to be fine, said the nurse as Mingyu basically whizzed through the emergency hallway carrying the grown man bridal style in his arms screaming for help.

The nurse looked at him weirdly – he wondered why – but brought along a stretcher anyway as she inspected his arm before telling Mingyu to calm down and have a seat while they bring Lee Seokmin in.

Roughly twenty minutes later the nurse was back out, telling him Lee Seokmin has been moved to a normal ward while they’re pending to process his scans for any sign of trauma so he can wait out in the outpatient wards instead. And so now he’s sitting on one of those metal benches right outside the ward Lee Seokmin was supposedly in, he hasn’t dared to go in to check yet. He’s going to wait for Jihoon.

The thoughts in his head swam around how the name Lee Seokmin sounds so nostalgic somehow, and majorly on how he should relay this problem to Jihoon. But he’s dead meat anyway so he spared himself another moment of dreadful hesitance and just screamed into the receiver when he dialed the elder. He swore he was speaking hogwash but Jihoon understood anyway and told him to stay put while he gets himself there. Mingyu swears he hears the elder curse before hanging up, “I fucking leave him for 5 minutes and he runs a person over, can you believe it?!”

Mingyu has his face in his hands as his feet taps nervously. He finally jumps off the seat and begins pacing around the hallway. There were a few other people in the hallway and they looked at him funny. Maybe because this was an outpatient ward and he was looking like he was waiting for someone to come out of a life-threatening surgery.

But Mingyu disregarded them and walked round to the back to read over the posters on the wall again. He’d read them when he arrived in the hallway a few minutes ago but there he was again.

The posters were in green and pink, writing about knowing your healthy diet plans and how important it is to avoid those weight-losing products. Mingyu thinks back to _his_ diet plans and shrugs the concern off because he has an actual certified trainer helping him. Another poster talked about the dangers of drugs and smoking and there was a graphic image of an infected lung.

He swallows and turns away from the posters on this side of the wall and walks over to another wall instead, this time finding a red and blue one. This one talked about birth control; _THE MANY METHODS OF BIRTH CONTROL_ and his face flushes a little as his eyes met with a nurse walking out the door right next to the poster, who turns to see what Mingyu was reading.

Mingyu clears his throat awkwardly and steps a little to the side to make way for the nurse to get past him. He turns to another glossy poster before the rattle of sliding door sounded again and he immediately turns sideways to ensure the person coming out of the door doesn’t see the still lingering blush on his face.

The person coming out of the door was probably a little startled at the tall piece of Kim Mingyu looming in front of the door because he paused in his tracks to look at the, still unsettled Mingyu pretending to scan through the posters.

Mingyu noticed the halt in movement to his left so he turns to look at the man, and even if he only caught half of his face as the man turns to walk away, he notices. He catches it. The familiar features and that nostalgic gaze from his eyes.

Mingyu’s own trailed the man that had just walked out the check-up room. To his skinny frame wrapped in the grey oversized hoodie and matching sweatpants all the way to that signature dark red beanie.

It couldn’t be...

Could it?

“H-hyung...” he whispers.

It’s been more than ten years. Maybe even twenty. He’s not sure the last time he’s met with those pair of eyes but however long it is, it has been _too_ fucking long.

So he tells himself to work his courage. If it really is him, he shouldn’t – can’t – let him go again.

“W-Wonwoo... -hyung?” he voices out but he’s sure only the last syllable actually makes out loud enough to even be coherent to the human ears.

The man seems to catch it though because he’s looking around. So Mingyu decides to try again, maybe this is fate telling him it’s finally time for him to let that piece of memory along with that buried emotion sitting at the very front layer of his core, to be brought out front-and-center and rule over him again. Maybe this is his second chance. _His second-take._

He clears his throat and manages a little clearer, “It’s good to see you again, hyung...”

The man whips his head around at the sound of Mingyu’s voice. The sight of his face knocks Mingyu’s breath away. The sharp cheekbone and strong jawline paired with his pale white skin. Dark brows framing his eyes. Those eyes. That intense gaze.

But Mingyu isn’t sure whether he’s breathless because of the ethereal features staring back at him or it’s the look in that face that’s causing him to panic.

The man’s face was blank and void of emotions, not even a curious one at that. It was just... blank.

The man moves his pales lips and he make out the words.

“Do I know you?”

Mingyu’s hears his heart breaks.

××××

** _Dec_2003_ **

Mingyu was left to his father 6 months ago when his father divorced his mother. His mother had no choice but to allow his father to take him in because she would have no means of taking care of him since she had never worked since Mingyu was born.

His father on the other hand was a talented pianist and has had his share of fame years ago before he went stale and had since then resort to managing his son, promoting him as the prodigy soprano of his generation.

His mother knew Mingyu would be forced to lean into music ever since he was born, considering how seriously his father took his own career, but she never expected anything more than just the regular lessons and recitals. Ever since Mingyu's first birthday he was already exposed to all kinds of musical instruments, with his father hoping he would turn out exceling in any of it. Of course, his main hope was Mingyu would continue his legacy and studied piano. Which was why piano had remained in his scheduled lessons even if his major was already decided.

It was when Mingyu was four, that the music teacher hired by his father pointed out that Mingyu had massive potential as a classical vocalist instead, primarily as a soprano. Considering his range as a child and the control he had on his vocal manipulation was incredibly mature for his age. So, his father took that chance and tested Mingyu out for classical vocal lessons instead.

And Mingyu turned out to be good. Too good at it. The music circle may be small but the classical vocal circle is much smaller. Word on Mingyu's talent reached all over South Korea and his recognition came fast. His father knew he had hit the lotto with his decision so he began seriously managing Mingyu as the prodigy soprano. Putting him out on television and organizing concerts. Mingyu was popular among kids for a couple of songs he'd done but even more popular among adults with appreciation for classical music.

Everything was going uphill, that is if you look at it from the outside. From an insider’s view, the Kim household was a mess. Mingyu's parents argued every single day. His mother begging to let Mingyu rest and his father's argument of not letting _'talent go to waste'_ and _'he's going to run out of time'_ almost as if he was talking about himself.

His father was so desperate to make himself known again before Mingyu's talent 'ran out', and this time maybe as the _father_ of the prodigy.

Mingyu was flown all over the world. Making his name and leaving his mark. And it worked. But not without the endless hour of practice he was thrown into. Even after his lessons were done, his father would make him practice in front of him and mistakes were not a choice.

His father was smart. Before his mother had been forced to leave, his father never touched Mingyu in front of his mother. He knew she would fight for Mingyu over him and that would not help ease the future plans he has for Mingyu. But the moment she left, his father began his spartan way of giving Mingyu lessons.

Mingyu would have to endure hours of brutal practice, emotionally and physically. His father had begun to beat him, lock him up and starve him.

The thing is, Mingyu could've left. But he couldn't, he didn't. His father's favorite words would always leave him speechless and rendered him back to his dedication to music and his father.

"Your only worth is your voice"

××××

"Kim Mingyu you can sing but you can't talk? I've never heard you say a word. Is that some kind of disease? That's pretty neat- I mean it's kinda bad that you can't talk BUT you can sing when you need anything. When you're hungry you just sing Kimbap juseyo~~" Wonwoo sang while coloring the sky of the drawing on his sketchbook, occasionally scratching his scalp through his dark red beanie.

Wonwoo can be quiet. Really quiet. But he can be incredibly talkative and this was one of those days. He had been talking non-stop for the past hour and he would continue talking and talking even if Mingyu didn't reply. And Mingyu never replied.

Wonwoo was sitting at the end of Mingyu's bed using his over bed table finishing up his drawing. Mingyu was sitting up against the pillows while his legs were still under the covers. Mingyu was playing with the cables of his earphones that Wonwoo had pulled out from his ears earlier, giving him a whole lecture about how it's rude to not listen when people are talking. Mingyu was just looking at Wonwoo absentmindedly and the latter didn't even notice, still focusing on his masterpiece.

"So like you know the Christmas show we're putting up. It's like in 2 days and they're still making fun of my solo part. I mean I kind of tried my best but they're still laughing. They're so mean. I even caught Nurse Han cough out a chuckle, isn't he mean?! I mean come on I tried... And I mean even Chan was doing better than me---"

When Wonwoo was ranting he'd always start to pout making his speech come out a little slurred and his accent would start to show and his eyebrows move around a lot. They're wiggling now too--

"Why am I saying _mean_ a lot... I mean it's not like my vocabulary is that small, is it? I mean, is it though? Is it, Kim Mingyu?"

Mingyu snapped out of his trance and realized Wonwoo was now staring back at him. He quickly looked away and dropped his head. His face was starting to heat up for some reason. He was never able to look straight into Wonwoo's eyes. It'll always feel like the elder could look through him. Through everything he was thinking about, everything he was feeling. Like he could get inside his head and make him do things he never thought of doing.

Like the other day, he was walking around the central kids ward with Wonwoo and the other kids started crowding around him. When he was starting to feel uncomfortable, Wonwoo would just need one look into his eye before shooing the other kids away saying it's his personal vocal training time so everyone should leave him alone with Mingyu.

Or when Wonwoo knew Mingyu hated to get his vitamin shots so he would be in the room with Mingyu when the nurse comes along, then he would distract the nurse so Mingyu could run away, which _he did_ and then got caught anyway. Wonwoo had managed to convince Mingyu to do whatever he wanted with just a little glance and a smile.

They were inseparable within the weeks Mingyu was hospitalized. When Wonwoo invited Mingyu to join him visiting the other kids, (convincing him with how much the other kids love him so they would really be happy with just seeing the boy) Mingyu wouldn't say anything and just went along with him. Wonwoo was a little taller and would always walk a little faster so Mingyu would just follow him, a few steps behind.

Mingyu thought about how Wonwoo was always so patient with him. Even when he wouldn't talk and was almost always grumpy all the time, Wonwoo would continue on talking or doing whatever around Mingyu, and he'd never leave. Deep down, he knew he didn't want to be alone, and he thinks Wonwoo knows that, from the day they met. Wonwoo knew Mingyu just wanted – maybe needed – a friend. So he'd tried his best to be one for Mingyu despite the younger’s denial.

But the thing is, Mingyu just knew he wasn't doing it out of sympathy or he'd just wanted to stick around Mingyu for the name he carried, because Mingyu has had the same share of toleration for Wonwoo's charades. He would hit him at the back of his head like he did to Junhui and playfully pick on him as much as he'd pick on the other kids. That's how Mingyu knew he wasn't just being nice, but he'd already consider Mingyu as one of them.

Wonwoo said it countless of times, the word 'friends'. Mingyu thought about it sometimes, at night as he lied awake. What the weight of that word meant. The value of it?

For years he'd understood the value of family as _repayment_. A big word for a young child.

That he had to repay his father for bringing him into this world and bringing out his talent. That his value was to bring fortune to the family as _repayment_ for his existence. That his value was for the benefit of others.

But his mother's face would always turn into an expression of lament whenever he expresses things like that. She'd cry and cry and apologize. So he tries to believe a little differently now.

She would tell him that he was wrong, very softly. That the value of family is love. It is the unconditional, unwavering feeling that you need to treasure and cherish a certain someone. That Mingyu may have felt that he needed to treat his father right and not make him sad, that was his way of loving his father.

She'd tell him that was also why she had allowed him to be taken care of by only his father. So that Mingyu could live his best life even if it was without her, and she apologizes for allowing him to betray that trust unknowingly. Mingyu understands a little more as his mother breaks it down into smaller words so he tells her she's not at fault and that he's glad she loves him as much as he does too.

So Mingyu now understood love. Unconditional and unwavering, cherishing and treasuring.

But friendship... Wonwoo had described being friends would mean they were partners in crime, trust. That they were two pages of the same book, inseparable, those were the words of his brothers, he'd say. Mingyu couldn't understand any of it at first. But he did understand the part when Wonwoo had said that it was believing that someone would be there for you. That someone would care about you. That someone would love you for you.

So by the end of his midnight contemplation of accepting Wonwoo's proposal of friendship, Mingyu had concluded that maybe yes, he would be there for Wonwoo, only because he knew Wonwoo would. Maybe yes, he would care about Wonwoo, and of course only because Wonwoo does too. And so, maybe yes, he does love Wonwoo as much as Wonwoo loves him too?

He wants to cherish Wonwoo as much as Wonwoo does and he knows it's unwavering because even when Wonwoo's being this annoying he'd still care about Wonwoo, and he knows it goes both ways. So, is he Wonwoo's friend now? That would mean he can trust Wonwoo like he trusts his mother, right? Should he tell him the truth? Should he?

Mingyu bites his lips. Wonwoo's still looking at him with that endearing look again.

"I..."

Mingyu began, very very softly.

Wonwoo's gaze remained neutral. He was being patient and somewhat careful with his expressions. He was trying hard not to look too surprised at Mingyu's attempt to speak.

But their hearts were hammering in their chests. So loud it was audible amidst the silence they were sharing. So Mingyu brought his hands to his chests and closed his eyes. Trying to stop his heart from beating too fast. He doesn't understand why he's so terrified of speaking out what he thinks. It’s probably already imprinted in him that his thoughts don’t matter. His breathing is uneven and he's starting to shiver.

A sudden gush of wind blew in through the slightly open window making the curtains sweep slowly against the white walls. The room is starting to feel cold and Mingyu was starting to tear up.

Then his hands on his chest were warm. So warm.

He opened his eyes to see a pair of hands on his own. They were holding his so gently but firm enough he could feel them trying their best to calm his heart too.

He looked up to see Wonwoo still in front of him, a little closer than before. But his eyes were somewhere else. He was smiling though. He doesn't understand why seeing Wonwoo smile makes him feel so warm on the inside. He has such a warm smile, Mingyu thinks.

It makes him think everything would be okay.

Mingyu was still breathing unevenly and Wonwoo's hands on his gripped a little tighter. Mingyu turned his gaze to the window too, where Wonwoo's was fixed at.

Mingyu gasped slightly and he bursts. Tears started to trickle down his cheeks and what they both saw reflected through the glass in his eyes. It was so beautiful and he wonders if he’s allowed to look at something so nice with nothing else to give back.

"It's okay, Mingyu," Wonwoo whispers so quietly Mingyu would've missed it if the silence and the beats of their hearts weren’t the only sound audible in the darkening room.

Wonwoo's eyes were still on the window but Mingyu could tell, his eyes weren't really looking at anything.

_Of course,_ Wonwoo would. _Of course,_ Wonwoo would've said that.

_Of course,_ Wonwoo would answer every question he'd have in his mind. Wonwoo knew, Wonwoo understood. He always does.

Mingyu chokes up and the tears fall again, harder and heavier this time. They fall like the rain and they never end. He wants to wail a little so he pulls Wonwoo into a hug. He didn't even have to say anything and Wonwoo had already turned to look at him and wrap his arms around Mingyu's shoulders.

"I hate singing. It... It always brings me pain," Mingyu says between hiccups.

Wonwoo just keeps quiet and nods as Mingyu continued crying, wetting the fabric on his shoulder. He only held onto Mingyu as the latter continued speaking gibberish between sobs. He could only wrap his hands tighter around Mingyu, not knowing what to say.

The room was cold from the winter breeze and the boys fell asleep next to each other on the bed. When Mingyu's mother walked into the room, she paused halfway into the room. She smiled as she walked over to close the open window and pull up the covers on the two small boys.

"And here I was all excited about the first snowfall. You two boys sleeping on me, hmmph" his mother said softly with a smile before leaving the room, but not before taking a picture of the scene, remembering to tease Mingyu about this sometime later.


	4. I’m still young, I’m still a bit scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading? :D
> 
> Gosh I love this emoji. It's like borderline annoying but cute at the same time??? :D :D :D As usual, not proofread so please don't mind the horrendous grammar or something :D

**Dec__2003_**

"You're perfection Kim Mingyu! How do you practice to be perfect?" Wonwoo jumps a little, all excited of the example Mingyu had shown him earlier.

Mingyu had promised to teach Wonwoo a couple of techniques, to get him off his back honestly. But it's all in the name of friendship, Wonwoo stated proudly. Mingyu just rolls his eyes. Wonwoo's going to start using their 'friendship' to make Mingyu do things before he knows it. (As if Mingyu wouldn't have done anything Wonwoo ask, prior to their established label anyway.)

But here there are, still in Mingyu's room. They're both standing beside his bed, some badly scrawled writing on pieces of paper all over the bed. The sheet music Wonwoo brought in messily scribbled on with markings from their lesson. Mingyu moves one of the papers to make room on the bed and jumps a little to sit on it.

"My dad hits me during practice... if that's an answer" Mingyu says casually.

Wonwoo blinks.

Mingyu chuckles a little. Seeing Wonwoo speechless is so new to him.

"That's why I hate singing. If I make a mistake I get hit. When we’re in public it's just a slap, sometimes he grabs whatever's near and hits me with it and sometimes when I'm lucky it's just his fist.

“Perfection is a scary word" Mingyu finishes. His hands dropping to his thighs as he sat on the bed.

Mingyu doesn't feel bad. He can talk about it now. After crying it all out to Wonwoo yesterday he thinks letting things out can make him feel better. Wonwoo's taught him that it's okay to just say whatever's on your mind. That you need to express yourself so people understand what you really want.

"Well," Wonwoo hums. Thinking of how he should reply to such statement from his younger friend.

"I don't think perfect needs to be perfect. When I say you're perfect I don't mean you're _reeeally _perfect. You're still rude and a meanie so that's bad about you. But that's what makes you perfect. It makes you, _you_. I think. Well, whatever it is, you're perfect in my eyes anyway."

Mingyu stays quiet as Wonwoo makes his way to sit on the bed beside him.

Perfect.

He'd always hated that word. But he thinks it is sort of feels nice to be called perfect by someone he appreciates. Maybe? Maybe he doesn't mind that word anymore. If it was with Wonwoo.

"You might hate singing but there are people who really appreciate your voice... Your voice saved me. Your voice gave me hope."

Mingyu turned to look at Wonwoo. He was looking down to his thighs but he was smiling.

"And your song saved us, Kim Mingyu..." Wonwoo said softly almost like a whisper.

The younger boy bit his lips and looked at the ground, wondering if he’s allowed to feel as great as he is feeling right now-

"-which is why you should join the Chri--"

"Nope."

"Kim Mingyu!!"

"Nope. I knew you were going to say that."

"Please-"

"Nope."

"Ugh."

××××

It was near the afternoon when Dr Hong walked into his room with Nurse Han behind him, "Hello Kim Mingyu. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling good, Dr Hong" Mingyu replied with a small smile. Usually it was only the resident, Dr Xu who would come and do his daily checkups. If Dr Hong was there, he knew he would be getting updates on his condition today.

"It's really nice to hear your voice finally," Nurse Han cooed at Mingyu as Dr Hong chuckled and proceeded with his daily checkup.

Dr Xu walked in with his mother a few moments after and she smiled coyly at Mingyu as she took the seat next to Mingyu's bed. She’d probably already heard the incoming news from Dr Xu and now it’s time for it to be delivered to Mingyu. Once Dr Hong was done with his checkup, he passed the charts to Nurse Han and sat at the end of the bed with his body turned to Mingyu.

"Okay Mingyu, now I'm going to tell you about your throat again. Does it hurt today at all?" 

"Not really, doctor. It's just a little sore”

"It is, isn't it? Big word there. I knew you were a smart boy.” Dr Hong smiles and pats the boy’s head before continuing.

“Okay so yesterday we took an CT scan, didn't we?" the doctor smiles and Mingyu nods, "Mhmm, so when I saw your scan, I saw that there's still a little lump on this part of your throat."

Mingyu bit his lip. He was worried of what was about to come next. But Dr Hong just smiled, "Don't worry. It's really small. Only about the size of your pinky. Come here, show me your fingers" Dr Hong brought up his larger hand beside Mingyu's smaller one.

"The last time it was the size of my thumb, did you know that?" Dr Hong pointed to his thumb with his other hand. "That's why it hurt so much when we brought you in, remember? You couldn't sing as well anymore and it was getting hard for you to breathe right?"

Mingyu nodded, reminded of the pain he had felt throughout the few weeks before his latest concert recital. Where he finally broke down in tears and had passed out during a number. He drifted between consciousness and being completely blacked out but he remembered clearly the pain he was going through.

"Now this time it's just a tiny one. Look here, just the size of the nail on your pinky." Dr Hong was still smiling. Mingyu wondered if that was how Dr Hong comforted all his patients, with that pretty, pretty smile. If it was, Mingyu was glad because he really felt a lot better looking at Dr Hong's smile.

"The last time we couldn't take it out because it was too small and it was sitting right on top of your nerve" this time Dr Xu continued, "So, we let the tumor develop but under strict monitoring, of course, so we could carve it out and detach it completely from the nerve."

"Hey Dr Book, kid language, remember?" Nurse Han chuckled before turning to Mingyu and brought one of his hands to the side of his face, pretending to whisper to Mingyu, "let's assume it's a bad plant growing, so he means we're going to cut off the plant at its roots" Nurse Han shoots his infamous gleaming smile and Mingyu laughs a little at how the resident covers his mouth shyly.

Dr Hong laughs a little too before continuing, "So, now that we can get it out safely, we need to do it fast. Do you think you'll be okay if we do it in three days?"

"Yes, doctor. I'm not scared." Mingyu says and his mother just smiles adoringly.

"Good boy! You're so strong, little Mingyu" Dr Hong pats Mingyu's head softly.

So Mingyu's surgery was scheduled for two days from now, Friday, on Christmas. He felt a little bad the doctors will have to work on that day but Dr Hong and Dr Xu assured him that they didn't mind and would do anything to make him better as soon as possible. So Mingyu decides he could trust them too.

Wonwoo still goes to his room casually. Today too, he's still practicing for his solo part for the upcoming Christmas show they're putting up on Christmas Eve, tomorrow.

Dr Xu came up with the idea of putting up a choir show since the kids loved watching Kim Mingyu's performance on tv so much. The kids of the wards would gather to watch him sing on tv every Monday in one of the bigger wards where some of the kids were getting their chemotherapy. Apparently, Nurse Han had played one of his CDs once before and the kids loved it so much that it had become a common calming mechanism for most of the kids there.

Mingyu didn't believe it at first but when Wonwoo showed him around before, he saw it himself how a few kids were getting their treatment with his songs playing in the background. They seemed so happy and calm and some even began singing along.

He was devastated and was about to run away but not before choking up in front of Wonwoo.

Wonwoo chased after him and found Mingyu crouching against the wall of the emergency stairs at the very end of the floor, just bawling his eyes out. Wonwoo only sighed and sat beside Mingyu on the other edge of the stairs, pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them.

When Wonwoo had realized it, he had woken up to the sound of sobbing. Apparently, he'd fallen asleep as he'd waited for Mingyu to calm down. Wonwoo wondered how long he had been there. It could've been a couple hours or maybe he was just being overdramatic and it was probably less, but he sighed loudly before standing up, facing Mingyu. The other boy was still sobbing and hiccupping before he turned to look at Wonwoo with swollen eyes and a red nose.

The elder sighed loudly and stood up, "You know there are other things you can do other than sit around and cry. Everything's fine. They're fine. They're moving on with their life. You need to do the same too!" Wonwoo said with his hands on his hips. "My brother says life goes on so you need to keep moving too. If you just stand still, you'll get left behind..."

Wonwoo said but his voice was starting get a little quieter towards the end. Mingyu kept his eyes on the wall behind Wonwoo before dropping his gaze to the ground again. He could feel tears starting to pool in his eyes.

_Getting left behind?_

If he stood still, he was going to get left behind? But he's been alone all his life. Who could leave him behind if there was nobody in his life in the first place? His parents... His mother had walked pass him before when he left him. His father... he was the one keeping him there. But even if he decided to move on, where is he heading to-

"Just take one step and you'll see for yourself, Kim Mingyu."

_Wonwoo's answering his thoughts again..._

The kids in the ward... they showed Mingyu a kind of strength he had never seen before. Strength he was able to give them. The strength _he_ had. Maybe he could take a step forward. But how would he do it?

"You just need to stand up."

_There it is again. Wonwoo._

But that can't be enough, Mingyu thinks. Even if he decided to stand up, he'd already been left behind...

"We can always come back and pick you up... Or you can come to us."

Mingyu looked up and his eyes locked with Wonwoo's determined ones again.

"Run, Mingyu! You can run after me!"

And maybe it was after that Mingyu had already decided he was going to follow Wonwoo. The way Wonwoo spoke of the things the world has to offer and the wonderful things in life made Mingyu believe it might not be too bad to leave his past behind and step into the bright side that is Jeon Wonwoo.

××××

** _Sept_2019_ **

“So... you wanna tell me why I had to call in sick and miss my class today?” The man turns to look down at what he had on, “And wear 5 sweaters while you hide beside me on this wonderfully comfortable hospital bench?” Seokmin runs his fingers through his hair while he sighs, leaning his back to the bench.

He turns to Mingyu who was sitting to his left. Mingyu’s hands folded into himself and he was shrinking himself _semi-behind_ Seokmin, as his face peeks out from beside the bundles of fabric wrapped around the other man. His eyes searching for someone from the stream of people walking through the hallways.

Mingyu called up the busy astrophysics major this morning and basically dragged him into the hospital for a ‘checkup’. The taller was rambling about how sick Seokmin had looked and oh my you must be shivering, as he shoved the student into layers of paddings and sweaters he had brought along.

Seokmin as a matter of fact is not at all sick. He is as fit as a fiddle, or a flute or a trombone. All of those. Whatever it is, he is very much healthy so he knows the actor has something going on in that mind of his that he just would not tell.

Seeing how Mingyu doesn’t reply to his question and occasional whining, Seokmin decides to slap Mingyu’s bicep loudly earning a yelp from the taller.

“Ah! What you do that for?” Mingyu sits a little straighter and pouts. Half of Seokmin wants to slap that pout off the taller’s face but half of him feels bad for hitting the man in the first place.

“What are you doing? I’m freaking burning!” he voices out, sounding less patient now that Mingyu has finally responded. The sweaters he was wearing were making him sweat a bunch and if Seokmin was healthy before, he might experience a spike in temperature and actually get sick or something.

Mingyu’s pout turns into a slight smirk before he leans in to wrap one of his hands around Seokmin’s bulked up shoulders from the massive amount of clothings he has on, “I’m taking you for a check-up Seok, of course! It’s cold out these days so we need to keep you warm and safe from the wind! And plus, we need to protect that arm of yours-”

“That _you_ hit me with?”

Mingyu smiles apologetically while he leans further to bring the man into his embrace.

“And it’s already healed so we don’t nee-” Seokmin’s words were cut short by Mingyu pulling his torso forward for him to hide his face behind.

It’s funny he thinks. He had literally just met the taller man three weeks ago – by almost running him over – but their antics scream best friends. True to Mingyu’s nostalgia he really did know Seokmin from somewhere. When the latter had woken up (the same day he was ‘hospitalized’ since it was nothing serious after all), he had pulled Mingyu into a hug and wept into his shoulders leaving a really big wet mark on the man’s satin button down.

Mingyu panicked for a bit – as per usual – but realized who the man was when he had pulled back and shone him his brightest smile, where his eyes just turn into these two adorable crescents and basically half-sobbed out, “It’s me. I’m Seok!”

They exchanged numbers and decided to hang out at Mingyu’s place sometime later to catch up.

It was a week later after the accident and Mingyu has finally had a clear in his schedule for the day, so he texted the brunette, wondering if he wanted to drop by for dinner. Seokmin, never the man to decline a free meal immediately agreed and told him he would be there around eight, after his class was over and that he’d bring desserts.

Jihoon was a little surprised at how Mingyu wasn’t at all suspicious of Seokmin or whether he was a safe company to keep. They had literally met only that once, and there’s no proof that Seokmin is actually _the_ Seokmin Mingyu had previously encountered in his life. The elder thought it was a bit too good of a coincidence that the person Mingyu had _almost_ (Mingyu insists) run over, was also coincidentally a person from his past. Maybe Jihoon was a bit wary and paranoid that a possible typical set up of ‘oh you are rich and famous now, time to exploit you by making use of the connection that we have’ scheme is going on.

But nevertheless, he knows Mingyu is mature enough to know how to judge a person himself, so if Mingyu thinks Seokmin is trustworthy then it’s not where Jihoon will impede. Although the elder know for sure a person so hard to please like Kim Mingyu would never go this far, just to warm up to another person. Moreover, this quickly for no reason at all. He must have something on his mind or something he _wants_ from Lee Seokmin. Or, maybe he just really misses the people from his past. Jihoon doesn’t try to pry further and just leaves their apartment, telling Mingyu he’ll be spending his night at the agency – something the elder does often.

Mingyu just nod and waves Jihoon off before he starts preparing dinner.

About a quarter past eight, Mingyu rang Seokmin up the elevator and into his home. They were a little awkward at first but got comfortable immediately when they started eating their food.

They talked about their current life, how they got to where they were, their prospects of life and ‘other things you ask a long-lost friend’.

They talked about how damn successful Mingyu is these days with his face plastered on ads and billboards everywhere, and his roles in his dramas and movies. Seokmin giving him his thoughts on the works Mingyu had done – proud that he hadn’t miss any of the work Mingyu had done despite his disinterest in the entertainment industry (I’m supporting my long lost friend!) – and not missing to inform him on the detail of how shocked he was when he first discovered Kim Mingyu. How he figured he had looked too familiar and when he looked the actor up to find that Mingyu had a history of classical music during his childhood, thus confirming his suspicion that it was, indeed, the same boy he had known back in the wards.

Mingyu had also asked about Seokmin’s studies. How he is finishing up his masters currently and letting Seokmin go on and on about his passion for astrophysics. The actor snickered at how Seokmin didn’t change one bit since they were kids, him always talking about the stars and the skies. He pats the latter in the back and tell him it’s wonderful that he gets to pursue what he loves.

They conversed over dinner and tried not to dive into their past too much, saving the big questions they had for each other until dessert. _How_ were they doing?

“Kim Mingyu I don’t know what on earth is your thought process is, but-”

“Shh! It’s him!” Mingyu repeatedly hit Seokmin’s heavily padded chest before basically cowering beside the man. His eyes like a hawk’s, trained on a man walking out one of the checkup rooms.

Seokmin turns his head so fast towards the direction Mingyu was facing he almost pulled a nerve on his neck. He’s curious as to whatever the fuck the reason is that _the_ _one and only Kim Mingyu_ would be folding himself up, sunglasses perched on his nose, hoodie and cap on, looking borderline criminal on a hospital bench, hiding beside a man looking so bunched up in paddings.

His line of sight brings him upon a man bowing to the nurse standing at one of the doors, before walking away heading towards them. The man was wearing a black and grey loose sweater and reddish colored beanie. Seokmin doesn’t know what he’s looking for but he’s sure he absolutely does not recognize this man from anywhere.

“Okay it wasn’t him,” Mingyu visibly relaxes his shoulders and leans his back to the backrest of the bench before Seokmin shoves one of his heavily padded elbows to Mingyu’s ribs.

“Who, Mingyu?!”

The actor coughed a little, rubbing over the spot he was harshly nudged with. Putting on a maximum pout and squint of his eyes to the man beside him.

Seokmin wasn’t having it so he just maintained the question mark in his face, this time relentless to the actor’s charades.

“Hyung...” Mingyu actually looked like he was going to cry, and Seokmin actually felt a little bad, being the kind soul that he is. But Seokmin just raised an eyebrow, still not getting the answer he was asking for.

Mingyu continues softly, “... Wonwoo-hyung.”

_Oh._

Seokmin does feel bad. He knows the thing Mingyu has for Wonwoo, somewhat, maybe. He knows it’s a complicated matter for Mingyu and that the man feels some sort of guilt that he couldn’t manage to maintain any contact with the other, or was it something along the lines of that. Mingyu wasn’t exactly clear on his thoughts because he was so drunk when they talked about it and Seokmin being equally as wasted remembers less.

But he does remember Wonwoo and Mingyu being close back then, really close. They were always hand in hand, Mingyu a little smaller than Wonwoo, just following behind the elder. They were a package; one always came with the other.

Even before Mingyu came along, Wonwoo had been the one to welcome the kids into the ward. Seokmin doesn’t remember much from the earlier days of his hospitalization except being welcomed by Wonwoo-hyung and his band of other sick kids. They were very welcoming and had made Seokmin feel more than at ease. He made friends really fast with everyone and he had never once felt like his stays in the wards were unbearable. He doesn’t know what effect Wonwoo had on the others but what he had felt was that the elder had a very strong reliable presence.

Wonwoo was their rock. All of theirs’.

Seokmin was admitted after his parents brought him in for his prolonging problem of breathing. His parents were worried if he was starting to develop asthma at that age, only for the doctors to find a cyst in his lungs instead. It wasn’t particularly serious but he did spend quite a portion of his childhood constantly being admitted and discharged again. So, he clearly remembers the things Wonwoo did for the kids at wards. Always making up things to do, cheering everyone up every time, with his wish trees, tv show requests and holiday activities. The boy was really positive and happy all the time, and had made sure anyone in his proximity was too. He’s sure there was no memory in his mind of Jeon Wonwoo frowning during all the time he was there – well maybe except for one.

He also remembers the day. That day of the Christmas party that they were having at the pediatric ward. The horrible, horrible day, where everything just crashed and burn.

“Wonwoo-hyung? Really?” Seokmin’s eyes grew wider. The thought of seeing the great guy that had made their lives at the wards more than just bearable, makes Seokmin yearn for Mingyu to be telling the truth. But did Mingyu really see their old hyung from the ward, here in this hospital, “Are you sure it was him?”

Seokmin was a little unconvinced. After all Jeon Wonwoo was...

“Yes!” Mingyu held onto Seokmin’s left arm before continuing in a small voice, “... I think...” he sighs. His grip on the student tightens.

The look in Seokmin’s face softens as he mirrors the actor’s slumped shoulders, “Mingyu, did you really drag me here to accompany you based on that one…” he bites his lips, doesn’t know what to call it (delusion), “presumption?”

Mingyu opens his mouth to speak but it hung with no words forming. He felt bad that he made Seokmin come out on his one day off, making the latter miss out on his class. All on the basis of that one weird encounter with that guy a few weeks back. He was sure it was Wonwoo, or was he? Maybe not? But the guy didn’t even respond when he asked, just maintained the blank look he had so-

“It’s not my fault! He didn’t recognize me so I panicked and ran away so I couldn’t hear what he had to say so I’m not really 100% sure but...” Mingyu was starting to slur his words from spitting them out too fast. A habit Seokmin finds funny, considering the Mingyu he remembers as a kid had so few words to say, he swears he could count the words the taller had spoken with him on just both hands.

“But he was here this same day last week-” he continues, voice getting softer and softer, almost whimpering like a kicked puppy, “it’s just… I couldn’t talk to him because I- I was scared. Which is why I decided to bring you... this time...” the sunglasses dropping lower on his nose, revealing his slightly red eyes.

Seokmin thinks Mingyu probably hasn’t gotten enough sleep. Due to work? Or is it because of this? Has he been thinking about this for the past three weeks?

“Wait, you were here last week too?” Seokmin turned to the sulking 6ft tall lamppost beside him.

Mingyu nodded slowly. Still with a pout on his lips.

“So you figured he’d be here again?” Seokmin continued, his voice soft like a dad scolding a baby.

The tall man-baby nodded again.

Seokmin sighed.

“It’s worth a shot, right?” Mingyu says after they went quiet for a while. Seokmin not knowing what to say, “I mean, don’t you miss him Seok?”

Seokmin turns to Mingyu again before smiling to himself and nodding slightly, “Are you kidding me, until I had met you and you spewing all these hope on me, I’d already accepted that he was gone, you know.”

He turns back searching for Mingyu’s eyes, making sure the taller hears what he was going to say next, “He had a red tag remember?”

Being in the same ward doesn’t mean they had the same level of seriousness of their conditions. When he had left – or was brought out of the ward – he remembers thrashing and kicking in his mother’s hold asking to stay with his friends. But his mother told him that since he was getting better than the rest of them, he needed to leave to make room for other kids that was sick to come in too.

He asks if Wonwoo was going to leave any time soon so he could meet with his hyung, but his mother told him she thinks Wonwoo might take a little longer to be able to leave.

Mingyu understood this only after he was in his last year of high school, his memory perceives him of the strap he had on his wrist, and the slight difference with the strap around Wonwoo’s back then. It was white and Velcro, there was a sort of plastic plate on it and there were some big words mentioning his condition printed on the plate. The only difference is Wonwoo’s came with a small red dot marking at the end.

He saw a similar marking on the tag that was on his father’s wrist, when the old man was struggling to breathe on his deathbed.

So he connected the dots and went home, with his heart shattering in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	5. Though I know it’ll stop soon, I’m looking for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it's unfamiliar, the titles of the chapters are just the lyrics to downpour :D

** _Dec_2003_ **

Dr Xu Minghao does not deny his attachment to Jeon Wonwoo.

Dr Xu is only twenty-three years old. He doesn’t think he’s ready for kids, but after being a resident stationed at a pediatric ward for almost 6 months already, he really wants to adopt all the kids staying there as his own.

He’s never been a kid person, he was never like all the ‘kid-person’ he has met, who wants to be a kindergarten teacher or run a nursery one day so they could take care of kids and nurture them so they become the best version they could be or something. He’s never even held a baby before he was finally graduating med school and ready for actual residency.

But upon spending his time around the ‘angels’ (or ‘demons’ as Nurse Han would call them) running around in the pediatric wards who hates their vitamin shots and who refuses to walk unless their hands are being held. His heart has been melted and frozen over just to be melted again many, many times.

He tries not to feel too deep for the children, but he finds it so unfair that they have to go through everything they do. They are too young and too pure; they could never deserve the pain that were handed out to them. It’s even more terrible if it was given out to them from the day they were born. The conditions that came along with the gift of their existence. It breaks his heart when he learns that some of them have never even seen the outside world and may never will.

From what he has gathered, treating adults and children are very different. Children are especially unpredictable. When you think you know their conditions, it takes a huge flip just the next day and surprises you with sudden heart palpitations or one day they’re fine and the next day they’re having anaphylaxis reactions to new treatments.

This was the case for Jeon Wonwoo.

Jeon Wonwoo was already there when Dr Xu had been assigned to the wards. The nine-year-old was a pale little boy diagnosed with CML (Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia), a cancer affecting his blood cells and bone marrow. It’s very rare to be found in children and moreover an odd case when it’s not genetic nor has the boy been exposed to any radiation whatsoever. He was just, born with it. He was also born with various allergies to medications making it a much higher hurdle for him to be treated.

From the day Jeon Wonwoo was born he had never left the hospital. It became his home. And surprisingly, he was very welcoming of Dr Xu when the resident had arrived. The young doctor watches as the little boy marches around the wards and interacts with everybody, making the place his own.

Dr Xu cries that night, thinking to himself, why is God so cruel that a child must make a place with white beds, syringes and the smell of iodine their home. But then he wonders to the children that has none at all and he feels worse about himself.

It is no compensation for the other children suffering in the world even if he makes the kids in the wards happy, but he figures it’s the limit of his capabilities currently. He will do his job and emerge as the best physician he could become.

Because he truly believes_, that there are no children that does not deserve to become adults._

His supervisor, Dr Hong, always tells him that he’s doing great, and that empathy will make him a better doctor than he already is. But Minghao hates it. He hates how helpless he feels when he reads the charts of the kids with the long-term conditions. Of course, he knows better than to wear the exasperated expressions whenever he’s in front of them though, instead, he smiles and does everything he could so they feel happier even if it’s just for that one moment.

So, he follows in the steps of Jeon Wonwoo, taking notes on how the little one interacts with the other kids in the wards and how he keeps them happy. When Wonwoo comes up to him and tells him of a great song he thinks the other kids might like to hear when they get their chemo, Dr Xu nods and passes the request to Nurse Han. When the boy tells him he thinks a Christmas-Caroling show might be an awesome way to bring everyone together, Dr Xu agrees and does his best to get it done too.

And now he’s taping the decorations on the windows of the waiting area of the pediatrician ward. Some of the nurses are helping him set up the tables, benches and chairs so it can accommodate the show later this evening. They also planned to do a little party after the show is done, some parents agreeing to bring in dinner and snacks – of course with the doctors’ green light – seeing as how it’s currently Christmas Eve and it wouldn’t hurt for the children to have a little fun once in a while.

“Don’t forget you have a surgery to be part of tomorrow, Hao,” a voice draws in behind Minghao as he stands back to admire the work he’s done with the decorations. It looks great.

Minghao turns and gives the man a smile, “I know, Sol.”

“You know, I’m kind of jealous you got stationed at the peds instead of surgical like me. You seem to be having way more fun than I thought you would be. I thought you didn’t even like kids,” Hansol gives the taller a lopsided smile as he brings his hands to his hips.

Minghao laughs a little as he walks over to keep the extra tape and ribbons in his hands in the box, “Maybe I like them a little more now, who knows” the taller laughs a little before continuing, “And here I thought you were having more fun than me. I heard you’re the only resident Dr Boo approves of. Sounds to me you’re getting pretty legit if you’re getting an OK from _the_ genius doctor.”

Hansol gives Minghao a shake of his head but grins nevertheless, “Yo, no way. He is _ruthless_. He’s real smart alright but gosh I swear, with the amount of surgery he goes in that I have to assist,” the pale blond sounds an exaggerated sigh, “I could come out being just as good as cutting people open as him-”

“Really now?” a voice interrupts Hansol but he doesn’t notice.

Minghao clamps his lips and tries to get Hansol’s attention so he could stop badmouthing his superior because said man is, as of now, standing right behind him.

But Hansol is distracted by the ribbons in the box and he plays with them as he keeps on rambling, “Yeah, I mean he hardly takes a break Hao. I am beat!”

“Oh my, are you now?” Dr Boo answers monotonously as he steps a little closer behind Hansol.

“I swear I’m in that OP room more than I am in this hospital all together. If it’s not a scheduled one, we’re doing an emergency op it’s insane how he doesn’t collapse-”

“Yeah well maybe he gets actual rests on his breaks instead of going off to complain to his colleague on his awful,” Dr Boo says with a fake sympathetic tone rolling off his tongue, continuing only after Hansol has bit his tongue and slowly turned around to face his, “awful boss.”

“Kwannie, I-”

“Fuck you, I told you not to call me that.” Dr Boo’s brows furrow as he steps back from the slightly taller blond now facing him, Hansol attaching himself to the elder’s side, almost holding on to one of Dr Boo’s arms if the elder is not staring daggers into those pleading puppy eyes.

“B-but what are you doing here--“ Hansol says and Minghao is a little shocked at how the he is not using honorifics and how close the two are right now, not to mention the look they are giving each other, but he doesn’t say a word, “How much did you hear??”

“Minghao-sshi,” Dr Boo begins as he snaps his eyes from shooting lasers into Hansol’s eyes back to his neutral gaze on Minghao, making the younger stand a little straighter, “I’ll be joining the procedure with patient Kim Mingyu tomorrow to assist Dr Hong. I trust to find you with the details and if it’s not too much will you be able to brief me?”

“Y-yes, sure, Dr Boo. The materials are in Dr Hong’s office,”

“Great, show me. I needed to talk to Dr Hong about one of his other patients anyway.”

“Ye-yes, okay doctor,” Minghao tries to gather his calm as he converses with the legendary man whom was able to extract a tumor from within an eight-year-old’s tiny esophagus in just under 30 minutes, right in front of his eyes, just a few weeks ago.

Boo Seungkwan was already a master surgeon, at just twenty-seven. He is _more_ than just a little intimidating to Minghao, even if that didn’t seem like the case for Chwe Hansol.

“Can’t I come?” he pouts.

Dr Boo snatches the roll of red ribbon from Hansol’s hands and drapes it around the resident’s head before continuing with a bite in his tone, “You can stay here and help them set up, I thought I heard you say it would be more fun here anyway,” he smirks as he walks off towards the office with Minghao following behind him.

Minghao gives Hansol an apologetic gaze and then covers his mouth when he almost let out a giggle at the state the blonde was in. He wonders how Hansol had become the assistant of choice for Dr Boo if that was how he was around the elder.

Maybe the subtle smile of satisfaction on Hansol’s face as they walked off meant a little something but Minghao doesn’t want to pry any further.

××××

** _Sept_2019_ **

3 hours spent just sitting around the hospital bench and they didn’t end up meeting the alleged Wonwoo anyway, with Mingyu finally giving in to Seokmin’s whining to set him free. They decided to stop by the new coffee shop across Seokmin’s campus; Mingyu’s treat for dragging Seokmin against his own will. Seokmin suggested the coffee shop, because one of his seniors, Soonyoung, was managing the café there, so he’d been meaning to pay him a visit anyway – and maybe prove _(brag)_ to the mentioned senior that the infamous Kim Mingyu was really in fact, his childhood friend.

So Mingyu went along with the plan and shrug off all his ‘disguise’, because what better way to support Seokmin’s plan of flaunting his famous friend, than to actually _look like a famous friend_ – if that made sense.

The coffee shop was the sole building across the street from a campus residential block, so the foot traffic outside was a little heavy. Heads turned immediately even before Mingyu had gotten off the car. Expected; rolling down a university street filled with nosy young adults in a fancy car would not be a wise way to ‘lay low’ – if he ever needs to.

But it doesn’t matter, today he is here as Seokmin’s friend, so if Seokmin says he needs him to be the famous friend for like 5 seconds then Mingyu will be the famous friend for as long as he needs. Seokmin’s been more than helpful (tolerant) of Mingyu’s more than often sudden requests.

“Hm, maybe you_ should_ at least put on a hat. I’ve only just realized this and I’m sort of afraid we might get mobbed,” Seokmin gulps as he grabs his backpack and straightens the wrinkles on his black denim jacket. The outerwear _has_ been sort of smushed under the massive layer of fabric he was made to put on earlier. He pulls out his phone and turns on the front camera, brushing his hair slightly with his fingers, getting tangles out and smacks his lips once he scrubbed on some lip balm using the tip of his index finger.

If Mingyu thinks Seokmin is trying to make himself look better, he doesn’t say it out loud. He also doesn’t mention the tint of pink that lingers on Seokmin’s cheeks whenever the topic turns to the aforementioned Soonyoung-hyung all throughout their ride here.

Seokmin told Mingyu, he has been tutoring Soonyoung for a couple of months now and the boy had invited him to hang at the café but he’s never actually gotten the time (courage) to go on his own. Soonyoung and him were first acquainted through a mutual friend, Seungcheol, who is also the owner of the café they were headed to. Despite being 14 years older than Seokmin, Seungcheol treats the former like his own brother even if he was once his lecturer.

Seungcheol is an alumnus of their university and was Seokmin’s thesis mentor, during the first year of Seokmin’s masters. Seungcheol being a little surprised that Seokmin is already doing his masters at his age but nevertheless didn’t make the younger feel more out of place, rather appreciating his talent and taking him under his wing. Seokmin became good friends with the elder even after he had finished his doctorate a couple of years ago and even after he had left the path of science and had decided to open up coffee shop franchises across town; finally succumbing to devoting to his life-long dream.

So Seungcheol had contacted him one day and asked if Seokmin could take up a tutorial session with one of his cousin’s friends. He told Seokmin said person is actually working for him at one of the café branches and was struggling in a class he took haphazardly during first year. Now it’s backfiring on him because he’s studying Performing Arts and he should not have taken Chemistry – let along fail throughout the rest of the years – and that this was his last chance before he gets kicked out for failing a third time. Seokmin would have declined if Seungcheol hadn’t mentioned that it was a blonde that goes by the name Kwon Soonyoung, or Hoshi ‘if you know him from around campus’.

Like hell if Seokmin didn’t know Hoshi, final year Performing Arts degree, one of the dancers from the ‘cool kids’ clique that hangs around campus with their large group of friends. Soonyoung is technically not his senior since Seokmin entered college way earlier, but he’s still a year younger than Soonyoung so he calls the dancer hyung anyway. He doesn’t interact with the rest of Soonyoung’s group though. They’re not at all bullies, but they get pretty intimidating with their fashion style and colored hair at times and one of them _did_ ‘compliment’ Seokmin’s glasses that one time, so he always chooses to turn the other way if the clique were in the hallway.

“Is that why you chose to lose the specs?” Mingyu raises his eyebrows.

“Not really,” Seokmin shrugs. “I’ve always wanted to try contacts anyways.”

Either way, Kwon Soonyoung’s group of friends isn’t exactly the gang that Seokmin would be thrilled to even be acquainted with but he doesn’t deny himself of the fact that he finds the blonde rather, well, cute.

They had interacted only once before, he was manning the library counter last year, – because of course, where else would he rather be, and to be paid to actually stay in there is such an advantage as well – and one day Soonyoung had walked up to the counter to borrow a book. He just randomly gave Seokmin the most adorable smile he had ever seen in his life as the he slowly dropped a pack of gummy bears onto the younger’s opened palms. Seokmin was a little taken aback but with a cheeky grin Soonyoung then began in a whisper, “I need to apologize first. I… actually made a mess in the Row 5 when I was trying to get this book and I have absolutely no clue which book goes where, if you can’t tell this is my first time in a library, so I couldn’t clean it up, and the thing is I really need to leave now because I _really_ need to start on this report or I will actually die if my parents find out I failed another class, so this is kind of my bail-out, apology, request, whatever you wish to call it, just PLEASE… Can I just… leave, please?”

What else can Seokmin do but nod and write the book up quickly, then stuttering as he explains how the book will be due in 6 weeks instead of four because he added the two extra weeks (librarian privileges) instead so the elder shouldn’t worry and take all the time to finish up his report slowly. The blonde then gave him that same bright smile, that kind of makes it hard for Seokmin to breathe, before Soonyoung slips his free hand into all the pockets of his bomber jacket to then drop, yet another pack of gummy bears onto the counter, thanking him swiftly and running off.

Since then, his eyes had always tended to fall on the blonde even though the blonde is in such a festive looking crowd. Rather, he is _all_ Seokmin sees whenever he comes even remotely close to an encounter with the group. That was it though, he never made an effort to approach Soonyoung after that and the blonde doesn’t seem to notice his presence anyway. The book he borrowed was returned when Seokmin wasn’t on duty so he missed out on that opportunity as well.

But of course, he skips all this backstory when he explains to Mingyu, instead, he tells the taller that he could use a little tutoring job on his resume, as his ‘extra achievements’.

And of course, _Mingyu knows it’s bullshit._

“We’ll be fine. Come on, it’s not every day you get to walk alongside a superstar. Time for you to live a little,” Mingyu checks himself out one last time in the mirror, flicking his side-swept styled bangs casually, before turning off the ignition. He’s ready to rock this coffee shop (and maybe try set Kwon Soonyoung up with his bro).

Seokmin groans and rolls his eyes as he gets off.

They were halfway through the threshold when Seokmin pointed in the direction of said hyung. Soonyoung was the blonde wearing a comfy looking blue sweater under his grey apron, tied snug around his waist, accentuating his slim figure. His hair was straight and it shaped around his head like a little mushroom, which made him look really cute. His eyes were almost similar to Seokmin’s, which would curve upwards and almost seem like they would disappear whenever they smile, but Soonyoung’s were a little more slanted and they were currently focused on clearing out a tabletop.

He was standing near the front of the cafe, oblivious to the two who had just entered the shop. He’d greeted them upon the chime of the bell without even looking up.

Only after the gasps and whispers from other customers in the store, he had looked up and covered his mouth in a dramatic gasp. He bolted around the booth and headed for Seokmin who was already wearing the smuggest smile the world has ever seen. But the smugness disappears almost instantly and his eyes turns into those crescents again, with a crinkle of joy when Soonyoung basically ran up to his side and hugged his right arm, almost squealing.

“Yah! Why didn’t you tell me you were coming-” Soonyoung threw a small glance towards the man standing beside Seokmin, whispering loudly, “and with Kim _fucking_ Mingyu too?? What the actual fuck, Minnie? A warning could’ve sufficed!”

Seokmin chuckled and whispered back, “Well, you said you didn’t believe me when I said I think I was friends with Kim Mingyu.”

Soonyoung pouted before hitting the taller’s arm slightly, “_You _weren’t even sure you were friends with Kim Mingyu!”

Seokmin giggled before Soonyoung’s pout turned into a small frown, “Is he okay though?”

The whole café was stunned at the entrance of _the _Kim Mingyu – _and that didn’t exclude Kim Mingyu himself._ As soon as Mingyu had stepped into the café _he_ froze as well.

For if Jihoon thinks him meeting with Seokmin was too much of a coincidence, and that there’s a possibility that Seokmin might be scamming him, then all hell be damned, Kim Mingyu is _thankful_ that he is being scammed because oh gosh-

Standing right there, behind the counter, operating one of the coffee machines and just oblivious to the surrounding in his nonchalance glory, narrowing his sharp eyes and focusing on finishing up the drink in his hands-

It’s him.

His Wonwoo-hyung...

It’s really him…

Well, maybe. It’s the guy he saw in the hospital, for sure.

Mingyu swears he had forgotten how to breathe. His chest tightening and his eyes are starting to sting. He’d probably forgotten to blink too, maybe that’s why tears are starting to pool in his eyes.

He just stares and stares at the man wearing the black oversized sweater that shoulders fall lower than his shoulder lines, and that beige apron tied around his waist – that small lithe waist – whipping up a drink of some sort. He then placed said drink on the counter and yelled out a mix of extravagant pretentious words which Mingyu guesses is the name of the drink.

His voice, it’s deep. It’s deeper than Mingyu’s and it sounds good. It resonates really well and it’s so _nice_ to listen to.

His hyung looks good, a little pale and slim, but good. He’s tall too, maybe a few inches off himself but nevertheless he is… _stunning_. And his hair, this time there’s no beanie, and his hair is there. There’s a lot of it. He has nice hair. It’s a little brown than black but it’s there. _He has hair!!_

It’s a bit odd for Mingyu to be excited about hair but he thinks he deserves it. He has never seen Wonwoo with hair after all, and _what a look! _But most importantly he seems fine. Wonwoo looks okay and Mingyu wants to cry.

He’s already on the verge of it too.

Only by then had Wonwoo finally noticed the whole café was focused on something else, because no one had come to claim the drink. He looks up to see the tall man frozen in the middle of the café, staring at him.

It took him long enough because to Mingyu’s defense_, who wouldn’t notice Mingyu_, he was sticking out like a sore thumb there. With his expensive looking leather jacket on top of a greyish shirt inside, tucked in just right inside his black skinny ripped jeans. Mingyu had said he was going to look like a celebrity for Seokmin and he does, but now he’s drawing attention where he doesn’t actually want to.

He wants everyone but Wonwoo to disappear, to just leave them by themselves, so he could just take all the time in the world to stare at the gorgeous man in front of him.

But Wonwoo was still looking at him weirdly. And Mingyu still forgets to breathe so the tears finally start rolling off his cheeks.

Wonwoo’s eyes widen and he starts to panic a little, bringing his hands together. His sleeves had rolled down his wrists beforehand and when he brings them up the fingers poking through make an awfully adorable sweater paw effect and Mingyu just wants to keep crying. So he does, maybe a little uglier too.

Wonwoo’s mouth drops open, he seemed worried if he was the one causing it – heck yes, he was. People were starting to whisper and oh my goshes were filling the entire room.

“Yo Mingyu, what’s wrong?” Seokmin whispers, inching closer to Mingyu, not knowing what to do.

Soonyoung close on his side on the verge of having a panic attack as well. Having an A-list actor pass out crying in the middle of their coffee shop won’t be for good ratings!

“Mingyu-ya!” Seokmin said a little louder, startling Wonwoo from behind the counter. Maybe it wasn’t the volume that startled Wonwoo but nevertheless him dropping a cup at the sound of Seokmin’s voice was evident of how much he was shocked by it.

The whole café turned their eyes to Wonwoo and this time it was Wonwoo’s turn to freeze. His jaw dropped to gasp slightly before he finally uttered, “M-Mingyu?”

It really was him.

His Wonwoo-hyung was back.

Mingyu smiled fondly and traced the feature of the man sitting in front of him. He had finally remembered to breathe after Seokmin clapped his back. The café had also calm down a little after Soonyoung gave vague excuses of ‘Kim Mingyu was acting, shooting haha he’s so good at being immerse in his roles haha’ before simply moving to forcefully drag Wonwoo out from the counter, shoving him and Mingyu into a private booth near the back.

They’re now sitting in front of each other with warm cups of lattes on the table. Soonyoung insisted Wonwoo to take his break now and don’t bother coming back if he doesn’t get the ‘A-list actor to stop crying for him (and maybe an autograph if he can)’.

Wonwoo is biting his lips and looking at everywhere but Mingyu. He couldn’t take it, really. He shouldn’t feel this awkward around the younger but Mingyu is just staring so intensely he can almost feel his gaze piercing right through him.

The elder braces himself and looks up to see exactly what he fears, the round eyes just looking at him so fondly. Wonwoo scrunches his face and grabs the cup of latte, taking a sip as he tries to shrug the goosebumps off his body.

“Can you stop looking at me like that, it’s so weird,” Wonwoo breaks the odd tension around them.

Mingyu smiles even wider at that for some reason, “Are-Are you okay Wonwoo-hyung?”

Wonwoo raises his eyebrows slightly at the question but answers anyway, “Yes?”

“But I saw you at the hospital! I was sure it was you! Our eyes met, right? It was you, right?”

Wonwoo swallows before answering, clearing his throat a little like the latte did not help wash down the nerves he was feeling from facing with the younger, “Oh- yeah. No, it’s fine. I was just getting a checkup. For this job? You know we need those, to wor--”

“Where… hyung?” Mingyu says, a little quietly.

“Here? I… work… here?” Wonwoo says, because it is probably the most obvious thing since he was just behind the counter literally a few minutes ago.

But it probably wasn’t the answer Mingyu wanted because he’s still looking at him weirdly, so Wonwoo guesses he was asking where he has been instead, “I… was… studying overseas for a bit?” he says and looks at Mingyu expectantly. When he sees a slight change in the younger’s expression, he decides he was right and continues, “And I just got back, like really _just_ got back. So that’s why I couldn’t recognize you and stuff, I guess. There wasn’t much Korean media coverage where I was staying, I’m sorry… Gyu” Wonwoo clears his throat and says the last part so softly it comes out a whisper instead.

Mingyu’s grin grows impossibly larger at that. He’s about to let out a chuckle, a small laugh, a fucking giggle if he wasn’t so good at controlling himself. Embarrassing himself further won’t be cute and Wonwoo already feels sort of creeped out by his intense staring.

“What?”

The taller clamps his lips together, chucking down another huge grin, “You just called me Gyu.”

Wonwoo decides he didn’t want to give the younger the satisfaction after the entire drama he had caused with his dramatic ass so he scoffed, “No, I didn’t. My Korean is really sticky these days, I just slurred. You just misheard me--”

Mingyu cut him off again, “Wonwoo-hyung.”

“What?” Wonwoo replies immediately, a little annoyed because he keeps getting interrupted.

Mingyu’s eyes are locked on him. His smile… it’s morphed into something that, isn’t as annoying anymore. It’s turned into a slightly shy looking curve of his lips, a little more sincere.

“You’re very pretty.”

Wonwoo requires no effort to fight off returning that smile and clamps his mouth tighter as he gets off his seat and slams the door to the back room that has an ‘Employees Only’ on the tag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more i write this story the more depressed I get it's so sad lol why cant kids just not get sick sighh


	6. Will it stop now? These raindrops, these tears?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to them as grown ups. I'm trying to force the two timelines to meet somehow. Please bear with me,

** _Sept_2019_ **

It's been a few months since Wonwoo had started working in Diamonds. He got the fancy cert to make coffee and had immediately gotten the job through Junhui, an old contact of him. Fortunately, close friends with Soonyoung who had recommended him to his boss Seungcheol; the owner of the cafe he's currently working at. He's a permanent staff working under Soonyoung's direct supervision even if the latter is more like a part time worker now, coming in a couple of hours in the day due to his busy schedule amidst classes and projects. Still, Wonwoo is happy. There's an intern that clocks in once in a while so he's not too burdened. He's getting to enjoy his work and people are appreciating the things that he does so he feels great about his work.

Wonwoo dries his hands with a wipe on the towel next to the sink before turning around back to the register. He punches in the order from the man wearing the nice work suit before swiping the man’s card, passing him a receipt and telling him to wait a couple of minutes while he whips his order up.

The man nods and if Wonwoo catches the man look at him twice before stepping away from the counter, Wonwoo tries not to be too bothered.

He finishes up preparing the man’s orders; two Iced Americano and a buttered croissant, all to-go. Packs the snack in a paper bag and lids the cups of coffee before reaching over to hand it to the man waiting at the pick-up section.

“Here you go. Have a nice day,” Wonwoo says simply with his obligated smile.

“Uh, thanks,” the man doesn’t even give Wonwoo a smile but rather an awkward expression at that. He looks like he’s about to say something but he gives up and turns around to leave the store with his orders in hand.

The same man returns with the same exact order the next morning and Wonwoo gets a little bit iffy when he notices the man has his phone camera turned towards Wonwoo when he was preparing his drinks. The barista tries not to make too much fuss about it and finishes up his order as quick as possible. He’s still a little new to working here so he’s not exactly sure how to deal with this sort of situation so he makes a mental note to talk to Soonyoung about this later when the latter comes in after his class.

Wonwoo packs the man’s order up and calls for him, startling the man a little as he rather indiscreetly moves his phone away into his pockets.

He’s definitely taking pictures, Wonwoo thinks. He bites his lips and decides to save any remarks he could make without coming across as too rude without making sure that the man is really up to no good. The last thing he wants is to create a scene, especially when he’s the only one behind the counter right now. An intern will clock in for her shift later but it won’t be for another 30 minutes so he’s on his own now.

“Can I help you with anything else?” Wonwoo asks, with a little more meaning to his voice, as the man picks up his orders.

The man’s mouth drops slightly, “Uh, no, no. I’m good thanks,” he says, still as awkward as he turns around and walks off.

Wonwoo sighs and wonders if he’s being too overdramatic, but he shrugs it off. It’s only two times, the man probably doesn’t have any ill intention anyways.

But it doesn’t stop at two times. It happens a third, fourth, fifth and sixth time. All throughout the course of the past three weeks. And it’s the same order, the same time in the morning and the man is wearing a different suit each time so he thinks this guy must be an office worker working somewhere near the campus or something if he could drop in to get coffee at 8.50AM so casually.

And the most obvious part is, on the days when Wonwoo isn’t behind the counter and on the floor cleaning up or something, the man actually sits down for a couple of minutes and still thinks he’s discreet with his act.

The recording or picture-taking is so obvious and Wonwoo is getting a little sick of it.

Today Wonwoo is behind the counter and he’s packing the man’s croissant into a paper bag but before he closes it, he whips his head around quickly and stares directly into the man’s camera lenses, catching him in the act as the man pulls his phone away a little clumsily.

“Sir, can I help you?” Wonwoo says, giving the man his usual not-impressed-expressionless face, hoping to make the man a little scared of him.

“Uh, no, I’m good.” Same reply as always and Wonwoo doesn’t miss how the man is trying to pretend like he’s not caught.

Wonwoo scoffs a little as he closes the paper bag up harshly and place it onto the counter, “I really don’t want to be rude here sir, but can you not pretend like I don’t see what you have been doing? I’ve been really patient and frankly saying it’s just really uncomfortable for me so can you stop?”

The man is a little taken aback as he catches his bottom lip with his teeth. Wonwoo wasn’t being loud, so the rest of the café didn’t hear what he had said but it was loud enough to come off as enough of a warning that the man is fidgeting a little in his spot.

“Here’s your order, I’d appreciate it if you take it and go,” Wonwoo says with a snark in his tone.

The man looks so perplexed as he groans a little and sighs loudly with his eyes closed, looking so tired and sick of it, “Look, I’m sorry.”

That kind of ticked Wonwoo off because if anyone should be sick of something it should be him sick of this man’s charades. Nevertheless, he tries to pay attention to whatever the alleged stalker is trying to tell him, but his hand is ready on his phone so he could dial up Soonyoung or Seungcheol and get them to run here and drag this man out themselves.

The man sighs again before he continues, “Listen. It’s not for me,” the man says and Wonwoo isn’t lying if he says it’s throwing him off some more. “This is fucking annoying for me too, okay? I’m sorry I’m doing this and I get why you’re upset, I mean who would be comfortable with someone just outright filming you without consent, right?”

Wonwoo doesn’t get it. What is the man talking about? If it’s not for him then who is he recording for?

“But I kind of have no choice. You don’t know how much of an annoying brat he can be like. There’s really no way around him sometimes. He literally would not get up on his ass and go to work if I didn’t get a picture of you-”

Oh no. Wonwoo has an idea of who it could be, “What? Who are you talking about?”

The shorter male in front of Wonwoo sighs yet again before continuing, (at this point Wonwoo thinks the man is probably more tired than him because of the sighs he has been letting out) “My name is Lee Jihoon,” the man takes out his card and places it onto the counter for Wonwoo to take, “I’m Kim Mingyu’s (_slave_) manager.”

Wonwoo’s mouth drops open. But he’s somehow not too surprised. _That idiot._

The barista rolls his eyes and runs his hair through his head, “What the fuck?”

“I know. This is ridiculous and I’m sorry but I’m only here on his annoying request and I’m kind of responsible to make sure the man’s head runs straight,” Jihoon says apologetically.

“Well his head is _not_ screwed on straight if he needs a picture of me to function then, what the fuck is with him?”

“Hey, _you_ tell me. I’ve known Kim Mingyu since he was like 10 and I’ve never seen him so out of it like this. He’s so freaking distracted and it’s Kim Mingyu we’re talking about, he’s always distracted, but never like this- -”

“Are you actually saying this is _my_ fault?” Wonwoo says in disbelief.

“By any obligations of legality, I’m saying no, but as his close friend, that’s what the signs are telling me, at least. And if you’re the cure to his weird obsessions I’m sorry but I’m kind of just doing my job.”

Wonwoo scoffs, “You gotta be kidding-- well if he’s so caught up in me then where the fuck _is_ he? Why isn’t he here himself?”

“He technically can’t. He’s busy with his filming schedule,” Jihoon looks at his wristwatch before continuing, “And so am I,” Jihoon picks up the orders and turns to leave.

“Wait, what? So do you expect me to just deal with this…” Wonwoo thinks of what word he’s looking for before settling for just the right one, “_harassment?_ And be fine with it?”

Jihoon laughs a little, “Honestly as much as I hate this too, I have a feeling this will only clear out if you set things straight with him yourself. I am after all just working for him. You have my number. If you want to, I don’t know, maybe jab him in the face while you’re at it, I’d be more than happy to set you up so just give me a call then. And oh, don’t worry, we’ll be in Austria for the next couple of weeks so I guess I’ll be out of your face for a bit. I was here today to get some spare footage in case he acts up when we’re there anyway. Thanks, Wonwoo-sshi. I hope I’ll get a call from you soon.”

The chime from the door closing snaps Wonwoo from his thoughts. _What the fuck was that??_

Wonwoo turns to the card and hastily saves Jihoon’s number in his phone before crumpling it up and throws it comically into the trashcan with an exaggerated angry growl, knowing no one else in the café will notice him now, “Kim Mingyu!!!”

Wonwoo doesn’t call Jihoon and quite frankly he’d forgotten about the whole exchange they had 3 weeks ago if not for said man appearing in front of the register in front of him again this afternoon, “You.” Wonwoo says with a furrow in his brows. “You’re a little late today?” He asks although not really interested in the answer.

Jihoon replies his expression with a nonchalant look, “Yeah. Let me just get this out of the way real quick-” the shorter male brings his phone up to Wonwoo’s face and snaps a picture as fast as Wonwoo could say Americano.

“W-wh?” Wonwoo was too late to avert his face from being captured by the man. Jihoon snickers a little as the barista returns to look at him, now knowing he’s already succeeded, “Dude? Can you not.”

Jihoon just shrugs.

Wonwoo shakes his head, unamused. “I thought you said you weren’t going to do this anymore.”

“I did not say that. I said I’ll be back in a couple of weeks, didn’t I?”

Wonwoo grunts. “Asshole.”

“You’re being kind of rude to your customer there, don’t you think?”

“Me rude? You’re… _more_ fucking rude! You literally just walk in and straight up shove a camera onto my face without greeting, _without consent!_”

“Would you like me to ask how you are first before I take your picture then?”

“No! I’d rather you not take my picture at all,” Wonwoo complains.

“No can do, sorry. It’s been a tough morning for Mingyu. We just got back from Austria yesterday and he’s already shooting today. He’s gonna need this to get through the week at least.”

The thought of Mingyu being completely exhausted, draped over the couch rolls into Wonwoo’s mind. It must be tough. Being in front of the camera all day, traveling all over just to be in front of the camera again. But he shakes the thought away because whatever the reason, this isn’t it at all. Sending his manager to take pictures of some guy he had just met about a month ago, for the first time too, without consent, without notice, without warning, so that he could recharge? It’s fucking rude that he hadn’t even shown himself since too. This is getting borderline fucked up.

“Is that supposed to make me go ‘Oh! Okay then! Snap away!’ because no, tell him to _fuck off_.”

“Wow, you have such a potty mouth,” Jihoon says calmly.

“Yes. So I hope you relay that to Mr Kim Mingyu so that he stops this.”

“You know that won’t happen. He’d be ecstatic that you actually left a message for him instead.”

“Jihoon, please.” Wonwoo rolls his eyes and groans.

“You remember my name. Great,” Jihoon eyes the menu despite already knowing he’s going to get the same thing as always anyway. “You know what I want.”

Wonwoo groans again because he does. He taps the screen and rings up Jihoon’s order before moving over to make the drinks himself. He does everything quickly and places the completed order onto the counter, still frowning at Jihoon, “Okay. Now get out.”

Jihoon actually smiles a little (or is it a smirk), before grabbing the items, “You know this isn’t going to end any time soon. Give me that call so I can arrange him to meet with you.”

Wonwoo just waves his hand, making gestures to shoo Jihoon away towards the exit.

Snap!

Before Wonwoo could realize again, Jihoon had taken another picture of him.

“Dude!” Wonwoo yells.

Jihoon waves without even looking at Wonwoo as he exits the shop.

The barista groans as Soonyoung comes in from the back door, “What’s up with you?” he ties the apron around his waist as he walks over.

“Kim fucking Mingyu is what’s up.” Wonwoo grits his teeth as he takes out his phone from his back pocket begrudgingly, “Soonyoung, I’m taking Friday off.”

“O…kay?” Soonyoung says a little hesitantly, studying the fumes coming out of the taller’s ears. He steps back as he curls his fingers to his chest, pretending to be terrified of Wonwoo, “You’re not going to like, hurt him, right?”

“Oh, he better pray I don’t,” Wonwoo says as he hits send on the text addressed to Jihoon.

** _Won Lost_ **

_This is Wonwoo. Tell the fucker I’ll meet him at Diamonds on Friday._

_I know he’s busy whatever, who fucking isn’t? I’ll leave the when up to him because I’m a considerate human being._

** _Wooz_ **

_Didn’t expect you to hit me on KaTalk instead._

_I’ll take a look at his schedule._

** _Won Lost_ **

_I don’t care, make it work or I’m suing for infringement of privacy._

** _Wooz_ **

_Well, considerate human being, pushing filming schedules around affect a whole boat of crew fyi._

_But you chose a good date, I’ll free his afternoon so he’ll shoot on the other hours of the day but I will need you to come to us instead. Mingyu can’t be more than 20 minutes away from the shoot site._

_I will set up a ride if you need one._

** _Won Lost_ **

_The things I do…_

_Don’t bother with the ride, I’ll deal with it. Just text me the place._

** _Wooz_ **

_Thanks._

_And fyi he’s totally going to pester me to give up your KaTalk ID once he finds out I have it_

** _Won Lost_ **

_Are the pictures not enough as violation of my privacy? Don’t._

** _Wooz_ **

_Fyi though, it’s so refreshing to find someone else who types like proper human being when texting._

_In an alternate reality we might be great friends._

** _Won Lost_ **

_Doubt it. Just text me the address and tell me when._


	7. I don’t want to get wet with rain and tremble with cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slip into the actor lyfe

** _Oct_2019_ **

The address Jihoon gave him was a 40-minute bus ride from Wonwoo’s work place, which was another 20-minute train ride from his apartment. He had spent an hour getting to this part of the town. He punches himself in his mind for not accepting Jihoon’s offer for a ride. The man sighs as he walks towards the entrance of the building, shows the security a picture Jihoon sent to him that would grant him an entry, walks over towards the direction he was shown to and stops once he reaches the apparent reception space, texting Jihoon of his arrival.

To his surprise he didn’t get any text from an unknown number claiming to be Mingyu over the past few days since his exchange with the manager on Wednesday, so he believes Jihoon did him a good deed by hiding it from Mingyu (although technically it’s not a good deed it’s literally the right thing to do???). He stands beside the wall near the front desk, trying to not be in anyone’s way as he waits for Jihoon.

He didn’t pay much attention to the surrounding when he went inside but from what he had read about on the reviews of this place was that this warehouse-like building is apparently the place where a bunch of dramas were being shot or has been shot at. It’s not like those TV station buildings that he’d seen once or twice when getting through the city but more like a sort of compartmented housing for a bunch of sets and studios. Wonwoo guesses Mingyu probably has a shoot in one of the sets then.

The reception space after the entrance is huge but the amount of people there is almost filling the space up. Some are running around carrying something in their hands, disappearing in the hallways Wonwoo guesses would lead them to the sets and studios. Some of the people that are there, staffs or crews maybe, are conversing and almost arguing with each other with bunches of paper in their hands.

Wonwoo eyes the place some more as he notices the huge logo on the wall leading up to the hallways; SVT Specialized Videotape Technology. He wonders where he’s seen that before but shrugs the thought away when he sees Jihoon appearing from the hallway, slightly jogging up to Wonwoo.

“Wonwoo-sshi!” Jihoon says as he draws in closer, sticks his hand out for Wonwoo to take. “Thanks for coming.”

Wonwoo eyes Jihoon suspiciously because of the polite gesture but takes his hand anyway, giving the man a firm handshake, “Yeah. Are you actually being polite with me right now?”

“Hey to my defense, I’ve always been polite. It’s just that we met in a rather bad situation.” Jihoon says as he directs Wonwoo in the direction they need to head to, “He’s still on set inside. Let me bring you in.”

Wonwoo hesitates a little but follows along, “Uh, okay. I guess.”

He was actually going to disagree and demand Mingyu to just step out here so he can punch the guy and scare him off so he doesn’t bother him anymore. But he couldn’t deny being more than a little curious at how things behind the scenes look like so he decides following Jihoon into the hallway won’t be too bad of an idea. He can still punch Mingyu on set if he wants to.

They walk in silence until Wonwoo looks over to one of the spaces they had pass by. Through the glass fixing he could see the studio set was just an empty plain white hall but there was a tall contraption holding a dark piece of what seems like paper or cloth in the background, all the way to ground. There were a couple of trees at various height framing the background. The dimly lit light around the set made it look like they were in a night scenery somehow. There were a bunch of people surrounding the whole thing, but not within the outline of the piece of background, holding all the filming equipment Wonwoo doesn’t know the names of. And then there was a couple standing under one umbrella, in the rain standing in the middle of it all.

“Is that… fake rain?” Wonwoo asks.

Jihoon turns to look at the direction Wonwoo was turned to, “Yeah. That’s SVT’s special effects set. They can make it snow and hail and things. Honestly, they can shoot things like that outside but sometimes if it’s just close-up scenes and stuff, bringing the whole crew out can add more to the cost so.”

“Is that for Mingyu’s?”

“I don’t think so” Jihoon shrugs and maintains his pace with Wonwoo following behind as they walk among the light stream of people around the hallway. There were a bunch of people entering and exiting through adjacent doors but if any of them turned out to be celebrities Wonwoo doubts he would know them anyway so he just keeps walking.

They reach an open studio located right after the first corner they took, this one’s way bigger than the previous spaces, but there were also a bunch of smaller sets set up within the studio.

Jihoon stops in his tracks upon stepping into the space and signals for Wonwoo to halt as well. “We’re here,” he says in a quiet voice. “They’re still shooting so keep it down.”

Wonwoo says nothing and nods.

He looks up ahead towards the sea of people surrounding the heavily lit set towards the end. The crowd scatters a bit as the scene in front of them unfold so Wonwoo could catch glimpses of the actors being so versed in their roles. There was a female wearing a red coat with a light pink blouse inside and a black pencil skirt. He could tell this was a work place sort of scene from the set up around her. Wonwoo doesn’t see much but he could see the woman was pretty.

He spots Mingyu just then.

The tall idiot was wearing a suit, further confirming Wonwoo of his workplace scene theory. He sees Mingyu say something, looking frustrated as he walks over the woman who has her back towards him. He approaches her and continues on rambling things Wonwoo couldn’t hear because he is too far away from them anyway.

Mingyu is now just a step away from her body. She still has her back to him and she looks like she was about to cry. If Wonwoo doesn’t know they were acting he would buy the argument (he thinks is) going on in front of him right now. She’s a good actress. Mingyu is too because he looks like he’s in a similar state of pain with her as he reaches out to hold on to her shoulder, turning her around so she faces him.

Wonwoo gets a weird feeling knocking at his gut when he sees Mingyu make contact with the woman. He decides it’s the lack of breakfast and his hunger finally demanding his attention as lunch hour is approaching, it is 12pm now after all.

The scene continues as the two actors converse with each other back and forth, the woman already leaking in tears. As the words coming out of Mingyu’s mouth seem like it’s getting more heated, more aggressive, the woman’s hand come up to slap him in the face. Quick and loud. It was so loud. So loud, the sound bounced of the huge space.

Damn. That must’ve hurt.

Wonwoo would’ve felt a slight inch of sorry for the tall actor if he wasn’t thinking of punching the man in the face all throughout his journey here. It was then he finally realized he doesn’t even know what sort of drama or movie Mingyu is shooting. Must be an angsty romance.

Well, he doesn’t care anyway. When Mingyu gets here he’ll give the man a piece of his mind and return home to enjoy the rest of his day off.

Mingyu’s face turn to the woman with an expression mixed between sad and desperate. It was so heartbreaking to look at that it made Wonwoo avert his eyes for a second. That particular look in his face reminded him of a similar look in those same pair of eyes in the past. But he shrugged it off.

“Cut!” a voice yelled and there were short applauses filling the room as the crowd around the set dispersed a little more, some moving into the set to move things around and out of the room.

Wonwoo returns his eyes to the set, to the two actors and a man wearing a bucket hat who had just entered the set talking and laughing. He brings his eyes to really look at Mingyu now that the absence of the heavy crowd allows him to.

The suit he was wearing made him look even taller if it was even any more possible. He looked so slender but his wide shoulders really balanced out his proportion, overall making him look just outright _handsome_. It’s not rocket science. Wonwoo could admit at least that.

Mingyu’s now dark brown hair is tousled in all the right angles, his usual side-swept bangs curving effortlessly, framing his face, his sharp and prominent cheekbones all the more highlighted when he laughs at the things the man with the bucket hat, probably the director was saying.

It’s no wonder he’s so apparently popular and in high demand. Mingyu was definitely a sight to behold. The package is even more complete when he is actually a talented actor. Wonwoo thinks of how far the younger had leapt to when Wonwoo is just…

Only when Mingyu’s eyes finally move from the bucket hat man, catching Wonwoo’s amidst his wide grin that shows off his canines does Wonwoo realize he was staring at the actor. It’s bad enough that he couldn’t avert his eyes fast enough to notice Mingyu visibly brighten upon seeing him. Wonwoo ignores the voice in the back of his head scolding him for being so obvious of his staring. He tells himself he wasn’t actually staring, but the fact that he had a whole minute to look in the direction of the set but he couldn’t recall even a single feature of the actress or the bucket hat man, or anything happening around them further proves to him that he was basically just staring at Mingyu the whole time.

Jihoon taps his arm, knocking Wonwoo out of his thoughts, “Be easy on him. He’s been shooting everyday non-stop since two months ago. He wouldn’t admit to me he’s exhausted but, yeah.”

Wonwoo doesn’t get to reply as Jihoon walked away almost immediately after he’d said it.

He looks up to see Mingyu basically running up to him. He’s still wearing that massive grin where his canines poke through and Wonwoo can’t help but think the younger looks like a puppy with the way he’s running excitedly in his way.

He could practically see Mingyu’s tail wagging.

Wonwoo doesn’t know why he’s starting to get a little nervous because he’s taking a huge inhale of air. He convinces himself to get a grip and finish what he’s here to do.

“Wonwoo-hyung!” The actor halts right in front of him.

Okay here goes. Just say it, maybe punch him and leave.

“Kim Mingyu! C-can you sto-”

“Let’s eat lunch!” Mingyu interrupts Wonwoo as soon as he’d opened his mouth. Dragging the elder by his wrist out through another door, away from where he had come from.

“W-wait! Mingyu-”

“I really wanted to take you to a good restaurant or something but Jihoon told me I’m not allowed to go anywhere far but that’s okay because I know just the place! It’s a Japanese place, it’s more like an _izakaya_ but they totally have heavier menu too if you’re really hungry-” Mingyu was talking non-stop

His grip on Wonwoo’s wrist is really strong too. It wasn’t hurting him but it’s not weak enough for him to slip himself out of, “Mingyu!”

“I hope you’re hungry hyung because their food is really good you’re going to want to eat a looot so you might wish you have a bigger tummy-”

Mingyu isn’t even listening to him. He’s just rambling about the place and how good the yakitori sauce is but Wonwoo is uncomfortable. He’s being dragged against his will here. (Even if yakitori does sound good.) Wonwoo tries to pull his hand away from the younger’s grip but it was really firm. He clenches his fist and brings his weight all to his feet so he could snatch his hand off from the taller’s hold.

“Kim Mingyu!” Wonwoo says a little too loudly as he succeeds in pulling his hand away from said man’s grip. People around them were beginning to throw glances their way because Wonwoo might’ve been yelling after all.

Oh no, he wasn’t trying to cause a scene in front of a bunch of people but now he’s got their attention for sure. People must be wondering if they were having an argument or something and that Wonwoo is the unstable one here to wreck chaos amidst Mingyu’s workplace. (They might not be too far off but whatever) Wonwoo keeps his eyes glued to the ground as he rubs his right wrist that was just in Mingyu’s tight hold seconds ago. Snatching it away too harshly kind of made it a little sore.

“Hyung?” Mingyu’s eyes was on him. He looks worried and maybe a little guilty.

Wonwoo clears his throat, “Sorry.”

“No, I am. Sorry. I…” Mingyu looks at the elder’s left hand that was rubbing his right wrist, easing the slight sore he has, “Did I hurt you?” the taller looks apologetically as he steps an inch closer to stand right in front of the elder, his height completely blocking Wonwoo from being able to see the surrounding.

If Wonwoo didn’t think of Mingyu as a mere obsessive prick, he might’ve seen the gesture as Mingyu actually shielding him from the looks thrown at him.

Wonwoo takes a step back and shakes his head, “I’m fine. You didn’t, don’t worry.”

“No, I really am. I didn’t listen, I was just a little too excited. Sorry, hyung.” Mingyu flashes Wonwoo a small smile and gives him what Wonwoo guesses are supposed to be his rendition of puppy eyes.

It makes Wonwoo scoff a chuckle at the ridiculous look he has on his face.

“Can I please have lunch with you, hyung?” Mingyu says still with that awful pout.

It makes Wonwoo cringe. He really doesn’t want to deal with this awkward air between them so he says, “No!”

Mingyu looks like a kicked puppy now but Wonwoo is stronger. Who cares if he’s kicking a puppy! If the puppy is Kim Mingyu!

“Mingyu. You need to stop. The reason I’ve come all the way here is to tell you to stop, fucking, bothering me. I don’t know how you really are as person but I doubt you’re that childish so I assume you are capable of stopping this. You’re even creating trouble for Jihoon too.” Wonwoo lets it all out.

Great. Now Mingyu looks like a kicked puppy that has fallen down the stairs.

Wonwoo sighs because Mingyu isn’t answering him.

“Mingy-”

“Almost two months, hyung.” Mingyu interrupts him. Wonwoo seriously need to teach Mingyu about interrupting people when they are trying to speak.

“What?”

Mingyu steps into his space again and this time he doesn’t even look like he’s trying to tease Wonwoo. He leans in and wraps his arms around Wonwoo’s shoulders. Rests his head on the side of the smaller’s head.

_What?_

Wonwoo is too shocked to even push him away.

Mingyu exhales loudly as if a burden had just been relieved from his chest. “I’ve been wanting to meet you again after that day but I just didn’t have the time. I couldn’t make the time. I… just needed to know you were okay, and you were really there.”

The elder blinks. He’s so caught up in the moment. The smell of Mingyu’s cologne, his shampoo, his fabric softener, his voice, the warmth from his body pressing against him, everything is so intense and they’re engulfing his every sense. Completely killing his thought process.

“I needed to know that I wasn’t dreaming again…” Mingyu says as he pulls away slowly and stepping a step back to look at Wonwoo. His face wearing a small smile and his eyes seemed as if they were carrying something along the lines of endearment.

If Wonwoo didn’t know any better it had felt like he was actually playing the part of the woman in the previous scene he witnessed. Mingyu wearing the same hurt expression he had before when he was acting, _and_ _this was real life._

Wonwoo is frozen in his place. His eyes blown wide. But he’s lying if he says he’s not already missing the warmth and the comfort of being in the hold of this fine specimen.

Mingyu sighs, “Sorry for doing that. I… just really missed you, hyung” the taller man looks down and bring his hands up to play with his own fingers again. Is he… being awkward?

“I wanted to do that the first time I saw you but I thought you might not like it,” Mingyu clamps his lips.

“Well who says I like it now?” Wonwoo inserts.

Mingyu looks sorry again. Wonwoo rolls his eyes. The only reason Wonwoo isn’t punching this guy already for breaching his privacy and is basically harassing him at this point is that they are in public. Okay, Wonwoo probably would have done it anyway if he hadn’t realized he’d probably hurt _his_ hand punching Mingyu instead. The man was built like rock! Wonwoo is all the surer of that because he’s actually _been_ in the man’s embrace—

“Look!” Wonwoo begins. He thinks of shutting Mingyu out and just tell him to fuck off again but he’s not that horrible of a human being. Jihoon _had_ said Mingyu has had it rough lately so maybe he should just go along with this? Besides, denying Kim Mingyu of this meal might result in even more harassing. You just never know with the guy.

“Okay.”

“Okay?!” Mingyu squeals.

“Okay.” Wonwoo nods a little, clearly defeated.

“Okay what?” Mingyu looks a little confused.

“Why were you so excited if you didn’t know what I was agreeing to?”

“I don’t know, that was your first positive response since the beginning of our conversation so-”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and groans, “Well don’t make me take it back-”

“Okay, okay! What are you agreeing to?” Mingyu asks innocently.

“This lunch. That’s it!” Wonwoo emphasizes. “And I’m only doing this for Jihoon because he requested that I don’t hurt you too bad.” The elder says, trying to find reason for his own actions.

Mingyu’s grin is back and it’s wider than ever. “I’ll take it.”

“But!” Wonwoo turns to glare at Mingyu. “You need to promise to never make Jihoon bother me again.”

Mingyu paused before nodding once, “That works!” He says with a slight smirk. Wonwoo wonders what it meant but he shrugged it off.

He’s a little, only a tiny, little bit disappointed at how Mingyu just straight up agreed to stopping his charades. Frankly he thought the younger would whine some more seeing how he seemed so obsessive priorly. Maybe Kim Mingyu is decent after all.

Or maybe Wonwoo worded things poorly.

“_Technically,_ you said not to make Jihoon bother you. So _I’m_ here instead!” Mingyu gives Wonwoo his best smile with both his arms on his hips.

Wonwoo sighs loudly before turning away from the register, “I’m not doing this. You take his order,” the elder rolls his eyes and walks to the countertop, pushing Soonyoung in his place.

“Hyung!” Mingyu whines.

Wonwoo ignores the man and turns his back to the sink to wash some utensils instead, making the water run heavily so it was loud enough to block off the younger’s whining.

Mingyu pouts and gives up. Turning his attention to Soonyoung looking amused behind the counter. “Hello, Soonyoung-hyung.”

“Hey, Mingyu. Sorry about that, I guess. What can I get you?” Soonyoung asks.

“Americano and… a slice of cake of the day, I guess.” He eyes the small chalkboard prepped up beside the register, the one with writings on today’s specialty and everything.

“Red Velvet? It’s really tasty, good choice.” Soonyoung says as he taps in Mingyu’s order. “By the way, did Minnie tell you about Jun and Chan?”

“Yeah he called me the other day. Crazy small world, right?” Mingyu says as he hands his card for Soonyoung.

Turns out Junhui and Chan was in Soonyoung’s circle. Junhui shares a bunch of classes with Soonyoung while Chan is part of his dance crew. Chan is like Soonyoung’s little brother because he takes care of the younger a lot throughout their time in the same dance club. Chan is also cousins with Seungcheol, hence how Soonyoung started to work part-time in Diamonds under him before. After a year of working with Seungcheol he had entrusted Soonyoung to manage the branch he was opening up within the university campus, seeing how it would make it easier for Soonyoung to commute and he could watch over Chan easily when he wants as well.

So when Junhui found out Wonwoo was coming back and needed a place to work, he suggested for him to take up barista training for a bit and just work with Soonyoung since he would need extra pairs of hands anyway.

“By the way, _Minnie_?” Mingyu asks, raising one of his brows teasingly.

Soonyoung visibly reddens, “Oh, yeah. Yeah.” He smiles a little and Mingyu nods knowingly.

Seokmin’s got it after all.

While Soonyoung is working on Mingyu’s orders, Wonwoo had stepped out of the counter to clean up a few tables. Mingyu’s eyes follow him around the café.

The café is empty save for a couple sitting near the front of the café. They’re already looking at him so he thanks himself for coming in at an unbusy time of the day. He wouldn’t get this leisure of staring at Wonwoo walking around the café and wiping tables if there were a bunch of people surrounding him asking for pictures or autographs.

“Okay, here’s your card and receipt. Wait a minute or two and I’ll _make_ Wonwoo serve you your order, so just sit wherever.” Soonyoung says before he steps back and makes his way to plating Mingyu’s order.

Mingyu walks towards the seating area close to the counter so that he could take glimpses of Wonwoo making him his coffee. But Wonwoo is still wiping a table across the café so he’ll be patient. He can’t believe Jihoon got to see this for himself all this time. Wonwoo looked amazing even when he was wiping tables. Mingyu sighs.

A chime of the bell suggested a person had entered into the café and Wonwoo quickly straighten himself to bow a little, greeting the customer, “Welcome to-”

Before Mingyu could turn to look at the customer, there was a small tap on his shoulders, “Excuse me, Kim Mingyu-sshi.”

It was a young girl. Maybe a student here. She was with another girl beside her, they were holding what seemed like a notebook and an uncapped pen in their hands. The must want an autograph or something.

“I’m sorry for touching you, but I had been calling you since you had sat down…” she says shyly.

Has Mingyu been so focused on Wonwoo that he didn’t hear her. Heck he didn’t even notice her before. Were they in the café this whole time?

“No, no, it’s okay.” Mingyu says with a smile.

“May we please have your signature?” the other girl finally speaks, a little excitedly.

“Of course,” Mingyu brings his hands to receive the notebook and pen from the two girls.

He signs a page on both of the books and caps the pen. Returns them to their hands with a smile and waves them off.

When he returns his gaze on Wonwoo he was surprised. Wonwoo was still standing beside the table he had been cleaning before but he has his arms crossed and beside him there was now a man, who looks like he’s in his late 20s. The man was talking to Wonwoo with his hands pressed together, as if he was begging for something from him.

Mingyu was taken aback. Who is that? He’s making Wonwoo uncomfortable and it’s evident in Wonwoo’s face how he’s not having this. Mingyu looks over to the counters to see Soonyoung with his back turned to all of them so he probably hadn’t notice what was going on.

All control Mingyu had then flew out the window when the man reached over to grab Wonwoo by the shoulders and gripped his arms. Mingyu got up in less than a second, not caring about his chair falling backwards as he strides over to the pair and lands a punch straight onto the man’s jaw.

The man falls on his back, bringing along a couple of chairs and a table to fall with him.

The two fangirls from before shrieked at the scene and Soonyoung finally turned around at the sound of the furniture crashing.

“Mingyu!!” Wonwoo yells with a gasp. He looks at Mingyu with disbelief in his face.

“What the fuck?” the man says as he tries to bring himself to sit up.

The actor was frozen. He couldn’t believe he had done that, “He was touching you and you looked upset--” Mingyu says quickly.

“Oh fuck!” Wonwoo says when he finally moves as he leaned down to help the man up on his feet.

Apparently Wonwoo looks just fine being in close proximity with this man and it’s confusing Mingyu now. It’s also making Mingyu iffy, “D-do you know this person, hyung?” he asks, only now realizing what he may have done.

The elder glares at him before continuing, “Get the fuck out.”

Wonwoo’s voice was deep, and angry. He had sounded angry. That was the first time Wonwoo had sounded angry. He’d sounded annoyed before but this was different and it’s making Mingyu a little scared.

The elder drapes the man’s arms over his shoulders as he helped the man walk off towards the back room.

Soonyoung had finally walked over to where they were and had his hands on his mouth, covering his gasp. He looks at Mingyu and shakes his head slowly.

“That was our boss.”


	8. Some day the cold rain will become warm tears and fall down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Konnichihuahua! It's been sometime! Don't worry I still haven't given up on this fic!!<33 This is my baby~~
> 
> EDIT UPDATE: This fic was revamped on 5/4/2020. I edited the chapters and combined some of them so that it's a little more balanced. Some chapters were oddly short and some were long so I adjusted that. To anyone who have been reading this fic before, the new chapters will start from this chapter. And I also added the month and year at the beginning of each chapter so that it's a little easier to process :D
> 
> Enjoy!

** _Oct_2019_ **

“You can call me by my stage name, Mingyu. Or my real name, Kim Mingyu or, you know, Fuck-up Gyu works too,” the brunette sighs as he flops on the couch. Spreading his long limbs so that it’s drapes over the couch lazily. “Or pfft, I don’t know, maybe Dumbass now that we’re at it.”

“Hey, don’t be too hard on yourself, Gyu,” Jihoon says as he closes the fridge door and places the cold bottle of water he took from it onto the counter. “You were always a dumbass anyway, so it’s okay-”

“Shut up, hyung!” Mingyu lashes with a sulk in his tone.

“I can’t believe you punched Seungcheol-hyung,” Seokmin walks over to sit on the couch next to Mingyu.

“I can’t believe I did too,” the tall brunette curls himself up in a ball this time, bringing his arms and legs to fold against his own chest. “I am supposed to be an advocate for anti-violence and stuff, I have no idea what the hell got into me?”

Jihoon sits himself up on the barstool and says nonchalantly as he begins to chow down on his takeout, “Oh, I don’t know, OSD maybe? Obsessive Stalker Disorder,” sarcasm thick off his tongue.

“Thanks, hyung,” Mingyu rolls his eyes and pouts even more.

Seokmin just laughs and pats Mingyu on the arm, “I know Seungcheol-hyung very well, I’ll talk to him. He’s very understanding, I’m sure he’ll understand why you suddenly landed a fist on his face for touching _your boy_,” the student giggles.

“Don’t fucking tease me Seok. And he’s not _my _boy, it’s Wonwoo-hyung, I’d stand up for him anytime.” Mingyu says with a snark in his tone but it just sounds like a puppy barking.

“Or what, you gonna land one on me too?” Seokmin puts his hands up teasingly. “So much for anti-violence, Gyu. The adverts company better take back their offers on promoting you as the advocate, tsk tsk tsk,” he shakes his head.

“_That_, I do not like,” Jihoon suddenly says. “This issue cannot touch your paycheck, which also includes _my_ paycheck by the way, which is the only thing that matters, so you better not let this get bigger than it is. You better speak to that Seungcheol guy you fisted.”

“Ew, hyung, I don’t think that’s how you use that term,” Mingyu says, his face contorted in disgust.

“Definitely not,” Seokmin’s face mirrors the same ‘yikes’ expression.

“Whatever,” Jihoon ignores the two younger men and just shoves another spoonful of mixed rice into his mouth. Munching while he gets the words out, “Ask for forgiveness from that guy before anything happens. When I searched up the coffee shop the other day, I found out he’s quite the hotshot in the business district industry, so it’s going to be a plus to have him on our good side anyway.”

Mingyu groans, “Damn it.”

Seokmin’s brows lifted, “Wait, you searched up the café, hyung?”

“Duh, I don’t step into an establishment with no information on my back.”

“He’s got the real OCD,” Mingyu whispers to Seokmin who just nods, hands unconsciously reaching out to smooth out wrinkles on his shirt a bit.

Suddenly hit with a realization Mingyu jumps a little, squeezing Seokmin’s arms with his hands, “Oh gosh! What do you think he’ll ask from me? Is he going to make me get down on my knees-“

“Ew, what? No! He’s not that kind of perso-”

“I don’t mean that! You know, prostrate!?”

“Oh, maybe… not…?”

“Public announcement? Public apology? Money? Oh no! Is he going to ask for one of my assets since he’s a smart business guy and stuff?” Mingyu says in a panic.

“What?! No, maybe not-Wait, you have assets?” Seokmin looks surprised.

“Yeah.”

“Wow,” he says in disbelief.

“Why?”

“Because you can’t even handle your coffee machine, Gyu,” Seokmin says, flat and Jihoon snorts in the background.

“Hey! Yes I can! I just haven’t gotten the time to figure it out yet since I _just_ got it.”

“Yeah, ‘_just’_ being about two years ago,” Jihoon comments and this time Seokmin snorts.

“Don’t worry too much Gyu. The most he’ll probably ask you to do is maybe promote his coffee shops or something. He’s not a diabolical person you know, he’s still my hyung.” Seokmin says, reaching for the remote, turning on the tv.

Mingyu just sighs and thinks of all the worst possible outcomes from his mishap. While some of them include him going broke and losing all his fame, most of them included what one person will think of him after. Jeon Wonwoo. That man must hate him so much right now.

He groans loudly again. Him and Wonwoo were just starting to become friends, maybe, a little, about 0.1 percent chance maybe, but he just had to ruin it by punching the man’s boss. He needs to fix things _quick._

Seokmin fishes his phone out of his pocket and waves it a little, “Whenever you’re ready.”

××××

Fall was coming close to ending and the rain is still relentlessly falling. Weather forecast predicts a continuous streak of rain and strong winds that will continue all the way throughout winter. Reminding everyone to dress warm and prepare for the negative temperature and impossibly colder nights awaiting them in winter.

Wonwoo is freezing. He buries his nose in the tall collar of his inner sweater, pulling the outer, thicker coats closer around himself as he skips over the wet puddles on the street, making his way towards Diamonds. It was still dark out, save for the few shops near them that had always open as early as their shop. Wonwoo passes by the few bakeries that were just setting up and a small 24-hour grocery mart all on the street leading up to his destination.

Once he steps off the pavement and onto the zebra crossing to make his way across the street, darkness engulfs him again. _Thank you Seungcheol_ for renting a building so isolated from the other shops and surrounding street lights that he has to walk about half a mile in darkness to reach their building.

He increases his pace because getting kidnapped and murdered on a dark street is not on his to-do list today. Wonwoo exhales a puff of air once he reaches the front door of their coffee shop.

He dug inside his backpack for the keys and reaches out to hold the handle. He almost flinched at the feeling of the cold metal against his own shivering fingers. He clicks his tongue and wonders what the appeal of having fancy big metal handles on doors are. When it’s cold the metal is basically frozen, when the weather is hot, holding the handle can be compared to touching outright lava.

It really reminds him of the constantly cold handles on the doors of the care facility. The one he stayed at during the past few years of his life. White walls, white sheets, white robes. The shivering feeling of the chilly white ceramic floor whenever he walks on his bare feet. The scolding he’d get by the nurses and doctors when he runs past them. The laughter and patter of feet following after him echoing through the halls.

The short trail of memories warms his insides a little as he proceeds to insert a key into the keyhole, unlocking it. He unlocks the top and bottom ledges as well, completely unlocking the door, almost teleporting himself inside to get away from the cold air outside.

He locks only the handle and makes his way to the backroom, guided only by the light of the flash on his phone.

Only after turning all the lights on and turning the heater temperature all the way up, up, up, does he let out a sigh.

_Here goes another day of being normal._

“It’s been raining so much lately, hasn’t it?” Soonyoung leaned down a little to place the cup of milk coffee on the only empty spot on the table. The table was not small, it was big enough to fit 3-4 people but Seokmin had covered the entire thing with books, his reference papers, his black bulky laptop and everything else he needed to complete the last few pages of his thesis.

Seokmin glanced up to look at the storefront window near his table, the world outside had seemed gloomy with the dull skies and heavy rain that was so fine it had looked like mist, fogging up the streets making them almost disappear.

It was polar opposites how different the atmosphere outside compared to the interior of Diamonds. The coffee shop was full of people and so bright, vintage decors mixed with modern furniture and the sleek edges of the countertops made everything seem so cozy. Accompanied by the warm hues of the lighting and calming pop instrumentals giving life to the space.

Diamonds was really a wonderful place, Seokmin thinks. He hummed and pushed his glasses higher up his nose, continuing to furiously write some notes in his notebook.

He still felt Soonyoung’s presence, standing beside him so he quickly turned his head in the latter’s direction, wondering if he needed anything, only to find the blonde’s face right in front of his.

Soonyoung gave him a cheeky grin before chuckling, probably at the surprised expression Seokmin has all over his face. Wide eyes and parted lips.

“When you said you were gonna come to the café I thought you were coming to flirt with me,” the blonde said with a pout in his tone, smiling at the way Seokmin’s eyes go cross eyed at trying to focus on the face inches away from him. “Yet you’re here just to do your work, how rude, Minnie.”

“I- Um-” Seokmin gulped. Soonyoung’s nose was already touching his.

“I’m just kidding, you nerd,” the blonde laughs as he pulls away and straighten himself up. “I know you’re getting real close to your finish line, right?”

Seokmin nods, small, and Soonyoung flashes him another grin before patting his shoulder, “Good luck. Finish your drink though, okay Minnie?” he says before turning to walk off.

He couldn’t get far before he was pulled back to where he was standing. The hand wrapping around his squeezed a little. Soonyoung was a little startled but he could see Seokmin fidget in his seat which really warmed his heart.

“I did come so I could see you though,” Seokmin gave him a shy smile, eyes still fixed on their hand instead of the elder’s own eyes, and Soonyoung couldn’t help himself from melting.

“Gosh! You’re so cute!” He squealed, making the younger jump a little but his grip on Soonyoung’s hand still strong.

He placed the tray he was holding with his other hand between his arm and waist so he could use that hand to reach up to Seokmin’s face. He pushed the glasses that was slowly falling of his nose again, making the younger look up. Taking that chance, he gave a peck on Seokmin’s nose.

“Work hard cutie,” Soonyoung says before he all but run off towards the back room. Leaving a flushed Seokmin back to his work and a Wonwoo yelling from behind the counter telling Soonyoung to stop flirting and get back to work.

××××

Turns out Seokmin was right, Seungcheol is not diabolical. He is, perhaps, an angel instead. He was so nice and understanding when Mingyu walked into his Gangnam branch of Diamonds the next day.

Or maybe, he’d felt bad because Mingyu started wailing from the get-go when he was explaining himself. Either way, Mingyu had made it out the man’s office unscathed, assets still intact and crazily enough, even with an additional offer for any favor at all from the man. Seungcheol had said to come by whenever, if Mingyu needs anything, which isn’t really something you would say to the man that punched you that often, would you? Maybe being a celebrity has its perks after all.

“Great, now that we don’t have ‘kill angry businessman’ on our itinerary, can we proceed with your schedule for the day?” Jihoon says as Mingyu climbed up the passenger seat and shut the door.

Mingyu had went in alone and asked Jihoon to wait in the car outside. Or rather, Jihoon denied accompanying him inside since; ‘it’s your mess, fix it yourself’ and ‘you know if it’s a fight I’d just be obliviated into dust’ and also, ‘if he wants to beat you up tell him to aim everywhere but the face’, thus Mingyu had sulkily stomped away from the elder and disappeared into the entrance.

“H-how did you know how it went? I didn’t even say anything yet.”

“Because you’re not ugly-crying to me right now,” Jihoon shifted the gear to drive before proceeding to drive them off without even listening to Mingyu’s agreement.

Mingyu clicked his tongue because he knew Jihoon could tell he wanted to pretend something went wrong so he could take the evening off, and _maybe_, drop by Diamonds. Which was why Jihoon decided to drive him here instead; to avoid any more mishaps from the idiot giant.

Mingyu crossed his arms and turned his body away from Jihoon with a humph at which the latter isn’t even concerned with. Mingyu wanted to apologize to Wonwoo as well today but since he can’t, it will probably be some more time before they meet again. The next few weeks will be packed. His drama is close to a wrap up and he is squeezing the last bit of energy he has finishing up his scenes and promotions as quick as they’d allow him to.

Only after several minutes of driving in silence does Jihoon finally decide to continue in a quiet but serious voice, “You’re running behind on the scenes because you took these past two days off, you know that, right?”

“Of course, I know, hyung. I’m not an amateur,” Mingyu replies, annoyance clearly rolling of his tongue.

“I’m just trying to keep your shit together until the wrap up, you know, so the least you can do is not make this a hassle for anyone. After that you can do whatever the fuck you want, Mingyu, no one at the company will bat an eye.”

Mingyu rolled his eyes and groans, “Sorry I’m a fucking hassle then, hyung. I just wanted some timeout was that so fucking wrong?”

“Hey, _you_ asked for the speed up in filming so you better keep your part of the deal, otherwise you’ll get a bad rep with the director and the producers.”

Mingyu let out a scoff, “Does it fucking matter anymore?”

Only after saying it does Mingyu realize it sounds a little harsh and he’s just letting his steam off towards someone who’s actually just being concerned of him, so he feels a little guilty.

“Kim Mingyu-”

“Stop, hyung,” he says quietly. “I’m- I’m sorry.”

Mingyu turns his face towards the scenery out the window, deciding to focus on the trees and buildings lining the streets instead. He watched the drips of water running against the window, the beads of clear liquid race their way from the top of the frame, diagonally running all the way down towards the edge of it just to disappear from his sight.

He closes his eyes as the dark clouds painted the sky a darker grey than before and just listens as the loud sound of heavy rain beginning to tap against the surface of car. They sound like rains of bullets, deafening his senses, letting him completely miss the look on Jihoon’s face as the elder glanced in his direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update more since it's quarantine season now yay! XD


	9. It’s alright, it’s just a passing downpour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate my life why did I make this story, I am so sad T_________T  
Don't worry I'm talking about the next chapter I'm writing, this chapter is fine.   
It's fine. Just one confused jeon in the building

** _­Oct_2019_ **

The barista pours the dark bitter liquid into the paper cup on the counter, preparing the order he’d just received from a busy looking lady customer a while ago. He watched as the steam and waft of thick coffee scent make its way to his nose. _Americano. _

_And buttered croissants…_

Wonwoo would be lying if he says he isn’t expecting the tall actor to drop by today. In fact, he’s been expecting the brunette for the past four days since the last time he’d pay him a visit. And by that visit, he meant the taller suddenly punching his boss for ‘harassing’ him.

He almost let out a chuckle, reminding himself of how funny the expression on the younger had looked when he had realized that the man harassing him wasn’t even harassing him. Seungcheol was just asking Wonwoo if he could work a couple of extra shifts at the Gangnam branch because the barista there had an emergency that he has to leave for his hometown for the next two weeks.

Wonwoo was reluctant because he’s already covering a lot of Soonyoung’s shift in this branch but he wasn’t going to decline anyway. He’d owed the elder too much.

Seungcheol was the kind of person that has a sort of childish mannerism in his way of speech, which was probably why he’d seem pushy and bothersome in Mingyu’s eyes.

Still, who would have expected him to abruptly land a punch on the elder’s face. _That idiot._

“Oh my god, are you smiling, Won?” Soonyoung suddenly cut off his train of thought.

“No.” Wonwoo says flatly, quick to protest. He didn’t realize Soonyoung had arrived and was on his toes peeking over his shoulder. They both exchange glances on the full cup of americano just sitting there on the counter.

“Are you going to lid that or not?” the blonde teases as he shrugs his coat off, walking towards the backroom to put it away.

Wonwoo ignores the blonde as he immediately lidded the cup and reached over to place it on the counter for the lady waiting. He meets her eyes and gives her a warm smile as she takes it and walks off.

He sighs. Why does that guy somehow always make his way into his mind?

That asshole. He didn’t even come to apologize or something. Wonwoo let out a scoff, _what was I thinking? He’s an asshole, of course he wouldn’t apologize._

He’s probably scared because Wonwoo really got mad and scolded him off that day. He must be terrified of stepping into the shop to face him now. _Well, good then. Just what I wanted. _

He clicks his tongue again, _if only I had lashed out on him earlier, then he’d fuck off sooner. Well at least he’s out of my face now, I don’t have to see that puppy clingy idiot face-_

“Why are you smiling to yourself Won you’re really creeping me out, you know?” Soonyoung is standing beside him now. His apron and name tag all ready, just looking up weirdly towards Wonwoo.

Wonwoo steps back and clicks his tongue again, “I wasn’t. Why are you so close to me, get off!”

Soonyoung pouted as his eyebrows furrow, “I called for you but you didn’t reply,” he rolls his eyes. “What the hell is on your mind dude?”

The taller furrow his brows too as he watches the blonde shake his head, walking over to rearrange the pastries in the cake display fridge.

_How long was he out of it? Whatever._

As long as he doesn’t have to see Kim Mingyu anymore, he’s more than mother fuckedy-fucking _glad_.

Okay. So.

If he was, _glad,_ then why is he still thinking of whether the idiot will drop by?

It’s been three weeks now. Is he actually getting worried? Is the younger actually scared of him? But isn’t that what he wants? Then why the fuck is he getting this odd unsettled feeling in his gut?

And why the fuck is that asshole always interrupting his train of thoughts?

He could just be plating some cakes and be reminded of the red velvet cake that Kim Mingyu was supposed to have the other day before he bailed after causing that scene.

_Well, he deserves not to have cake for being an idiot and go around punching people._

Wonwoo’s brain thinks something, but his insides feel differently. Somehow, it’s telling him to feel ‘happy’ that someone is, how one puts it, _looking out for him._

He could just be wiping tables then his mind brings him back to how Kim Mingyu had looked like sitting at the coffee table. How he was obviously staring at Wonwoo but he pretends he’s oblivious. Long legs, white trousers, his lilac button-up. His elbow prepping his arm up to hold that ugly – _gorgeous, beautiful, flawless – _face in them.

_Well either way Kim Mingyu still needs to apologize, does that asshole not know how to feel guilty? _

Wonwoo clicks his tongue and groans as he places the finished drink he was whipping up onto the counter, startling the girl who was waiting to receive it and Soonyoung who was standing near him working on a different drink.

Wonwoo bows a little, and gave her a small smile as a sign of apology and she blushes as she takes the drink and skips off to join her friends.

“Yo, Won?” Soonyoung curls his fingers and takes a step back away from the taller man.

“Yeah, sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” Wonwoo rests his back against the counter and runs his hands through his hair. _I’m turning into a weirdo._

“Well, whatever it is get it fixed. It ain’t cute to have the customers getting scared of our barista,” he turns back to making the drink.

Wonwoo sighs and walks over to the register as soon as he hears the chime of the bells.

He’s greeted with a familiar face, eye smiles and wide grin.

“Why are you alone?” Wonwoo asks with no emotion in his voice the moment the man stepped up to the ordering counter.

The man’s grin turns into a small pout and a confused furrow in his brows, “W-what do you mean, hyung?”

“Yah! That’s not how you should greet the customer,” Soonyoung complains to his side before he turns to look at the customer. “Oh! Minnie!”

Soonyoung sticks himself beside Wonwoo and the taller cringes at the wide grin plastered on the blonde’s face. Talk about whipped.

Wonwoo clicks his tongue as he pushes the blonde off to the side and sighs, “Welcome to Diamonds, Seokmin. What can I get you?”

The man in front of him is wearing casual jeans, some sort of hoodie sweater with an outer. He’s just carrying a backpack and nothing else so Wonwoo concludes he’s probably just finished his class. _Should I ask him whether he’s seen Mingyu…_

_“Why the fuck would I?”_

“What?” Soonyoung says, surprised.

“What?” Wonwoo returns the question. Apparently, he’d said that out loud.

Seokmin’s face turns a little sadder than before, “Am I not allowed to order milk tea, hyung?” His voice a little quiet.

“What?” Wonwoo asks, a little confused.

“He just asked for a milk tea and you said _why the fuck would I?_” Soonyoung mimicked Wonwoo’s deep voice and slapped the taller’s shoulder before he begins nagging about customer service and how he’s going to put distance between Wonwoo and the customers if he keeps that up. Which then Wonwoo retorts with how he’ll never survive without Wonwoo helping him anyway.

××××

_ **Nov_2019** _

A month. It’s been a month now. Still no sign of that tall idiot.

He even tries to squeeze information from Seokmin during the few times the man had come by, although he’s awfully vague about it that it just sounds like he’s upset for some reason. Asking why the younger comes alone and why he’s there instead of somewhere else may not sound like something one should be asking their customers.

He gave up and tried googling but retorted almost immediately when he keeps seeing pictures of Mingyu and his co-star show up. Headlines on how great the drama is doing and articles on possible behind camera romance that makes Wonwoo even more annoyed for some reason. Well, at least he knows Mingyu _is_ still alive and maybe it ticks Wonwoo off even more when he realizes the younger is showing no sign of remorse at all by what he did. _Talk about being an asshole._

Wonwoo can’t even focus anymore. He doesn’t understand why his mind doesn’t feel like his. It’s like it’s been occupied by something, or _someone_ else and it really bothers him. He’s always in a daze, missing conversations and creating gaps in his memories.

That guy can’t be affecting him this much, _right? No way._

So Wonwoo believes that maybe this is just a side effect from his new medication. He needs to speak to his doctor about this during his next appointment.

One of his meds back then had a similar side effect too. He was always spacing out and he’d start crying out of nowhere. This can’t do. If this keeps up, he’s going to start bawling his eyes out in front of customers.

Wonwoo brings his eyes to the storefront window. It’s supposed to be 3pm but the weather is still gloomy, grey and misty. There’s still a light shower of rain and the ground is absolutely wet due to the long hours of downpour. He’d been mopping the floor since morning and the doormat near the front is decorated in abstracts of mud and water stains. They’ll probably have to get that cleaned and replaced at the end of the day.

He groans and tilts his head up, thinking about how much he hates the cold wet weather.

“Hey angsty teenager we'll be having some guests dropping by later,” Soonyoung suddenly says beside him. Or was he always there? Had Wonwoo not notice him?

“What?”

Soonyoung furrows his brows again and Wonwoo thinks he looks sort of like a hamster when he does it, “Why are you always in a daze lately?”

Wonwoo chooses to ignore that question and walks over to the sink to clear the couple of dirty dishes in there instead.

“Anyways, so Mingyu called me and said him and some of his crew were shooting close by, so they were gonna drop in, daz what I’m saying,” Soonyoung says lazily, mimicking his favorite rapper, Joohoney, for some reason.

Wonwoo tries to ignore Soonyoung’s odd timing to practice his rap and his hand stops scrubbing the dish as his mind catches only the important part, “Mingyu?”

“Yeah, Kim Mingyu. You know, the famous actor, child prodigy, also guy that punched our boss.”

_Oh, so now he shows up?_

Wonwoo scoffs, “What? Why? Can he like, go somewhere else?”

“I don’t know, he called me just to say that. Where else would he go though?” Soonyoung still looks like a hamster.

The taller just groans again, “I don’t know maybe somewhere better than here--”

“Excuuuuse me, better than here?!” Soonyoung scoffs. “I won’t stand here and let you mock Diamonds! This place is basically my child! The hours I have spent into nurturing it, compare to nothing of your--”

Wonwoo returns Soonyoung’s scoff with a louder one, “Please. You're only managing this place because Chan's related with Seungcheol-hyung.”

“The f does that have to do with me? He leaves this chain to me because he knows that I’m a trustworthy and hardworking employee!” Soonyoung pouts and pushes Wonwoo’s shoulder lightly.

“Yeah say what you want but it’s totally because his cousin is like 12. So he's just waiting till Chan's ready to take over. Then he’s gonna kick your sorry ass oUt,” the taller rolls his eyes before splashing some water in the blonde’s direction.

“Chan is freakin’ 21.”

“Same thing.”

Wonwoo maintains his nonchalant expression and Soonyoung just shakes his head, had enough of the ridiculously childish banter coming from Wonwoo. He proceeds to wipe the counters in an attempt to ignore him.

“For real though, can they not come here?” Wonwoo sounds again. “I don’t want to have to interact with neither Kim Mingyu nor people around him. I just don’t have the capability to handle any form of _idiocy_ related to that idiot all at once right now. What if he punches another customer?”

Wonwoo turns to look at Soonyoung and sees his hamster face is still there, just looking slightly offended, “Wow, I’m kind of his friend too so, a little ouch? Plus you know he did that because he was sort of looking out for you.”

Wonwoo stays quiet and gnaws at his bottom lip.

He’s been trying to _not_ accept that. Apparently, seeing Mingyu as an asshole that punches random people makes more sense to him than Mingyu just reacting towards a man who seemed like he was harassing Wonwoo.

Maybe because he didn’t want to accept it because then it would mean he is agreeing to Mingyu caring about him. Which also means Wonwoo is going to relent in the end and care for Mingyu too, you know, like friends do. And he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to be friends with Mingyu.

Soonyoung was about to walk towards the register at the sound of the chime but before he does, he continues, “Also, that doesn’t sound too nice, Won. You need to chill. For real though, this angsty teenager vibe has gotta go.”

He gives the approaching customer a bright greeting and bow before turning towards Wonwoo again, “I don’t want my customers to be thrown off by an emo kid wearing khakis and button-ups behind the counter.”

Wonwoo settles the dishes and watches and Soonyoung places the order chit up the row. He waits until the customer is far enough before he snatches the chit off the board, “Y’know I’d actually quit if I couldn’t take your criticism for my fashion sense but thanks and go fuck off.”

“Whoa there sis.” Soonyoung protests beside Wonwoo who’s started with the order. “We're literally the same age the last time I checked but for real right now, are you sure you’re not actually prepubescent because this ‘grumpy rebel’ attitude is getting really annoying, Wonwoo.”

Wonwoo says nothing but he understands why Soonyoung is getting annoyed. He would too. He doesn’t know why he’s acting that way. His brain is really on the offense side today.

“Get off your act, Won. Minnie already told me how you were as a kid. I don’t want to say my gut’s always right but I totally paint you as someone with a little more good conscience in their bone so whatever it is you have against that guy; you might need to think of just letting it go. Even Seungcheol’s already taking a liking to him.”

Wonwoo gave Soonyoung a questioning look.

“What? You didn’t know? He apologized like the day after. And he’s totally Seungcheol-hyung’s favorite dongsaeng now. They totally facetime each other like all the time. Even more than Minnie does.”

_W-what?_

He’s already apologized to Seungcheol?

Wonwoo scoffs, in disbelief, “Wow? Is everyone his bitch now?”

Soonyoung folds his arms on his chest and furrows his brows again, “It’s just freaking Kim Mingyu. Why are you so worked up about him all of a sudden? This is the first time I see you get so… offensive.”

Wonwoo gulps. _I don’t know._

He grabs the spoon and picks up the cut pieces of strawberries, plopping them into the cup. Soonyoung still has his eyes fixed on him, clearly still wanting an answer.

The taller sighs and shakes his head, “Fine. I’m sorry. It’s nothing. It’s just, the thought of being in the same space with that- with that guy…“

Soonyoung rolls his eyes before walking over towards the cake fridge. He brings out the rainbow cake and places it on the counter next to Wonwoo’s little mixing station. “Dude I don’t get why you hate him so much. I thought you guys used to be best friends or something back then, weren’t you?”

Wonwoo has no answer again. He just proceeds to spoon some cut up kiwi fruits into another cup instead. He measures in some essences before walking over to the fridge to grab the sparkling water bottles.

Soonyoung was still eyeing Wonwoo’s reaction as he proceeded to cut up a slice of the cake, “Y’know what, I honestly think you hate him because you literally have nothing about him to hate,” he says confidently as he plates the cake.

“That doesn’t make sense, idiot.”

That actually made Soonyoung chuckle, “No, it makes a lot of sense. Just take a chill pill. Put on your normal work face and get over it. I’m paying you to,” he places the plated cake onto a tray.

“Technically not you though,” Wonwoo comments.

“Shut up.”

Soonyoung reaches over and lids one of Wonwoo’s completed drinks, placing it onto the tray as well.

“Plus, he's a star. Last time I couldn’t make him forcefully promote us but this time for sure. Any publicity is good publicity so if this gets big and our cafe becomes famous, then that’s a win for everyone.”

Wonwoo scoffs again, “Will I get a raise if it does?”

“No.”

“Then it’s not a win for me?”

“You get to see Mingyu.”

Wonwoo’s head never whipped so fast to look in Soonyoung’s direction. He gave the blonde the dirtiest disgusted expression he could contort with his face, “What the fuck is that? Ugh.”

Okay, maybe he exaggerated a bit. He totally wants to see Mingyu.

_And maybe slap the man in the face with a piece of the red velvet cake._

Soonyoung has a surprised _pikachu_ face plastered on his face when Mingyu showed up with his friends, right in front of the register 15 minutes later, “What in the name of fudge?! When you said you were bringing your crew over, I thought you meant old chubby cameramen and stuff, not your star-studded cast! What on earth, Mingyu?!”

Wonwoo was standing over the side, trying to avoid any form of eye contact with the brunette. He’s hidden behind one of the taller coffee machines sitting on the counter pretending he’s oblivious to the younger’s existence. He’s also pretending that Mingyu isn’t tall enough that he actually totally could see him behind the machine.

He eyes Mingyu’s tan skin and slicked back hair. _He looks good._ Wonwoo almost forgot how good he looked. Which is crazy because Mingyu’s face is everywhere, billboards and advertisements plastered all over town, but those images are basically trash when compared to looking at _the him_ in the flesh. The real deal… was _hot…_

He wonders what was different. Mingyu has the same hair he had on set before but this is the first time Wonwoo notices how _pretty_ it had made him look.

Mingyu was wearing a thick looking, ivory long coat which made him look much taller, with legs that look like they could go on forever. It’s hidden underneath the coat but Wonwoo could see he was wearing a suit inside. He’s really come straight from his shoot then, Wonwoo thinks.

He’s also brought his apparent co-stars. The air around them was so expensive Wonwoo actually felt like he’d be asked to pay just to breath in them. There were four others besides Mingyu and Wonwoo frankly knows none of their names. He recognizes the woman as the actress Mingyu had acted with on set the other day. That rumored off-screen romance article (which Wonwoo calls bullshit. Don’t ask why, he just calls it!). She’s just constantly flicking her hair behind her shoulders, showing off her pretty collarbones and had seemed like she owns 127 boutiques in the richest streets of Seoul.

The other men had seemed expensive as well and they were tall too. In fact, they were all tall. Even the woman. None of them matched Mingyu’s height though, except for one of the men. He was a couple of inches taller than Mingyu even and that was enough to intimidate Wonwoo that he decided on fixing his gaze on the coffee machine instead. He decides to begin brewing the coffee because if anything, he’s sure the expensive people here would know _how_ to order at a coffee shop.

Mingyu smiles sheepishly and brings his hands together like he was apologizing, “I told them I was having my favorite snacks and coffee here, so they said they wanted to come with. They really wanted to check out my fav place, especially this guy here,” he points to the curly haired brunette standing to his right wearing a fancy oversized blazer that does not seem warm enough for the current weather. But he looks stylish, so his goal is achieved then.

“And we really wanted to stay out of the rain. Sorry, Soonyoung-hyung!”

“What do you mean sorry?! This is _gooold._ I was expecting one star but I got five! Stay however long you need, guys.” Soonyoung says with his crinkling eye smile and Wonwoo wants to punch it off his hamster looking face.

He rolls his eyes at the obvious excitement rolling off Soonyoung’s tone. Well, if he’s that excited then maybe these other people _are_ hotshots. He wonders if they’re as big as Mingyu though.

Wonwoo takes a glance, not too long, just enough to catch the droplets of water making wet marks on their customers’ shoulders. It had started to drizzle outside a couple of hours ago so they could’ve just abandoned their plan of visiting the place but why did they have to insist coming over. Wonwoo bites the insides of his and let out a small sigh.

The least he can do to make them feel somewhat cozy – now that they are guests at the café – is to get the temp up and make the place a little warmer. He’s sure the other customers would appreciate it as well anyway, himself included.

So he walks over behind Soonyoung to the thermostat on the wall and cranks the temp up to a toasty 78 before returning to the espresso machine. He misses the four pairs of eyes following his movement back to his post.

“You know what Gyu, everything will be on the house if y’all let me post a picture of you guys on our Instagram or something!”

“Aw that’s really cool, hyung. What do you guys think?” Mingyu grins to his lavish looking friends.

The other man beside Mingyu places his hand on the taller’s shoulder, “I usually wait until I know the foods good, but seeing how this is Mingyu's much mentioned favorite spot, I trust him. I'm down,” he shoots a warm smile in Soonyoung’s way and the man looks like he’s about to jump from overexcitement.

“For sure. For Mingyu's friends. We'll be honored,” the woman grins before she steps closer to the counter in front of Wonwoo, but her eyes scanning the menu hung on top.

Wonwoo wasn’t even bothered to listen to the other two’s reply as he proceeds to lock in the latch and watch as the coffee begins to brew.

“Awesome. So, cool! Okay, just order away. We'll have our best barista Wonwoo whip it out for ya!” Soonyoung chirps and as soon as he says it Wonwoo could feel the gaze of five pair of eyes immediately turning his way.

He almost showed a reaction to the goosebumps but he managed to control it as he turns towards them, giving them the teeniest tiniest bow and smile he could make without looking impolite. He whips his head back to the coffee, pretending he doesn’t feel their gazes linger.

“Oh, so you're Wonwoo-sshi. Hello,” the pretty woman locks eyes with Wonwoo, now in front of him and gives him a smile.

Wonwoo would think the smile was pretty if he wasn’t a little terrified. She looked like she could buy Wonwoo’s entire life.

“Ah, this is the Wonwoo that is keeping our Mingyu’s attention elsewhere,” the tallest man also walks over to stand beside the woman, giving Wonwoo a small bow and knowing smirk that is not making him comfortable at all.

“Aish, Rowoon-hyung! Don’t put it like that,” Mingyu whines as he pulls the taller man back towards him. The man, Rowoon, chuckles and nods as he proceeds to spell out his order for Soonyoung to take.

They all place their orders and Wonwoo listens to how the woman is quick to place herself beside Mingyu as they walked over to their table.

“Gyu, should we sit near the window? I really love the environment here--“

As soon as they were far enough, Wonwoo scoffs, “I wiwy wove du envaiwement hewo nyehhh,” he mimics in a small voice.

“Wtf won...” Soonyoung’s eyes widen as he grips the order chit in his hands.

Wonwoo eyes how she’s sticking to Mingyu’s side even when they were sitting. She’s whispering and showing him things on his phone. It’s a little too close for Wonwoo’s liking, “Look at her pressing her junk against Mingyu,” he scoffs. “This is a public space. At a damn distinguished educational facility and they dare show such act.”

Now they’re all laughing at something the Rowoon guy had said and she’s leaning against Mingyu and hitting his chest playfully so Wonwoo scoffs again as he shuts the coffee machine off angrily, “Let’s sue for public indecency.”

Soonyoung was preparing the cups and plates when he looked at Wonwoo, almost not surprised, “What?”

“Or can I like put some of that dish soap into that fucker Kim Mingyu's dumb americano so he can like choke and di—"

“Won, the fuck?” the blonde slapped Wonwoo’s shoulder again.

“Fucker waltzes in here after no signs of life for a fucking month after causing a scene once then suddenly brings a dumb actress girl and his dumb expensive dude friends.”

“Wow creative,” Soonyoung chuckled. “I thought you’re a literature enthusiast, what is ‘dumb actress girl’ and ‘expensive dude friends’?”

“With nice legs and then he’s just show off his fucking fuckboy persona—” Wonwoo continues rambling.

“Won!” Soonyoung had to startle Wonwoo before he continued to mumble more insults.

Wonwoo clicks his tongue and completes the last drink he needed to prepare. He’s still mumbling incoherent words under his breath and Soonyoung is amused so he giggles before he pokes Wonwoo’s sides, making him yelp, “Are u like, jealous?”

That caught Wonwoo off guard. And he’s not sure whether it’s the question or the poke to his sides or if he _knew_ the answer to that question.

“Fuck! You are!! Lmaoooo! You are!!” Soonyoung almost chants and Wonwoo was about to protest before a voice interrupts them.

“Wonwoo-hyung is what?”

Soonyoung laughs as he looks at Wonwoo’s perplexed expression, “Oh nothing, we're just talking about how Wonwoo was getting jealous over Seulgi's legs.”

“Die.” Wonwoo picks up an empty paper cup and threw it towards Soonyoung.

“Oh, don’t be hyung. I’m sure yours are nicer,” Wonwoo looks up to see Mingyu grinning so widely towards him he can’t even reply so he just rolls his eyes, turning away from the younger which is still smiling, showing off his _dumb_ canines. “Do you have my order, hyung?”

Wonwoo turned in his direction and gave him the worst stink eye he could before replying, “I gave you an extra shot of rat poison,” he lashes before he walks off to the backroom.

Soonyoung threw his hands in the air, “Whoa, what? Watch that mouth Jeon. We don’t want the KFDA here,” he sighs. “You know he didn’t, right? Sorry, he's being a little difficult lately. He's probably finally hitting puberty or something. His voice will probably crack soon, huh?” Soonyoung jokes.

“Oh, damn I hope not. If that voice goes any deeper, I would die if he ever spoke my way!” Mingyu grins and Soonyoung is taken aback by the reply.

“Gosh you two are even cringier than the generic kdrama couple, and _you are _in a kdrama,” Soonyoung brings out his inner Wonwoo as he gives Mingyu an unimpressed look. “Kind of get why he wants to poison you.”

Mingyu is still smiling anyway so Soonyoung just shakes his head. He continues, “Okay, between you and me, I think he's a little mad you come unannounced after disappearing on him for like a month when you were so up in his face before and he's maybeee a teeeeeny tad jealous over a certain costar-”

Only then does Mingyu’s face turn serious, “What? What no. No way. On screen only. I’m not, nope. We're absolutely just good friends.”

“Well you kinda don’t seem like _just_ good friends,” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow. “I read the articles.”

Mingyu shakes his head as he leans closer over the counter, and whispers, “Let’s just say I’m not exactly _her_ type.”

Soonyoung’s mouth makes an ‘o’ and he nods slowly.

“But is he really though?” Mingyu asks.

“What?”

“Is he really jealous?” Mingyu grins again, so widely this time it’s borderline creepy.

“Oh god, wipe that smile off your face Kim Mingyu!” Soonyoung sighs as Mingyu grins even wider.

“Just go away- knowing how emotionally constipated Jeon Wonwoo as the main role of his own teen angst drama here, he won’t step back out here if you don’t leave. And I kind of need his help to set the food so move along will you!” Soonyoung complains.

Mingyu chuckles as he reaches to pick up the tray of drinks, “I’ll take these then, hyung!”

“I'll bring over your food in a bit.” Soonyoung waves him off.

Only then does Mingyu remember something as he reverts his step and lean over towards Soonyoung again, “Hyung. Actually, did Seungcheol-hyung told you, yet?”

Soonyoung looks up to see the creepy grin back on Mingyu’s face.

Wonwoo uses his shoulder to push the door to the supply room open, his hands full with carrying two boxes of the café inventories. He walks in and drops the box to the floor next to the row of condensed milk cans lined up on the lower shelves, letting the door swing shut behind him by itself.

He reaches in his back pocket for the tiny baby blue swiss knife he carries around with his keys. Uses the knife to cut open the tape on the box before folding them back in and into his pocket. The raven-haired man reached out to pick out the contents of the box and arrange them on the shelves before he feels it.

_Not now, _Wonwoo thinks as he sighs.

A strong beat of pulse in his head that rings and echoes, completely deafening his ears. He shuts his eyes and grits his teeth, trying to withstand the pain. One hand gripping the side of the shelf closest to him to balance himself while the other pressing up against his temple.

The ringing continues for a couple of seconds, dying out very, very slowly before a loud slam of the door hitting the wall as it opened basically scared the pain right out of Wonwoo.

He would’ve screamed if his voice wasn’t stuck in his throat as he catches his breath. He leans his back on the shelves with one hand on his chest, trying to calm himself, “What the fuck?! You scared me…”

The man standing at the door immediately looked worried as he walked inside the supply closet to stand right in front of Wonwoo, “I’m sorry, hyung!”

Wonwoo stopped him from getting too close by bringing his legs up like he was going to kick the guy.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Mingyu? You can’t be in here, get out,” he says, breath finally calm enough he can let his voice sound a little angrier.

Mingyu pouts a little but he doesn’t reply and just purses his lips.

Wonwoo’s brows furrow and he clicks his tongue, “I told you to get out, I’m working-”

“Hyung,” Mingyu interrupts.

Wonwoo clicks his tongue again. He really needs to teach this guy a lesson about interrupting people when they speak.

“I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Save your sorry and get out, this is an employees only space!”

“No hyung, I’m sorry,” the brunette emphasizes the word sorry with a lift of his brows. Obviously talking about something else which Wonwoo also realizes. At the apology, the shorter male’s eyes soften just a tiny bit but he doubts Mingyu could tell from that far away so he should be fine.

Mingyu brings his hands to his back as he fidgets in his spot, “I’m sorry for not contacting you this past month.”

Wonwoo scoffs, “I didn’t_ want_ you to contact me.”

“I meant I’m also sorry for hitting Seungcheol-hyung _for you_ the other day,” the corners of Mingyu’s lips curl up in a smile.

“I didn’t tell you to-”

Mingyu stopped him again, “I know. That’s why I’m sorry. I acted rashly and was just being an idiot. I could’ve really hurt your position here and I realized that, maybe a punch too late, but I realized it right after and I felt really bad and I shouldn’t have done it. I’m really sorry.”

The taller man bites his lips after rambling his sentences out and looks up at the elder with his puppy eyes. Wonwoo just rolls his eyes and looks away, letting silence engulf them for a couple of beats.

“Are you done?” Wonwoo asks, monotonous.

Mingyu doesn’t answer, still biting his lips and Wonwoo continues, “Okay, then get out.”

“Hyung.”

“What? Mingyu?!” Wonwoo let his voice raise a little and he feels, maybe a tiny, teeny bit bad because the taller man looked taken aback when he stopped his move to step closer.

The actor has his eyes on the ground and his fists clenched to his side. Wonwoo takes the opportunity to look at the tall man standing in front of him. Mingyu looks vulnerable in his big ivory long coat going past his sleeves and his chin hidden by his turtleneck. He looks like a child who was just scolded by their parents.

Since he’s put on his coat then they are probably about to leave already, Wonwoo thinks.

Mingyu visibly takes in a breath before reaching into the inner pocket of his coat. He takes out a small white paper bag with a gold ribbon attached to it and brings it out in front Wonwoo’s hands.

The paper bag has a logo of a brand he is very familiar with. A fancy designer’s coffee brand popular amongst baristas all over the world. The elder just looked at it, saying nothing. Slightly confused with the situation.

“I got it when I was in Swiss,” Mingyu says but Wonwoo still didn’t move to take the small bag. So Mingyu stepped closer and brought the elder’s hand up by his wrist to place the bag onto his palm instead.

“Take it as an apology present, friendship present, farewell present? Whatever you want it to be, at least just take it because I got it for you,” the taller continues, sounding deflated.

“I- I don’t-”

Before Wonwoo could continue, Mingyu reached into another pocket and took out a dark blue envelope with embossed metallic silver text written in the front. Mingyu held it out for Wonwoo again, showing the silver letterings spelling out _Jeon Wonwoo._

“My drama is coming to an end and it’s my last one. There will be an afterparty to celebrate that. So this is my requested plus one,” Mingyu says, quiet.

Wonwoo just stares into nothing, processing the younger’s words. _His last one?_

The taller man grits his teeth before continuing, “I’m retiring,” he says with a warm smile. Once again placing the item in the elder’s hand because he doesn’t appear to be responding.

“It’s a very important event for me and I really want someone, well, _important to me_, be there with me.”

“Why are you inviting me? Aren’t you closer with Seokmin or Soonyoung or, I don’t know Seungcheol?” Wonwoo deflects, but his hands grip the gift and envelope in his hands tighter as he pulls them closer to himself.

Mingyu breathes out a small sigh before he lifts his head to really look into Wonwoo’s eyes. The elder staring right back, not backing down. They just stared for a few seconds before Mingyu let a small smile curl at the corner of his lips, “Because you’re Wonwoo-hyung.”

Wonwoo feels the vein in his head start to pulse again and his eyes drop to the floor with a sigh. Only when Mingyu spoke again does he realize it might have looked like he was absolutely rejecting the younger’s statements but the pain was starting to pick up again so he just closes his eyes.

“If you don’t want to come then it’s totally fine,” the taller breathes in a rush. “But you’ll have to allow me to assume that as you _really_ cutting us off, and then I won’t bother you anymore,” Mingyu nods slow, “For real this time. I’ll say my goodbye here then, Wonwoo… hyung.”

“Thanks for the coffee,” he says again before turning around and walking out the door in an instant that it took for Wonwoo to blink.

Wonwoo grits his teeth as the pain intensifies and he crouches to the ground, burying his head in between his knees and chest. He clutches the things Mingyu gave him to his chest involuntarily and let a stream of tear escape his eyes, withstanding the pain.


	10. It’s just a passing downpour, that’s how I feel after I met you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some emotional stuff. Wonwoo letting his real emotions out finally uwuu!  
I'll get to explaining the important stuff in the next chapters, the whole wonwoo backstory (the real reason he was in swiss before) and also the time when they separated T_T  
Enjoy i guess, i dunno, im sad lol but <333
> 
> Also of course I recommend reading this while listening to downpour, it just makes it more sad :DD

** _Dec_2019_ **

“Hello, Wonwoo-hyung,” a chirpy voice accompanied by a blonde nest of curly hair prepped their elbows on the counters, leaning forward to look at the drink Wonwoo was making.

“Oh, Chan! Haven’t seen you in a while, how’s school?” Wonwoo looked up to catch the younger boy smiling wide. He still has his backpack on his back and the thick green sweater he likes so much on as he ducked under the counter panel, making his way to stand beside Wonwoo.

“Hm, I wouldn’t say it’s horrible,” he says sheepishly. “You’re getting really good now, huh?” he peeks over the elder’s shoulder, the elder doing latte art for a customer which had ordered a cup of caffé latte earlier.

“I got myself a license for this, you know. You’d expect me to be good at this,” Wonwoo chuckles a little. He didn’t spend weeks in barista school to suck at his job.

“Why? Did something happen at school? Today’s supposed to be some end of term results day, right? Soonyoung even took the whole day off instead of just the morning, that asshole, probably out cuddling his little tutor. Thanks to him I’m dealing with double the workload here.”

Chan laughs as he shrugs off his backpack, placing it on the empty spot on the counter near the edge of the wall. He rolled up his sleeves and proceeded to wash his hands. Wonwoo eyed the boy’s movement from the corner of his eyes.

“I think I saw Seokmin-hyung walking towards Soonyoung-hyung’s dorms on my way here, so, yeah,” the blonde says in between his giggles as he walks over to the panel near the side of the register, where the rows of order chits would usually be hung on. He picked off one of the two remaining chits and read the order, iced milk tea.

“Ugh, don’t tell me more. I hate him so much for having a life,” Wonwoo says before placing the latte he had finished making onto a tray where a slice of carrot cake sat on to the side.

Breathing in, putting his ‘serious parent’ look, he turns around and folds his arm, resting his back against the counter, staring down the younger boy.

Chan had just picked up a plastic cup and was going to start preparing the milk tea before he glanced over towards the elder.

He’d looked like a literal tiny deer caught in headlights.

“What’s up? You never help out here,” Wonwoo questions with his tone flat.

The younger blonde tries to pretend nothing was wrong but he was a horrible actor. Wonwoo smirks, maybe he should get lessons from Ming- _why am I thinking of that guy here? Shrug it off, Won._

“Nothing’s wrong, I just thought, you know since I figured Soonyoung-hyung won’t be here, you might have it hard on yourself, the intern already quit, right? And the interview for the new one is next week! So, yeah, I should help out too sometimes right? That’s right, yeah,” he gives an awkward glance that lasted about a quarter of a second before he proceeded to fill the cup with ice.

“Plus with the Christmas Party we’re having this weekend! You have so much on your shoulder, hyung! Let me help you out sometimes~”

Talk about bad acting. Really reminds him of a much better acto- _No!_

Wonwoo didn’t say anything and just maintained his gaze on the younger, sternly. He knows the younger will break soon anyway.

The boy’s lips form a pout as he turns to face the elder. “Okay! Fine, I’ll tell you!! But don’t tell Cheol-hyung!”

Wonwoo gives him an assuring nod, “Of course.”

“I… might… have failed one of my classes,” Chan spills, biting his lips and fidgeting in his spot. Looking at the scene Wonwoo could almost forget the boy in front of him was only four years younger than himself. He’d just look like an elementary kid confessing their candy crimes to their parents.

“Right, so you’re afraid of going home since you’ll have to face Seungcheol-hyung, which is why you’re here, buying time?” Wonwoo finishes with a smirk.

Chan gives the elder a teethy grin and a small nod, “I just hope he’s already asleep by the time I get home.”

“You know he’s going to wait up for you, right?”

The boy sighs as he nods again, “_That_ is what I’m dreading,” he says before he perks up suddenly and turns to Wonwoo with wide eyes. Pleading and expecting eyes, “Hyung, can I-”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what I was about to say!” the boy deflates immediately and Wonwoo feels a little bad. This is why some people (read: Soonyoung and Junhui) calls Wonwoo, Chan-biased, he always feels bad when he has to say no to the boy. 8 out of 10 times he would say yes to the blonde in a heartbeat whenever he starts pouting. _Which is somewhat similar to how Mingyu managed to persuade me to lunch the other day; playing with my sense of guilt. That jerk. Now he’s making me feel bad again if I don’t go to his event thing damn it, that fuck-_

“You were going to ask if you could come to my house instead.”

The boy grins again, cheekily, “Can I?”

“No.”

“Hyung!” the boy whines.

“What did you fail?” Wonwoo says as he picks up the tray with the completed order he’d whipped up previously.

“Literature,” Chan pouts.

Wonwoo walks up until he’s standing in front of the younger blonde. “The sooner you face him the better, you know that, right?” The boy nods before Wonwoo plops the tray onto his hand abruptly, the boy catching it, “You can tell him I’ll tutor you, that’ll lessen the blow since he’ll think you’re actually reflecting on your failure or something.”

“Really, hyung? You’ll do that for me?!” the boy’s eyes widen in excitement and Wonwoo nods. “But wait, hyung? _Can_ you teach me-” he says a little suspiciously.

Wonwoo cuts the boy off with a flick of his finger onto the boy’s forehead, “What? You don’t think I am qualified enough?” he says with a snark in his tone.

The younger boy whines, not being able to take his hands away from the tray to rub his forehead.

“I was studying in Switzerland after that,” Wonwoo says pointily. “Didn’t Junhui tell you that?”

Chan seems a little surprised but he shrugs with his lips pursed, “They only told me you… got better and went away…”

Wonwoo breathes, and nods.

He understands why they didn’t explain things to Chan back then; the boy was too young.

The taller man grins, looking proud of himself, “I’ve read so much books in all genres possible. You don’t think I’d be qualified enough, you idiot?”

Chan smiles, convinced as he nods and grins again, “Of course you are! I’ve forgotten how you were always carrying a book too back then, even now, huh?” Chan glances over towards the novel sitting on top of counter beside the coffee machines; Wonwoo’s which he’d find time to read when there’s nothing to do.

Wonwoo’s lips curl up a little as he looked at his copy of Beloved by Toni Morrison, only halfway more, he can’t wait to finish it, “Right, now send this to the customer at table 7 and go fuck off home,” his tone flat.

Chan says, still grinning, “If Cheol-hyung heard you cursing in front of me he’d probably give you a lecture on the spot here, hyung,” he chuckles as he moves to serve the drink and dessert, Wonwoo picking up from where he left off on the milk tea.

“You’re not fucking 12, Chan.”

××××

It’s basically been another month since he last saw Mingyu, in the flesh that is. He sees Mingyu in the ads and almost every commercial, and maybe he doesn’t admit it to himself but he sees Mingyu in his dreams too. _Just there,_ smiling.

Wonwoo stares at the actor’s pretty face, who’s now grinning at him with a piece of fried chicken in his hand.

_Just there,_ staring back at him from the cover of his takeout box.

The raven-haired man continues chewing down on his food as he leans back on his couch, eyes still participating in the staring contest with the square piece of cardboard.

The contest lasts for about a minute before he lets out a sigh once he’s swallowed down the food, “You win.”

Wonwoo wipes his hands with a napkin before walking over to the kitchen counter where he had left the things Mingyu gave him, untouched throughout the entire month. He picked them up and carried them back with him as he settles with sitting cross-legged on the couch.

He pushes his glasses up and blinks. He’s been wanting to open the Espro paper bag for so long, ever since he got it. It’s a really cool coffee makers’ tool brand and Wonwoo is obsessed with the brand, as any other baristas probably are. He just didn’t want to really accept the gift fully so he’s been scared of opening it.

He thinks back to how Mingyu had looked when he gave him the small bag. To the small smile he had when he placed it in Wonwoo’s hand.

Wonwoo glanced again to takeout-cardboard-Mingyu, and back to the image in his mind.

He swallows and lets out a determined sigh as he slowly pulls off the gold ribbon tied on top of the package.

The white paper bag opens, revealing a small black wooden box inside, just about the size of his palm. He takes it out and inspects the box, deeming it to be made of very fine-quality and sleek material he doesn’t know the name of. Pushing it open, he lets out a silent gasp as he realizes what it is.

It’s a coffee tamper.

The cool, expensive one that can be calibrated and seems really fancy. Wonwoo touches the tamper sat between the soft velvet cushion with his index finger, wondering why it was packed in such a luxurious package as if it was a high-end Dior-esque brand jewelry. The most the tamper would’ve costed him was probably around 100 bucks. He guesses Mingyu probably did his part with that and lets out a chuckle. _He’s so extra._

Wonwoo picks the tamper out and fits the metal handle into his grip, relenting into how the material felt nice and was molded just right to fit between his fingers. It was an incredibly nice gift, and very thoughtful of him to give Wonwoo something he could really make use of when he makes his coffee. He smiles to himself and sighed again before returning the tamper into the box, setting it aside.

He picks up the envelope next and wonders if it’s even too late to open it now. It _has_ been a month. Maybe the event is already over and Mingyu has finally decided to not involve himself with Wonwoo anymore. Maybe _that’s_ why there’s been nothing from him the past month.

Wonwoo grips the piece of hard paper and stares at his name embossed in metallic cursive writings. With another sigh, he decides to just deal with it and turned the envelope around, tearing the back flap a little to open it.

He pulls out a piece of glossy card from the inside and skims through it really quickly, hoping that would deal with his anxiousness if he gets it over with fast enough.

He reads the words invitation, celebration and dinner. Then he looks for the date and finds the numbers twenty-two.

December twenty-second. This coming weekend.

“Sunday…” he tells himself.

So, he _didn’t_ miss the event. But… was he even thinking about going in the first place?

Wonwoo doesn’t do, parties or gatherings. He’s only _really_ gotten his freedom less than a year ago. He’s never interacted with many people at once like that, the most amount of interaction he got was at the coffee shop. It wouldn’t be a pretty picture if he went to the event, if he even _wants_ to go to the event.

But Mingyu…

He did say it was important for him. And Wonwoo is definitely not immune to guilt and some moral conscience. Mingyu _was_ his friend after all. Entertainment business _was_ his dream and he made it happen and the fact that this is a celebration to commemorate his last drama, that he’s retiring from his dream… It’s making Wonwoo reconsider things. And sparks Wonwoo to wonder _why_ he retiring in the first place?

Wonwoo lets out a breath as he let his head fall sideways onto the couch. He feels another headache coming so he decides to just sleep it off. He’ll deal with this Mingyu issue sometime later.

It’s only Wednesday, he still had three more days to figure things out, _if_ he wants to.

“You’re late today,” Soonyoung asks from behind the counter.

Wonwoo makes his way to the other barista upon entering the premises and raises his brows, “Uh, I’m right on time?” He glances down to his watch, he’s definitely _not_ late. He clocks in at 11 am today and the clock literally just hit 11.

“Yeah. You’re never _on_ time. You’re always like 30 minutes early,” Soonyoung says before his face lights up as if he’s just realized something. “Is something up?” he asks as he walks over to take Wonwoo’s backpack off his back, now wearing a worried expression on his face instead.

“What’re you doing?” the taller one asks, confused why Soonyoung is treating him nicely. “I’m… fine? I just overslept.”

Wonwoo reaches out to grab his bag from Soonyoung’s grip but the man doesn’t want to give it back, “I’ll just put this away for you. It’s so heavy, what did you even put in here?” he fakes a laugh before returning to his normal face and walking behind Wonwoo, forcefully taking off his coats as well to carry to the backroom.

Before Wonwoo could stop him and question his behavior the bell chimed and a customer walks in, so Soonyoung quickly snatched and stripped everything off Wonwoo and nudged him to the counter, “You deal with that, I’ll get your apron!” he says before dashing off.

Wonwoo’s brows furrow but he decides it’s just one of those days where Soonyoung is _actually_ trying to be a weirdo as he greets the customer in front of him with his obligated smile.

“Are you just being nice to me to get me to do stuff for you?” Wonwoo asks once they were done serving the customer from before, now just standing around behind the counters, doing some cleanups.

Soonyoung scoffs, “N-No. Just, because… I don’t think I’ve ever done anything nice for you,” he says, unconvincing.

“Well, neither have I. So can you not, it’s so creepy,” Wonwoo shrugs the fake goosebumps off his shoulders as he wipes the counters and folds the rug neatly, placing it to the side, “I’ll wait out back. We have some bags of beans coming in today, right?”

“Wait!” Soonyoung suddenly halts him. “I’ll do the inventory!”

Wonwoo raises a brow.

“You did it last time! I’ll do it this time. Fair and square, right?” Soonyoung grins.

Wonwoo maintains an unamused expression while Soonyoung visibly looks more nervous as the second goes, “Well…

“Let’s just say I have other _more_ important things I need you to do…?” the end of Soonyoung’s sentence goes up, making it sound like a question – although a confused sounding one at that.

The raven-haired barista folds his arms to his chest, “And what is that?”

Soonyoung’s eyes were frantic, looking for answers that seemed to be on everywhere around the café but on Wonwoo’s face, “The party!” he says quickly.

“The party?”

“Our Christmas Party! This Saturday, right?! I… need you to prepare some things for it,” the panicked man spells out. Wonwoo just waits for him to continue, “And… uh- Well… We need some good champagne…?”

The taller man’s face contorts into a look of confusion, “You need me to get champagne?”

Soonyoung nods.

“Two days early?”

The man nods again.

“So that’s why I can’t go and get the coffee beans now?”

Soonyoung looks up for a second before nodding again.

Wonwoo scoffs before letting out a groan, “You’re an idiot,” he says before stomping his feet and heading towards the backroom door.

“Okay, okay! Wait! I meant I need you to run some errands for me!” Soonyoung whines.

“Well, spit it out!” Wonwoo almost scolds.

The other man sighs before continuing, “Seungcheol is bringing his fiancé to the party and they’re celebrating their 7th anniversary so he asked me if I could run by the cake store and grab their cake before heading to the party!”

“And you can’t do this yourself, _why?”_

“Because I’m going shopping with Minnie and his parents cause they’re in town right before that so I can’t turn them down and I don’t want to rush on my way back to Diamonds later because we’re going to the city and it’s a far way back and Minnie will drive us here with his parents car so I don’t want to trouble him too and the cake shop is like from the opposite direction I checked!” Soonyoung spits out in rapid fire.

Wonwoo’s pretty convinced if Soonyoung decides to venture into the rap business, he’d fucking excel.

They both just stare at each other, one in disbelief and the other in hope.

Wonwoo gives up and sighs loudly, “Yeah, okay fine, I guess.

“You didn’t have to be all up in my space. I probably would’ve done it anyway without you trying to do all these ‘favors’ for me,” he rolls his eyes and turns around immediately when the bell chimed.

Soonyoung let out a breath of relief before groaning in mute behind Wonwoo who was interacting with the customer who had just walked in. He drops his head and walks away to the backroom to wait for the delivery instead, “Talk about subtle, Soonyoung.”

××××

When Saturday rolls around, Wonwoo goes to work as usual, he comes for his afternoon shift and Soonyoung passes the baton to him so he could run off and do things with his boyfriend and stuff.

He entertains probably less than ten customers before he gets off work at around six.

They were lucky the campus was really empty since it was the holidays so they didn’t have to worry about a flood of customers during their Christmas Party tonight. Although, they did put up a notice that said they would be closed tonight since a few days ago, just for precaution.

Wonwoo waits until around half past six as he cleansed up the store and does some inventory when Chan finally walks into the place, hands carrying a couple of bags full of things he assumes is for them to set up for the party.

“You’re getting the cake?” Chan asks.

Wonwoo hums and pats the boy’s head as a greeting, before he goes over to his coats that he’d already left on the counters earlier, ready to leave and run his errands.

Soonyoung ended up saying he would get the champagne instead, but he just kept reminding Wonwoo not to forget about the cake in the morning when he clocked in.

He reminded Wonwoo again when he was about to leave, also mentioning how he will be here at 7.30. And again, ‘At seven-thirty, got it?!’ he says before running out the door.

“Will you be fine on your own?” Wonwoo asks Chan who had just dropped his things onto one of the tables.

Chan nods, “Cheol-hyung is on his way, he just closed up the Gangnam branch and he’s dropping by the mart to get some extra snacks and stuff so he should be here soon-”

“Okay.”

“Junhui-hyung, Seokmin-hyung, Soonyoung-hyung and-”

“Will come at 7.30, right?” Wonwoo interrupts the younger boy. “I know, Soonyoung keeps on telling me for some reason. He literally called me again just now saying ‘_we’ll_ be there at 7.30, half-past seven you hear me!’”

The younger blonde’s eyes look up towards the ceiling as he thinks, before a lightbulb moment hit him, “Oh, I think he’s actually talking about-”

“Alright, I’m heading out!”

Before the boy could explain why Soonyoung had insisted on reminding Wonwoo of their arrival time, he looks up to see Wonwoo already half-way out the door, pulling his hood up. It wasn’t raining outside, but the wind was strong and it was freezing, which was why the elder was equipped with three layers of sweater and a big puffy grey padding, it might be a lot for some people at these times right before winter, but it just never seems to be enough for Wonwoo.

He lets the door shut behind him and Chan watches with a sigh before he yells out after, “Be safe, hyung!” loud enough he sees Wonwoo look back at him through the storefront window, giving him a thumbs up.

“I hope he knows who else was invited,” the boy let out a chuckle before getting started with his own task, moving some tables around so that it starts looking more like a party setup.

Wonwoo wanted to take his time, and maybe arrive later than 8pm, just so he could rile Soonyoung up, but the trip wasn’t too far away. It was only about 20 minutes away and the real problem was that it was too cold out for Wonwoo that he can’t really feel his fingers to even attempt staying outside much longer anyways.

He holds the handle of the cake box tighter, worried the numbness from the cold might make him accidentally drop the cake instead. He brings one hand under the box and brings it closer to his chest, carrying it like a prized possession.

The raven-haired walks on the pavement quickly, avoiding the small puddles left by the rain, probably from the afternoon or evening, he doesn’t know – it’s just been raining all the time lately anyways.

He halts his steps right before stepping off the sidewalk, waiting for the pedestrian light to turn green. He pulls his sleeve a little and looks at the time.

It’s already 7:30, he wonders if Soonyoung has actually arrived to see Wonwoo not there.

He lets out a breathy laugh, rethinking whether he should delay his arrival again. But he guesses he probably already took enough time and it _is_ actually shivering cold out. Plus, the café is only another two streets across, he should arrive in no time.

The shivering barista lets out a breath of air and watches as the hot air turns into a puff of white that drags out into a long tail in front of him. The slight wind letting it drift away from his face before it disappears into the air. He does it once, and again, and one more, amused with the way the puffs appear even when he’s just breathing slightly through his nose too.

Maybe it’s because this is actually the first time he’s actually experiencing winter in the outside world this freely, without being scolded to go back inside or, getting a lecture on how his body is too frail to stay outdoor for too long. Maybe that’s why the man finds himself smiling widely before he lifts his head up to take in the scenery of his surrounding instead.

The streets were empty, save for a couple of people quickly passing by, probably to get home and away from the cold. Some stores were already closed for the holidays, but he could see the 24-hour mart at the street across him; still hitting the streets with their multiple bright-yellow cheap-incandescent lightings.

It’s almost similar to the scene that greets him whenever he’s assigned to the morning shifts and has to open the café right before dawn breaks, but this time, the day is ending instead. It’s funny how different things look like at different times of the day. Even more now with the misty and gloomy weather not even allowing the sun to paint the sky its usual shades of orange and pinks.

Everything was just grey and cold.

As soon as the light turned green, Wonwoo stepped off onto the crosswalk. Halfway through he felt something cold hit his cheeks, and melt right off. It’s wet too.

He looks up as soon as he safely makes it to the other side.

The greyish blue hues of the night sky slowly seeping in the dark grey clouds, accompanied by white specks of cold ‘rain’; really tiny balls of snow starting to fall right before his eyes. He stands right at the edge of the sidewalk and savors.

Really taking his time admiring the pretty sight unfolding before his sight.

He breathes in the cold air properly, although his nose is a little stuffed from the minus temperature, but he manages somehow and lets the chill settle deep into his lungs.

_It’s so good to really be outside._

Wonwoo smiles widely to himself again and feels his insides warm despite his body actually starting to shiver. He looks and chooses one particular speck of falling snow and follows its movement, just watching as it drifts down really slowly, floating and dipping with the wind before it lands right before the tips of his shoes, melting right onto the surface of the pavement.

“You’re… smiling,” a very familiar voice sounds breathless near him.

Wonwoo swallows_, because he knows that voice. _

He quickly turns his head towards the direction of the voice and finds the face he’s been thinking off the past month looking right back at him.

The man’s face holding an unreadable expression between surprised and heartbroken. It’s the man he can’t seem to get off his mind. The one who he had found himself absentmindedly tracing the features off on his takeout box one day – before snapping himself out of it and throwing the box into the recyclables.

The very pretty set of almond eyes, brown irises, and long lashes. Straight nose, high cheekbones, tanned clear, glowing, dewy skin. And his lips, pouty and very, very annoyingly talkative pair of lips.

Wonwoo blinks, the man’s previously brunette hair is now, _black_. Very black. And short too. It’s resting effortlessly against his forehead and he looks really, really, _really_ good.

The hair is new, but the rest of him is still very familiar. The features and even the expression he has on his face is something Wonwoo feels like he’s so used to seeing. It’s very, _him._

Very…

“_Mingyu.”_

Wonwoo doesn’t realize it as he says the man’s name breathlessly. As if he’s released all the weight on his shoulders from the past month.

And he doesn’t realize that maybe, thinking of the man that much is maybe just him, well, _missing Mingyu_.

Mingyu’s eyes are locked on his and his mouth is slightly parted as he lets out a couple of breaths. The white puffs of air making its way between them and disappearing into thin air before it even reaches halfway.

For some reason, Wonwoo doesn’t seem remember any of the thoughts that ran through his head then, or how his heart had started to pick up its pace. But he remembers seeing Mingyu smile and let out a chuckle a couple of seconds later, before taking the seven steps it took to stand right in front of him.

Wonwoo knew for sure, _he counted them along with the beats his heart made._

Mingyu studies the elder’s somewhat surprised face in front of him warmly, before reaching in his inner pocket to pull out a piece of handkerchief. He grins, showing off his canines while he folds the fabric in half again with one hand, seeing that his other hand is occupied with carrying a large paper bag.

Once he’s done with folding the piece of fabric, he brings them right under Wonwoo’s nostrils, just pressing them softly on the skin there with a breathy chuckle again, “Cold?”

Only then does Wonwoo realize his nose was running. It often happens when he’s cold but to think this happened right in front of the man and he didn’t even notice. _Just kill me._

Wonwoo startles and takes the handkerchief off the younger’s hand, ignoring how warm his fingers felt against him despite the freezing weather. He holds it under his nose and wipes it properly, turning away slightly as he felt a sort of warmth creep up his cheeks, “Yeah.”

Mingyu nods, “Then we should go quickly,” he says as he reaches for the box of cake in Wonwoo’s other hand, carrying them with his free hand instead.

He started to pace in the direction Wonwoo was headed for.

“Hey,” Wonwoo says, startled again.

Mingyu halts in his step and turns around, “Diamonds, right?”

Wonwoo nods slowly.

“Then let’s go, hyung.”

The elder grips the handkerchief tightly in his hands, not thinking about how the younger had looked when he placed it on his face. How their eyes locked and how gentle he was.

He shakes all the thoughts out of his mind and only thinks about how he’ll wash it before returning it instead. Maybe dry clean it too…? _Can you send a handkerchief for dry-cleaning?_

He calls out to Mingyu, as he increases his pace to try and catch up with the taller man who was already a couple of feet in front.

“Hey, I can carry that on my own,” Wonwoo says, his voice is quiet but it resonates loud enough to travel between them amidst the slightly dark and empty street.

Mingyu smiles, “I think your fingers are going to fall off soon if you don’t shove them in your pockets or something, hyung.”

The elder purses his lips because he knows Mingyu is right. So he saves the few comebacks he has prepared in his mind and just keeps quiet as he reluctantly places his hands in his padded coat’s pocket instead, slightly relieved at the toasty feeling.

They walk in silence and Wonwoo is actually surprised it wasn’t awkward. That it felt, _nice._ That it feels nice to walk beside someone for once and just be in their presence, without having anything to offer to them.

They cross a street where Diamonds was located at and right when the entrance could literally be less than 10 steps away, Wonwoo stopped in his tracks abruptly.

The taller realizes and does the same as he turns to face him. Before he could question what was wrong, he was interrupted by said man instead.

“Why… are you here, Kim Mingyu?”

The younger raises his brows, wondering what the question implied. He hums, “Because Seok invited me? He wanted me to meet Chan and Junnie-”

Wonwoo closes his eyes and sighs as his head drops down.

The headache that visited him constantly the past couple of months really starting to attack him during inconvenient times lately. His worst nightmare would be getting them when he’s taking a customer’s order – that wouldn’t be pretty – but this isn’t a bad example of a worst time to get one as well.

He grits his teeth as he focuses his gaze on the ground.

“Are you okay, Wonwoo?”

The elder brings his hands to cover his face, trying to completely block out his vision as he let out a sigh, trying to calm his breath. That would usually help with bringing the pain to a low.

He takes in more deep breathes and tries letting it out slowly but it comes out staggered.

He focuses on attempting to even out his breath but when he realizes it wasn’t working and his shivering fingers are making it much, much worst, he feels a really warm pair of hands over his own. The hands rest themselves on his gently and it feels so, so warm and nice that it’s actually somehow working.

Wonwoo takes in a deeper breath this time and relishes in the way the warmth is feels really nice on his skin. So he slowly uncovers his face, the hands on his remaining as the grip on it was firm enough but not without all the gentleness in the world, as if he was holding something vulnerable.

Wonwoo brings his face up slowly and realizes that Mingyu was now standing really closely in front of him, leaning into his face, searching for his eyes with the most endearing look of concern he has ever seen.

It startles Wonwoo a bit so he flinches and takes a step back, eyes on everywhere else but the man himself. Apparently, the ground is so interesting today. But he obviously doesn’t miss the look of hurt Mingyu wore on his face when he had nodded, “Do you want me to leave, hyung?”

_No! I didn’t mean it, I…_

The words are stuck behind Wonwoo’s throat. He swallows and focuses on his short breaths, desperate to even them out again so his head won’t hurt as much anymore. The ringing in his head grown louder and worst when he had reacted too quickly earlier.

Mingyu takes a step back and turns to the side to pick up the things he had apparently placed on the ground earlier. He sighs before continuing, “Am I really that much of a bother, hyung?”

_No! No, no!_

Wonwoo swallows again. He wants to get this over with, but he really doesn’t want to see that sad look on the younger’s face anymore.

It feels horrible, causing someone to look at you like that.

He clenches his teeth and swallows again – trying to take down all his walls along with it. He manages to croak out a whisper, “No… I just...”

He_ just what?_ Can’t deal with people taking care of him? Is an asshole that can’t settle his own thoughts and emotions?

_Just so tired of playing the role of someone he knows he’s not?_

“Do you hate me, hyung?”

Wonwoo shakes his head immediately at that before he begins, voice quiet, “Who can hate you, Kim Mingyu...” he says, the most honest he’s been in the past few minutes, maybe months, or even years. Wonwoo doesn’t even know anymore.

Mingyu gnaws on his bottom lip. His eyes glued to Wonwoo’s face, desperate to read the elder’s expressions while the latter’s vision remained locked on his own clasped hands. Gripping them very, very tightly; as if trying to keep in the real truth of _why _he’s feeling so perplexed with his own feelings.

Or maybe it’s because he’s actually trying to get the truth _out_ instead? The truth that…

“Then do you miss me, hyung?”

The truth that…

That maybe _yes, he absolutely misses Mingyu._

And not just from not seeing him the past month. But maybe from not seeing him for the past 16 years.

The yearning he has to be friends again with the younger. Just sitting around beside him again and talking to him and sharing his day with him. Laughing at the awful jokes Mingyu’s mother makes and sneaking in bites of chocolate snacks at night. Complaining about the bossy nurses and nagging doctors. Talking about how the medicine tastes bitter and smells awful and makes him dizzy and sleepy. _And that it still tastes that way now…_

To be able to turn around and see the younger’s face looking back at him, just following him around.

Wonwoo lied.

He _definitely _lied.

He knows who Mingyu is – was. He recognized Mingyu the first time they met at the hospital. He was stunned and horrifyingly shocked at the man standing outside the door of his checkup room and he panicked and wanted to just speed off if the younger hadn’t actually call out for him. He didn’t want Mingyu to see him like that.

He _couldn’t_ let Mingyu see him like that.

When they fell apart 16 years ago, Wonwoo was devastated. He had basically lost all the colors he had worked so hard on painting in his life.

He was disappointed that he didn’t get better, and it wasn’t like he was blaming the doctors. It would be better if he did, then he could just switch doctors and feel better. But he had blamed himself the most. He was most disappointed_ with himself._

Wonwoo was the positive one, the one who had gleamed with hope, the one who roared with belief that he was going to get better one way or the other. Everyone had looked at him like the strong boy who battled against his illness and they wanted to be just like him. Confident and hopeful.

But when it relapsed during his most important time, he’d felt like he let everyone down and shattered their hopes along with his own.

He couldn’t bear letting down another person in his life. He couldn’t bear getting attached with anyone anymore, feeding them with false dreams and hopes of a normal life. That _he’ll_ ever receive a normal life.

Even now, he’s living under the pretense of being absolutely cured and healthy, when he’s actually been denying the signs that his own body has been screaming at him throughout the past months.

Wonwoo’s teeth chattered as he shivered. He hugs himself as he feels the coldness wrap around him like a blanket, slowly hurting him from the outside now too.

He feels warm tears start to fall from his own eyes as he takes in short breaths of air, struggling to really keep it together. The tears kept falling in constant streams, that was starting to blur his vision. He bites his lips, holding the sobs in.

He doesn’t really notice Mingyu placing the things in his hands back to the ground, before stepping up in front of Wonwoo again.

The taller man covers his own mouth with both of his hands. He blows hot air for a couple of beats into them. Then he reaches out slowly, and very carefully, he places both palms directly onto the sides of Wonwoo’s face this time.

The elder immediately soften upon the contact, relishing in the warmth and gentle fingers softly caressing the features on his face, obviously trying to soothe him and calm him down.

And it definitely works, and Wonwoo focuses on the warmth instead. He swallows down all the confusion he has, leaving just the feeling of serenity and adoration for the younger boy that he misses so much as he lets more streams of tears flow from his eyes.

He lets out an uncontrolled sob before clamping his lips shut again, embarrassed at the sound. Mingyu uses his thumbs to keep wiping the tears away. He’s _just there,_ not saying anything to tease Wonwoo, and never demanding anything. He was always_ just there._

From back then, even until today.

He misses him.

_He just misses the boy he met when he was 9._

Wonwoo opens his eyes and let his gaze meet with Mingyu’s worried eyes, he looks like he was about to cry as well. The elder leans into the touch against his face, just slightly. He doesn’t say anything, and doesn’t do anything else. He decides to just let their eyes speak for themselves.

They just stood there, under the snow slowly falling, staring into each other’s eyes for a couple of seconds. Wonwoo doesn’t exactly know how long but it felt like everything else didn’t matter at the time.

The barista only recalled his sense of time when Mingyu finally gave him a smile. And a nod following right after, as if telling him he understands all the thoughts Wonwoo has in his mind.

_Me too._

As if he’d heard the reply, Wonwoo began crying even harder as he let his eyes close again. The younger steps even closer, hoping his body warmth would radiate further enough for the elder to feel.

Mingyu let out a chuckle as he rests his forehead onto Wonwoo’s.

Voice low, more as if he’s talking to himself, “Why are we always crying during the first snowfall?”


	11. When the rain stops, let’s meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Party '03 mess ;(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :D
> 
> Apparently ao3 data says authors post more during quarantine and honestly i thought i would be posting so much that i actually finished this story already sksksk. Welp as it turns out, that that absolutely is not the case for me. This lockdown isnt good for me at all sigh. My productivity rate has probably decreased by like 98% lol  
I feel so sluggish and lazy ugh that i just procrastinate everything and anything and now i have a piled up list of things i need to actually complete which just makes me even more lazy to do them  
So what i did to get out of the cycle was really, do something i never done before right before i decide on doing the task, you get me? lol.  
Eg, when i had to complete my work i ordered a delivery for a whole cake for me to eat by myself XDD so i have something to look forward to?  
before i did continued this story i went outside to my yard and cleaned my garden, like deep cleanse it, de-weed and stuff. apparently that made me excited to write? idk hahah  
share with me your effort in escaping the never-ending loop of quarantine lyfe XD

** _Dec_2003_ **

“Sounds good. I’m sure you’ll be able to wrap it up in time tomorrow, doctor,” Dr Boo nods as he turns around from the board, crossing his arms while he throws a slight smile to the older doctor sitting in the swivel chair to his side.

Dr Hong replies with a nod before chuckling, “Yes, as you’ll be there.

“I have nothing to worry about since I’ll be having the genius Dr Kwannie with me in the room,” he gives the young doctor a playful smirk, watching as his face turns into a scandalized expression with a scoff just waiting to pass his lips.

“Wh-What? Not you too.”

Dr Xu clamps his lips, not wanting to let the giggles out but Dr Boo notices and clicks his tongue good-naturedly as he groans inwardly, “Did Nurse Han tell you guys about that… _name_?”

“You mean, _pet _name?” Dr Hong accompanies his smirk with a raise of his brows.

The young doctor’s eyes grow wide and it was obvious his cheeks were starting to color. His mouth drops but no comprehensible sounds were made.

Dr Hong decides to spare the younger from any more teasing, so he just laughs as he lay his back on the backrest of the leather chair, “No no, I just heard it around.”

“Well, I would be glad if you could ‘_un-heard’_ it,” Dr Boo says with a roll of his eyes, crossing his arms tighter.

“Why not. It’s adorable,” the older doctor teases, “I have no problem and no intention of reporting any inter-office romance affairs to the HR if that’s what you’re worried of,” he chuckles.

Before Dr Boo could retaliate any further and deny the pink flush of his cheeks, the older doctor turns to the resident who was silently keeping his laughter in, just standing to the side, “Oh, before I forget. Minghao?”

Dr Xu straighten himself up, “Yes, Dr Hong?”

“Remind Mingyu that he doesn’t get a free pass for snacks or any food at all during the party later. He’s going to have to fast to prepare for the surgery tomorrow morning,” Dr Hong explains, tone serious but gentle.

Dr Hong Jisoo was never the instructive and demanding superior that Minghao ever had any worries for during his pre-residency days. The instructor was kind, soft-spoken but firm enough with his words that everyone took him seriously, respected him greatly. He was very experienced for his age too, at only 34 he was already the head of pediatrics and in line to become a division director as soon as his papers were published.

Even after almost half the pediatrics staffroom emptied due to the hospital’s effort in scaling down, Dr Hong had managed to pull the team together and guided them in doing their best to prioritize keeping their patients in check.

He never actually mentioned it but everyone knew he was working hard to rise up the ladder quickly too, just so he could rehire all the doctors and mostly nurses that were unfairly laid off.

Dr Xu admired Dr Hong. His calm and relaxed demeanor when dealing with any cases at all, really putting everyone, patients, their families and other personnel at ease. He was a perfect example of a good doctor.

The resident nods before replying, “I’ve told Mrs Kim, but I will be sure to remind him personally. I hope he won’t be too disappointed. The other kids were so excited about the party and the show.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He was more wary about us coming to work on Christmas,” Dr Hong smiles, thinking off how the young boy was so considerate for his age. He looks up to Dr Xu with a proud look in his eyes, “But I also need to commend you for your efforts, Minghao. The party and the whole caroling show was a wonderful idea. I’m glad the children have something to really look forward to lately.”

Dr Boo agrees, “Yeah, I’ve heard from the other ped doctors that the kids were actually excited to go for their chemo and physio for once.”

Dr Hong hums, “Talking about how they need to be healthy so that they could participate, right? Really great job, Minghao.”

“Oh no, no. I can’t take the credit. It was basically all Wonwoo’s idea. I just helped with the permission and _actual _execution part of it,” Dr Xu explains how he was the one under the 9-year-old’s command anyways and the older doctor nods, completely agreeing with the power the little boy has over all of them.

At the mention of Jeon Wonwoo, Dr Boo’s eyes bright up, like he remembered something.

After finishing up their discussion, Dr Xu bows slightly before pushing the door open and holding it for Dr Boo to leave as well, “I’ll take my leave then, doctor,” he says to Dr Hong.

“Yes, thank you Minghao,” Dr Hong says but then he turns his head to the side and realizes Dr Boo not budging from his position.

The doctor nods to Dr Xu, signaling for him to leave first, “Oh you go on ahead, I need to talk to Dr Hong about something.”

“Oh, alright doctor,” Dr Xu says, warily. He lets the door close behind him slowly as he hears Dr Boo thank him before talking to the older doctor.

“Dr Hong, about your patient, Jeon Wonwoo-”

Now, Dr Xu never eavesdrops. He’s not particularly interested in gossip or anything of the sort. If he walks into a room and hears the nurses gushing about how cute Dr Boo and Hansol are together, he would walk back out and not concern himself with the information.

But this was Jeon Wonwoo, one of _his_ patients, and also the one that helped him out a lot when he got assigned here. Also, why is a doctor from surgery so invested in a case from pediatrics? He believes he should do what ‘normal people’ usually do in this situation and stick around. So he steps to the side and rests his back against the wall, trying to listen in onto their conversation.

He catches Dr Boo explaining, “I came in contact with the specialist center in Switzerland I was talking about the other day.”

Specialist center? For Wonwoo?

“They say they want to try his case out,” he hears the excitement in Dr Boo’s voice.

Dr Xu blinks, trying to process the information. He _has_ heard about a newly established specialist research center in Switzerland that picks up rare medical cases. They’ve only been around a couple of years but they’ve put out massive positive research outcomes and throughout the years, had dozens of successful patients walking out, healthy.

It’s something expected of a research facility that is made-up of master surgeons and doctors, Nobel-winning physiologist and scientists, just the cream of the crop of the science and medicine world.

Which is why, Dr Xu isn’t too surprised that they would catch interest in Jeon Wonwoo’s case.

What he worries most is that, yes, the little boy might have a chance to recover and all, but at what cost? He’ll be researched on, experimented, tested, put under dozens clinical trials and under observation. Living his life under a microscope.

Just like, a test subject.

The thought of it breaks Dr Xu’s heart.

He can hear the surprise and hesitance in Dr Hong’s voice, “Thank you, Seungkwan, but we both know the boy probably won’t be able to endure the entire trip there now, could he?”

“That’s the thing, they’ve figured that out too. It can work!” Dr Boo exclaims and Dr Xu can hear how he reels himself back to calm himself from getting too worked up.

“He’s unstable, more so with him just starting a new chemo drug three months ago. This is his longest streak too, for the longest time now. He’s actually showing positive reactions to this one, so we need to keep our eye on him.”

“Dr Hong, they’ve sent in the files of a very similar case with the boy and it’s definitely been proven. It’s enough of a base as a precedence.”

Dr Hong is quiet and Dr Xu bites his bottom lip. He wants to agree with Dr Boo but he understands the reservations Dr Hong has as well. He _has _treated Jeon Wonwoo for so long, seen him through his worst and watched over how the boy recovers slowly but steadily each time.

“If I’m being frank, doctor, we both know him constantly showing chemotherapy resistance to basically all of the drugs we’ve tried with him will eventually be hopeless. He won’t stay young for long. His body will need to catch up with his growth and by just replacing the drugs each time he shows a reaction to them… it won’t be much time before his body fully rejects chemotherapy altogether and his immune system shuts him down. We can’t fix him with what we have. He needs new treatments doctor, and you and I both know it’s now or, well… never.”

Dr Boo continues, with almost a plea in his voice, “Their treatment could really prolong his life, really keep him clean… for at least a few more years-”

“Then what, doctor?” Dr Hong stops the young doctor, sounding frustrated himself. He sighs, “The boy’s already suffered enough… trials.” He shakes his head before continuing, “Even if he can be clean for a few years, how much more tests will he have to go through first? And then that few more years, he’ll just keep being ‘experimented’ on? It’s a never-ending cycle.”

Dr Boo sighs this time, “A few more years, for us to bet on medicine evolving again. For us to hope that he’ll be in time for a breakthrough that might… actually work. He’s already in an infinite loop of unsuccessful chemo right now and we can’t just let it go on if there’s a chance for him to actually get off it for once.”

He shakes his head, “This sort of opportunity doesn’t come along all the time, doctor. I don’t want to pass up any chance of saving this boy’s life, in one way or the other.”

Dr Hong could tell Dr Boo was taking it personally. Like it was on him to save Wonwoo, “What aren’t you telling me?”

The younger doctor is silent for a beat before he says, “They offered me to join their research team,” he grits his teeth, “And I want to bring Jeon Wonwoo with me.”

Dr Xu swallows, Dr Boo almost sounds angry, maybe just frustrated for sure. A difficult case to treat is always a tense topic between the doctors. The feelings that borders the line of hopelessness and frustrations at their own shortcomings due to the limitations of medicine. He understands both Dr Boo’s feeling of urgency to save the life, but also Dr Hong’s hesitance from years having witnessed the life just struggling to hold on.

But he also knows Dr Hong sees the same picture, he wants Jeon Wonwoo to recover as well despite the many, many hurdles he may have to overcome to get there.

Dr Hong let’s out a loud sigh as it goes muffled when he covers his face.

Dr Xu could hear the silence grow in the room as the older doctor sorts his thoughts.

A nurse passes by in front of Dr Xu and he bows, throwing her a convincing smile. He hopes she doesn’t notice the tension he’s carrying or question why he’s just hanging around in front of Dr Hong’s office in the first place.

“When?” Dr Hong breaks the silence after what had seemed like hours.

“Two months.”

“I’ll…” Dr Hong nods, “I’ll talk to his parents.”

××××

** _Dec_2019_ **

“Hyung when’s your fiancé coming?” Soonyoung asks as he places the cake onto the table they (mostly Chan) have set up in the middle of the cafe.

There were rows of red, green and gold streamers decorating the ceilings and the storefront windows. The tables and chairs were pushed aside, save for the largest one that could accommodate eight people – they left that as is and decided they would just settle on eating there. The rustic wooden furniture was topped with food and drinks that they all brought in. Three boxes of chicken, a couple boxes of pizza, cans of beer, two champagne bottles and a bunch of desserts all looking delicious and just waiting to be consumed.

Seokmin swallowed when he saw the mouthwatering amount of food laid out on the table, turning his attention to the eldest in the room instead, “Yeah hyung, I thought you were finally introducing us to your one and only Jeonghan? I think you’ve been talking about him for as long as I’ve known you but I’ve never actually seen him in person.”

“Neither have we! Which explains why there’s a running bet between me and Junhui that the man isn’t real,” Soonyoung teases and jumps away when Seungcheol got up from his chair to pinch at the man’s side.

“My vote is on real btw,” Junhui interrupts nonchalantly.

Soonyoung chuckles before continuing to tease the elder, “If he’s _actually _real then at least Chan should’ve seen him before.”

“I _have_ seen him before. Don’t include me in that ‘we’,” Chan says calmly while he passes a green balloon to Mingyu who was on tall people duties. (You know, putting up the streamers and balloons and lights.)

“What? You’ve seen him before?! And never told us? Two years since I’ve known you, Chan and you never thought about revealing to us this _crucial_ information?

“What’s he like?” Soonyoung exclaims while taking a seat at the end of the table, beside Junhui who was already munching on one of the bags of potato chips. He hears Seungcheol click his tongue and throw him a glare, so he slowly places the bag down and put his hands on his laps instead.

“Of course, I’ve seen him. Cheol-hyung can’t be engaged with just anyone. It’s obviously someone I approve of and know very well! Like I said before, you were the one who started the entire conspiracy yourself.”

“Well, if he’s actually real then why is it that every time he was supposed to bring him to the café, ‘Jeonghan-hyung’,” he expresses in air quotes, “suddenly cancels, hm?”

“If you’ve never seen hyung’s fiancé before, how did you even know it was a _him _in the first place, Soonyoung?” a deep voice asks, causing the blonde to whip his head around.

Wonwoo comes out of the back room carrying a large white coat in his hands, his face flushed, clearly looking a lot warmer now than when he had walked in with Mingyu earlier.

Everyone’s eyes were on Wonwoo, clear worried expressions painted on their faces.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, telling them he’s fine as he walks over to Mingyu and passes the man his coat. Mingyu had put it on him after their dramatic, under-the-snow sort-of-reconciliation bit half an hour ago.

The taller wrapping his arms around Wonwoo, trying to keep him warm as he kicks the front door to the café open and howled at Soonyoung to ‘crank the temp up, Wonwoo hyung is dying omygoshh!’

Which had earned him a weak slap in the chest from the elder as Mingyu walked him to the backroom and lowered him gently onto the sofa, only leaving once he’d buried Wonwoo under the bunch of blankets Soonyoung had passed him – which was apparently kept there in the backroom for some reason.

Soonyoung whispered into Mingyu’s ears later that Seokmin had just told him about Wonwoo’s past conditions the other day and so he’s a little worried about Wonwoo so he had placed some blankets in the backroom just in case and he’s glad he did because look it came in useful I must be a genius or a fortune teller did I saw this coming–

“Thanks,” Wonwoo says quietly to him as he places the coat in Mingyu’s hands, before walking off to settle on the seat beside Junhui. Completely missing the warm eyes of the younger staring at him.

“Well, to answer your question Wonwoo. In case you couldn’t tell, my gaydar had always informed me Seungcheol-hyung is gay as heck. So obviously, I deducted it was a guy. And Chan basically confirmed it just now, it’s an ‘existing’_ he, _apparently.”

Seungcheol snorts at the exchange, “Well, _he _is definitely a he. And _he _is on his way.

“He just got out of surgery so he’s probably a bit tired. Which is why, I’ll probably have to drive him home after a couple of cheers. Hosh, you have your keys, right? I won’t be staying until lock up,” the man explains, drawing all eyes on him this time.

Soonyoung’s eyes grow wide upon hearing the elder’s words, suddenly he feels bad, “Surgery? Is your fiancé sick, hyung?”

Seungcheol shakes his head immediately, understanding how wrongly he had worded it, “Oh no, no- he’s-”

Just then, the bells on the door chimed and everyone’s head turned to the front door.

Someone wearing a white furry coat with their hood up and cozy-looking beige dad cargo pants, shuffling inside the door and pushing it close quickly. The person stood on the doormat, stomping his feet a little to get rid of the snow on his shoes and patting away the snow that has made its way on his shoulders.

Soonyoung immediately stood up before speaking, sounding a little guilty, “Excuse me, we’re actually clos-”

The person turned immediately to face him and Soonyoung’s jaw dropped. The man was, in lack of words to describe, pretty. Defined features, glowing fair skin, brown eyes, long lashes and pretty tinted lips. It was evident there was age in his skin with the slight lines around his eyes but nevertheless he had look handsome. Everyone was stunned, and not just by the beauty but by the familiarity of those features despite being accentuated with time.

The man’s expression also mirrored the surprised look in all their faces. Well, all but Chan who knows the man and Seungcheol whose bright grin just intensifies as he stood up and briskly walked up to the man, catching him in his embrace.

“Hannie~”

Seokmin covered his mouth as he let out a dramatic gasp, “Nurse Han, is that you?”

“Yes! And oh my god, are my eyes deceiving me or is this my Christmas gift,” he turned to face Seungcheol who had his arms tight around his own shoulders, “Cheol?”

“Not exactly, but I did want you to meet them,” Seungcheol gives him a warm smile.

“Merry Christmas, Hannie-hyung!” Chan interrupts as he makes his way to give the elder a hug, helping him take off his coat and putting it to the side.

“Merry Christmas too, Channie,” Nurse Han says while he pinches the younger’s cheeks.

“Nurse Han!! I missed you so much! How long has it been?!” Seokmin runs over and basically lunges into the older’s embrace, which he accepted happily.

Mingyu, Wonwoo and Junhui stood up as well, following behind in walking up to the crowd forming at the door.

“Kim Mingyu!” the nurse catches the eyes of the tallest with a proud grin, “Look how far you’ve come! I don’t know if I actually have a say in this, but I am extremely proud of you,” Nurse Han hugs him tightly while the actor grins and exclaims how thankful he is.

“Junjun! Merry Christmas, I haven’t seen you since you and Chan were in high school, have I? Thank you for the engagement gift, by the way,” he says and the Chinese man smiles into the hug as well while Soonyoung’s jaw drops into a gasp.

Wonwoo steps up next and he seems a little shy but Nurse Han is quicker to react by pulling the younger in his arms instead, “Wonu-ya! I missed you so much!” he pats the younger’s back gently. He lets Wonwoo unravel slowly in his arms, like the tension bled off completely off him after a couple of seconds in Nurse Han’s warm embrace.

The boys think of how Nurse Han’s calming aura still hasn’t rubbed off and they find themselves already comfortable with him even though it’s been so, so long since they’ve even seen each other.

“Isn’t this great? It’s just like old times!” Chan exclaims as he drags Nurse Han by his arm. He pulls him over to take a seat at the table next to him. Seungcheol trailing behind but losing his spot beside the nurse when Seokmin squeezed in and placed himself in between them instead. Seungcheol groans but seats himself at the far end of the table anyway, murmuring jealous remarks while takes his place.

Nurse Han settles in his seat and reaches out a hand towards Soonyoung who immediately took it with a small bow, “You must be Soonyoung. I’ve heard so much from Cheol and Chan about you. It’s great to finally meet you.”

“Oh, no! It’s _my_ pleasure to finally meet Seungcheol-hyung’s much mentioned ‘Jeonghan’-hyung!”

Wonwoo scoffs as he settles in his seat between Junhui and Mingyu, “You literally just lost your bet, Soonyoung.”

Junhui snickers to his side while Soonyoung shushes the man before throwing a bright smile back to Nurse Han. He turns back to the Chinese man beside him and swatted his arm, “You knew him, didn’t you?!”

Junhui just giggles as he moves closer to Wonwoo’s side, trying to avoid the flailing hand hitting at him. Of course, he knew Nurse Han. Junhui and Chan were glued together all the time from back then until now so he knows their backstory more or less.

“I can’t believe we’re all here again!” Seokmin almost squeals. He turns to Nurse Han with a pout and the man doesn’t hesitate to lean closer to pat the younger’s head softly.

“You haven’t changed one bit. I can’t believe I didn’t meet you earlier, Seokkie,” Nurse Han smiles and coos as Seokmin just snuggles in closer while Seungcheol shakes his head to the side.

“The world is smaller than I thought. When Seokmin told me that he knew Chan and Jun the other day I was shocked. This reunion could’ve happened earlier,” Seungcheol explains with a small chuckle.

“It would’ve happened _sooo_ much earlier if you had just let us meet Jeonghan-hyung in the first place, hyung. Seungcheol-hyung never lets us see you!” Soonyoung complains to the nurse while Seokmin just nods.

“It’s not like I was _forbidding_ you guys to meet him, there was just never an opportunity,” Seungcheol retaliates before they could tattle on him more. “Plus, Hannie is rarely off work and on the days when he _is_, I’d much rather he spends it with me than seeing all of your faces,” the man crosses his arms and nudges Seokmin with his elbow, making him get off his fiancé.

Seokmin releases Nurse Han’s arm which he had clung on to sometime ago and proceeded to open up the food boxes instead, assuming the party is starting soon.

“This can’t be a coincidence, right? How did you two get together, hyung?” Mingyu asks as he passes around the plates for everyone.

“Through me!” Chan exclaims before the mentioned couple could even respond, “Well, kind of. Cheol-hyung took care of me sometimes back then and they met there.”

“We didn’t ask you, you tiny traitor!” Soonyoung threw a potato chip from Junhui’s open bag of chips to the youngest, “And you too!” he throws another one to the man next to him as well, making the others at the table laugh. “Also, that long ago? I thought I remember Chan saying he was only hospitalized for a broken leg?”

“Well, yeah. That’s how we met, but we didn’t date until years after. I think I was a couple of years into university back then when we met,” Seungcheol hums, thinking back as he shakes his head in disbelief, “I was approached by this older nurse hyung and he coerced me into this relationship-”

Nurse Han scoffs, sounding scandalized, “Excuse me! Who was the naïve university student who kept following me around and practically annoyed me into dating him?”

“Me,” Seungcheol grins with a flirty raise in his brows and the others at the table just squealed and groaned and folded their bodies away, cringing at the flirtations the couple were throwing at each other.

“Ugh, I’m glad you two are finally getting married,” Chan shakes his head. “After basically twelve years of flirting and seven years of dating, can you guys believe them?!”

The nurse chuckles, “We just never felt like it was important, y’know? As long as we were together, that was all that mattered,” Nurse Han smiles to his fiancé who simply replies with a warm gaze.

The third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth wheel at the table groans at the couple before Seungcheol silences them all again.

“So why did you guys decide to finally tie the knot?” Mingyu asks again after the table had calmed down.

Nurse Han hums before answering, “Really just for the law part of it? We want to sign our names together and make sure all our decisions are tied with the other too. We want to materialize our bond; I think that’s one way to put it?” he explains while Seungcheol nods, agreeing with his fiancé.

“Wow,” Wonwoo suddenly says, breathless, and everyone’s eyes turn to him, “I think that sounds amazing, hyu- Nurse Han? Congratulations.”

“You can call me hyung, Wonu-ya,” Nurse Han smiles warmly and Wonwoo replies with a small curve of his lips as he returns his eyes to the plates instead, feeling his cheeks warm up a little.

Mingyu clears his throat and exclaims he’s going to call Nurse Han ‘hyung’ too, which was followed by Seokmin’s whines of wanting to do the same before Seungcheol quiets them down and declares it’s time to properly start their party.

They began the party with Seungcheol popping the champagne and Mingyu passing around the food. Chan being the sweet brother-in-law picked out the biggest slice of pizza and pieces of chicken to place onto Nurse Han’s plate. Seokmin also self-appointing himself in charge of the man’s drinks, always keeping his cup full.

Soonyoung turned on some jingles on the café speaker with his phone’s Bluetooth as they all chatted and munched through their dinner. They finished the boxes of pizza and chicken almost immediately, but they didn’t want to bother ordering anymore delivery since it’s snowing out. So they decided to just finish up everything else and those still hungry can go and get food and continue the party elsewhere later after they cleaned up. 

“Wait, before I forget to ask, Chan had a broken leg? I don’t remember you wearing a cast when I met you?” Mingyu suddenly asks. Recalling the details from sixteen years ago.

Wonwoo nods to the side while he sips on his third cup of champagne – which Soonyoung had warned him about it being ‘pretty strong’, so you might wanna slow down, which Wonwoo, of course, disregards with passion.

“Yeah, I thought you were in because of some gastroenteritis problem? You didn’t have a cast on.”

Everyone else at the table turn their eyes to Mingyu and Wonwoo, confusion in their faces before Nurse Han lets out a sound of realization, “Oh… Well, Chan was hospitalized twice and I think you two weren’t there anymore during his second time. I think it was sometime in mid-2004, right Cheol?”

Seungcheol nods slowly and Chan continues after swallowing the piece of chicken he was chewing on, “Wonwoo-hyung and Mingyu-hyung got better and left right after Christmas, right? I think I remember that. You two left the hospital right after the Christmas party.”

At the mention of the Christmas party, the table goes silent.

Chan, oblivious to the atmosphere continues innocently, “Yeah, I remember it now! I was so annoyed too because I fell asleep right before the party. So I didn’t even get to participate in the carol, right? I was looking forward to it too,” the blonde pouts, “Then I woke up and it was already the next day! And you two were already gone, you guys didn’t even say goodbye. How could you, hyungs?

“Wonwoo, hyung?”

Chan watches as Mingyu’s eyes turn to look at Wonwoo who had his mouth clamped shut, his eyes boring holes on the table.

Other than Soonyoung, Chan and Seungcheol, everyone had solemn looks painted on their faces, suddenly tensing up. The three exchanged glances, clearly not quite understanding the backstory, but it was obvious something must’ve happened at the party that they didn’t want to recall.

××××

** _Dec_2003_ **

Nurse Han smiles as he guides some of the parents to take their seats in the waiting area of the pediatric ward where the party was being held. He receives the box of sandwiches one of the parents had handed to him and brings them over to the table where all the other food was placed.

He sees Dr Xu walking towards him with a gloomy look on his face so he walks up to the resident and pinches the man’s cheeks, startling him, “What did I say about making that face around the kids?”

“Ow,” he yelps, “Not to do it?”

Nurse Han nods.

“Did you just return from Dr Hong’s room?”

This time the resident nods and his expression turns sad again once he’s reminded of the conversation, that he had intentionally overhear. Nurse Han chuckles and pats the resident’s back, putting on his motivational speech voice, “Whatever it is, everything will be okay.”

Dr Xu rolls his eyes, “Wow, such inspirational words,” he says, sarcasm thick off his tongue.

“Now, does our doctor book know how to make sarcastic remarks? I am proud! Please tell me you learned from me!” Nurse Han chuckles, causing the resident to roll his eyes again.

“Anyways, you did a wonderful job, _Dr Xu_,” the nurse nudges his head towards the direction of the party.

The room was decorated with a bunch of Christmas decorations. There was also a small Christmas tree towards the side of the makeshift stage – that was really just a large circular greyish carpet in the middle of the waiting room. The kids were all wearing such excitement on their faces as they stood on it in a messy line, waiting for instructions from Wonwoo who was trying to arrange their positions.

“You stand there Seok. You need to sing your part after she does so you’ll stand to her right,” Wonwoo instructs as they all moved accordingly. “Where’s Chan? Wasn’t he supposed to be next to you, Jun?”

Junhui just shrugged and Wonwoo sighed, pushing Junhui to move over and stand in for Chan’s spot as well, “You’ll have to be both, got it?”

“They look ecstatic, don’t they?” a voice came up beside Dr Xu.

“Oh hey, Sol. You don’t have anything right now?”

The resident answers, “Nah, Dr Boo says he’s tired and there’ll be no more surgery tonight so he locked up all the OP rooms,” he chuckles.

Nurse Han laughs, “Kwannie, tired? Impossible.”

“Yeah, he obviously just wants to watch the show too. Typical Kwannie.”

The nurse smirks before turning to face the blonde resident, “So, Hansol.

“What’s the real deal? Are you two dating already or no? I know what I _heard_ in the nap room could just be me interpreting things wrongly but I’d really like to hear it properly from you.”

Dr Chwe nods, “I sure hope we are, after all we’ve done together in that room–”

Nurse Han’s laughter grows louder while Dr Xu’s eyes went wide; he did not need to hear that. But thankfully the resident was stopped before he could even continue by a slap of a hand over his mouth.

Dr Boo appears from behind him, dragging the man away from them, “Excuse me, please just erase everything from your mind.” The doctor drags the blonde resident away from them while throwing a dirty glare towards Nurse Han. He pulls them far enough their conversation was inaudible but Dr Xu could see how the blonde resident was continuously shaking his head, not wanting to listen to the doctor while he kept on complaining wildly in front of him.

“Nurse Han, I think you already know they are, why did you ask that?” The Chinese resident asks.

“Because I noticed Dr Boo walking up behind us,” the nurse snickers and Dr Xu prays in his mind he never ever has to go up against this slick of a man as he gulps, before taking a step to the side, furthering himself away from said man.

“Oh,” the nurse suddenly says and Dr Xu stiffens. Did he realize him stepping away from him?

He gulps again before he turns to look at Nurse Han, but he sees him looking over to the other hallway opposed to where they were. The hallway led towards the waiting room as well. He looks over in the same direction and was surprised himself to see the small figure who was slowly walking up towards the room.

“Kim Mingyu’s here,” Nurse Han whispers and Dr Xu nods. They watch the boy walk over and stand silently behind the crowd of spectators made up of doctors, nurses, parents and some patients too. The boy was lifting his head occasionally, sometimes standing on his tippy toes to catch a glimpse of the party. “Is he joining them?” The nurse asks again.

“I’m not sure, but I think Wonwoo said he’s still not comfortable showing himself in front of everyone. He’s only spent time with some of them and even then, they’ve only played in his room,” Dr Xu explains.

Nurse Han hums, “At least he’s come to watch. Wonwoo must really mean something to him, hm?” he says with a smile and Dr Xu could only agree.

They see Kim Mingyu turn to face their way and all of a sudden, his eyes widen in horror as he steps back hurriedly and trips on himself. Falling on his bottom as he tries to drag himself away.

Dr Xu and Nurse Han was shocked at the reaction. Why does he look terrified of them?

“Gyu?” Mingyu’s mother’s voice sounds as she appears from a different hallway. She jogs up to sit by his side, catching him from dashing off in a state of panic, “What’s wrong, honey?”

She tries to calm him down but he kept on shaking his head as he pulled her towards him, as if he was trying to hide behind her. She lifts her head in the direction where he was looking at before and her mouth drops as well.

Dr Xu and Nurse Han turn their heads around to see a man just getting off the stairs, heading fast towards their direction. Mingyu wasn’t reacting to seeing Dr Xu or Nurse Han, it was the man. He saw the man from afar walking towards him. It was the man who Mingyu was terrified of.

Nurse Han didn’t need any more hints before he immediately steps to the side as soon as the man draws near. He stood right in the middle, completely blocking the man’s path. He holds him by the shoulder harshly, preventing him from going any further.

“Hello sir, may I help you with anything,” he says with a dark tone whilst maintaining the obligatory smile and composure in his expression.

The man looks taken aback but his brows furrow, clearly looking annoyed, “No. I’m fine,” he says, cold as he tries to push past Nurse Han. The man was clearly taller and built larger than Nurse Han so he probably thought he could just push his way through.

But Nurse Han isn’t the Assistant Head Nurse for no reason, so he grips the shoulder tighter and locks his footing, pulling the man back to where he was standing. The man clenches his teeth and lets out an annoyed grunt.

Nurse Han was still wearing the fake smile as he looks up to the man, clearly not approving of his presence in there, “I believe you’re exactly welcomed here,” he says, voice low. “Mr Kim?”

Mr Kim raises an eyebrow, before furrowing them. He knows _why_ Nurse Han is hostile towards him. He switches then, seemingly angry now, “I don’t think it’s any of your business what I do with my son. Now, you better step aside before I–”

Dr Xu also steps in behind Nurse Han, backing him up.

The man scoffs again, probably thinking Dr Xu’s tall and lean frame is nothing he can’t get through when compared to his bulkier build. He was about to open his mouth again before two other men stepped up at either of his sides.

“What may seem to be the problem here, Nurse Han?” Dr Boo says, voice calm but it was clear to all of them he was not happy with the situation. He looks up to the taller man with a disinterested scowl at which the man turned away from, looking annoyed again.

They were actually dealing with the situation quietly there, not wanting to make a commotion when there is a crowd going in the waiting room just to the side.

Dr Xu turns around to check on Kim Mingyu to see him still cowering and shaking behind his mother, clawing at her clothing as she glares at the man they were holding back.

The man tried to shake Nurse Han’s hand off him again but before he could successfully shrug him off, Dr Xu aided with a hand to the man’s shoulder as well. Dr Chwe also lifting his hand to grab the man’s arm in an intentionally tight grip, “I think I should take you to a different place to talk, sir,” he managed to sound hostile while being monotonous with his tone.

If Dr Xu or Nurse Han didn’t intimidate the man, Dr Chwe’s death grip and lower tone definitely showed him this was not someone he could easily take. The man didn’t give up however and tried to push through anyway, but he didn’t budge, obviously.

He groans again as the blonde resident harshly tugged at his forearm towards him, “I won’t remind you twice.”

Dr Chwe disregarded any formality completely and Dr Xu was honestly surprised. He didn’t think the nonchalant and playful resident could sound so serious and who knew he was definitely stronger than he looks.

Nevertheless, this was the man that had caused the bruises on the little boy’s body and none of them were going to let him get anywhere near the boy.

“Ok, hey! Stay still!” Wonwoo’s voice comes up again above all the chatters and all eyes turn their attention on the boy. He adjusts the red beanie he has on his head and steps back to look at the group so he could check and continue to arrange their position again, “Before we start, I think we should put…”

His voice trails out.

Dr Xu tenses when he hears the boy’s voice go silent.

Nurse Han also slowly let go of the man, knowing Dr Chwe and Dr Xu has their grip on him. He steps closer into the crowd, slowly clearing a path for himself. _He senses it too._

“Wonwoo?” One of the kids voices out.

_Something is wrong._

The boy’s hand fell to his side limply and the score sheet he was holding dropped to the floor, scattering all over the front of his slippers.

A drop.

Then two.

And then they kept dropping as if they were supposed to be keeping a rhythm.

Everyone was stunned as they witnessed how the white sheet of paper on the ground began soaking up the many, many droplets of red falling on top of it.

“Wonwoo’s nose is bleeding!” A girl’s voice suddenly cries.

After the piercing shriek, the room was filled with shocking gasps as Wonwoo’s small body suddenly collapsed to the floor. He was trembling, no, full on shaking. He was spasming to the point where his head was starting to hit the floor, his seizure shaking his small body violently.

Nurse Han was swift enough to navigate through the crowd quickly as he manages to rush in, placing his arms under the boy’s head before he could really hurt himself. Wonwoo’s head began alternating hits against the nurse’s forearm and chest instead, cushioning him from any real harm. The room went into chaos from the screaming and crying of the children who were terrified by the scene going on in front of their eyes.

“Minghao!” Dr Boo exclaims as he also runs into the room before dropping on his knees right beside the convulsing child. He held the boy’s wrist and checked on his pulse on his neck, “Pulse abnormal too,” he says as Dr Xu rushes into the room leaving Dr Chwe to forcefully drag Mr Kim off into a different room.

“Nurse Han-”

“Sedative, right? On it. Take over please, Hao,” Nurse Han says gently as he lifts the boy’s head with his arm to let Dr Xu’s arms slip under instead, switching their places so Nurse Han could run off and get the medications. One of the nurses were quick to react and had already pushed in the medicine trolley, so he thanks them before quickly preparing the shot and immediately handing it over to Dr Boo.

“Alright, little one. I’ll let you sleep for a bit, okay?” he says as he pushes the needle into Wonwoo’s forearm, injecting the sedative into the child’s bloodstream.

“He was fine just seconds ago, what happened?” Dr Xu grits his teeth as he watches the boy in his arms slowly lose consciousness. His movements getting less violent before it gradually goes limp by the seconds. The trail of blood on the front of his mouth and chin, were now trails of blood running down the sides of his cheeks as well. Some of the boy’s blood even splattered onto Nurse Han’s white uniform and Dr Xu’s scrubs.

The room fell quiet as the children were also successfully calmed down by their parents and the other nurses. Only quiet whimpers and small sobs were heard as the panic began to settle down.

Dr Boo breathes out, under his breath, “That’s just how children work, the unpredictability is terrifying.”

“Mingyu!” Mrs Kim’s voice echoed the hallway and their eyes turned to her.

“I’ll check on her,” Nurse Han volunteers, speeding off to find Mrs Kim as another nurse had took the initiative and brought in a stretcher for Wonwoo.

The silence was like a graveyard when they transported Wonwoo onto the stretcher.

The other kids just watching with tears brimming their eyes. All of their eyes follow him when the nurses pushed the unconscious boy into an isolated room at the very end of the hallway. Dr Xu sees the colors in them, hopeful, worry and disappointed all blended together in a puddle that is the shock in their eyes.


	12. I haven’t lost the happy memories to the rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finallyyy, the start of the relationship! Kind of lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All hail 'KIM CEO' for being such zaddy fanfic material

** _Dec_2003_ **

“Mr Kim is in hold in one of the rooms here. We have a security guard and Dr Chwe standing by with him. We won’t let him go near Mingyu,” Nurse Han explains softly to Mrs Kim as he passes a bottle of water for her to take.

“I was distracted. He must’ve been so scared that he ran away,” Mrs Kim sighs as she wipes the tears from her eyes. “Please help me find him,” she pleads and Nurse Han nods.

“He can’t leave the hospital, so we’ll find him soon, I’m sure,” the nurse tries to soothe the mother’s worry.

When the commotion happened, Mingyu had apparently slipped out of his mother’s hold, running off and hiding somewhere. The whole hospital has been informed to look out for him and report back to pediatrics if they saw him, but it has been 45 minutes and there were no updates yet.

“How’s Wonu?” Mrs Kim asks, remembering the scene of the poor child from before. “Are his parents here yet?”

Nurse Han hums softly, shaking his head, “They’re informed. But… his parents haven’t checked up on him for a while now,” he smiles despite knowing it himself, how sad it sounds, “They just pay the bills and leave the rest to us. It’s been that way for years.”

Mrs Kim closes her eyes, feeling sorry for the boy as she wipes yet another stream of tear from her eyes, “My dear Wonu-ya,” she breathes out yet another exasperated sigh as she covers her face with her hands.

“Which is why, you should never doubt yourself, Mrs Kim. You are a wonderful mother,” Nurse Han assures her before eventually excusing himself to go check up on Wonwoo.

As Nurse Han walks towards the isolation room, he passes by the waiting room where the atmosphere had turned into the complete opposite from before. It was gloomy, with the children just sitting around and murmuring quietly among themselves.

One of the girls saw Nurse Han walking by and catches him, “Nurse Han!”

He turns around and crouches down to meet her eye, “Yes, sweetheart?”

“Will Wonwoo be able to sing today?” she asks and little Seokmin also runs up behind her, the hope sparkling in his wide eyes.

He looks up to see all the other kids gathering close, wearing similar expressions. It breaks his heart, but he never lies to the kids so he shakes his head slowly, “I don’t think Wonwoo can do it today.”

One of the kids started sobbing and soon enough most of them was a crying mess. Seokmin sniffles, holding in the sobs while he wipes the tears from his eyes, “Hyung was looking forward to it the most. Seok is sad...” he wipes and wipes but the tears kept falling.

To the side Junhui was already sitting cross-legged on the floor, clamping his lips together comically while puffing his cheeks, clearly trying not to cry. “Guys! Don’t cry! Wonwoo says crying is for babies! We’re going to grow up, aren’t we? We’re not babies anymore!” he exclaims while he wipes the snot from his nose.

None of them noticed Kim Mingyu hiding inside the nurse station beside them silently begin sobbing as well.

When Wonwoo had collapsed, he watched the scene with horrified eyes. His heart dropped and he was so scared he didn’t know what to do. When he looked up and saw the man again, he blanked out again and his instinct just told him to run. He didn’t want anyone to find him and take him back to his father. He was scared, so he kept on running and hiding away when people called out to him. Until he realized he had wound up back to the waiting room again.

His legs brought him back there.

He wanted to see Wonwoo.

_Is Wonwoo okay?_

Which was when he saw Nurse Han walking away from his mother. He decided to follow him from afar before he saw the kids started talking to him. He’s still terrified of talking to them, so he quickly slipped behind the nurse station and hid under the tables instead. He had heard them talking before he started crying too.

He cries and cries.

He’s not even sure why anymore. Maybe he was afraid of being pushed back to his father. What if his mother thinks he’s too much of a hassle and decides to leave him with the man? He’s also nervous about his surgery tomorrow. He heard some of the nurses talking about how difficult a surgery it is and he might even lose his voice completely if they mess up.

Mingyu doesn't care about his voice.

No… he _does_ care.

If he loses his voice then he can’t sing anymore. Wonwoo can’t listen to him sing anymore.

_Wonwoo._

Maybe he’s most terrified he won’t be able to see Wonwoo anymore. What if he doesn’t wake up?

Before he realized it, his muffles weren’t even quiet anymore. He had probably started bawling before he even realized it.

Which is why when he finally looks up, he sees Nurse Han crouching at the side of the table, looking at him with a comforting smile.

So he cries even louder.

Nurse Han opens his arms and lets the boy take his time to crawl himself out and into his embrace. He pats the boy in his arms gently while all the other kids that had gathered around look over from the sides of the counters.

“Do you want to see him, Mingyu-ya?” he asks softly and he feels Mingyu’s immediate nod on his shoulder.

“Alright, let’s go.”

××××

Nurse Han held Mingyu’s hand all the way to the isolation room. They two of them stand quietly outside the door and Mingyu watches through the glass. The tears streaming down his face not stopping even more when he sees the boy in the red beanie lay unconscious on the bed. The red from the blood that ran down his nose not going away even when the nurses had already wiped them, tinting his pale skin.

He sees Dr Boo inside the room, reading up a chart handed to him by a nurse.

“It’s back,” Dr Boo says, quiet. “He’s relapsing. The drug didn’t work, again.” The doctor covers his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair as he let his head drop. Dr Xu, looking equally as deflated, steps back to lean his back against the wall. He sighs, quickly wiping a stray tear that ran down his cheek.

“Hyung…”

Nurse Han hears Mingyu’s small voice beside him and the boy’s grip on his hand tighten so he squeezes back.

Their eyes turn immediately towards the side when they hear footsteps rushing their way. They see Dr Hong walking quickly in their direction. His face was gloomy, which was an incredibly rare sight for the doctor.

His eyes met with Nurse Han and they exchanged understanding glances as Dr Hong rushes past them, slipping into the isolation ward.

Nurse Han pats Mingyu’s head softly, “We should go. Your mum is waiting. Do you want to see your-”

Before Nurse Han could say anything else, Mingyu had managed to yank his hand free out of the nurse’s grip and sped off again. “Mingyu!” The nurse exclaims with a sigh as he steps off to chase after the boy.

Dr Hong slides the door close behind him once he steps into the room. The two other doctors look over to him with defeated looks on their faces.

The older doctor walks over to the side of the bed and brings his hand to the boy’s head, correcting the red beanie on his head gently. He watches the boy’s steady but heavy breathing through his oxygen mask. His chest rising and dipping heavily as the sedative works its way, guiding him into a calmer slumber.

“This severe of a reaction hasn’t happened in two years,” he says with a sigh but his face was wearing a warmer expression than before. The doctor nudges the side of Wonwoo’s cheek gently with the back of his fingers. “Such a challenge this one,” he chuckles lightly before continuing with a small shake of his head, “But always the fighter.”

Dr Xu bites the inside of his cheek to control the stream of tears just threatening to spill from his eyes. He looks up and tries to blink them away but it doesn’t work and it falls anyway. Rolling off his cheeks to his chin and right onto his blue scrubs, staining them with wet marks.

Dr Boo also clamps his lips and could only manage to look down. He had some hopes maybe the chemo drug they used this time would be the one that worked for Wonwoo too. The possibility of it was strong since he hasn’t been showing too severe reactions to the other drugs and it had been four years since his last relapse. He was slowly getting better. But now it turns out that it was another failure and now the boy is back to zero again.

There’s the saying amongst cancer survivors that relapses are like a curse just waiting to happen, and it’s a terrifying thing. It affects their quality of life, overall, just nesting itself in the back of their mind, driving them into worrying about the possibility that they might fall sick again today, or tomorrow or the next day.

Some manage to shake it off them and live their life to their fullest, but some who are not fortunate enough to be able to cast the worry aside may eventually get thrown into a depressive state of mind, just waiting to consume them from the inside out.

It is visible to everyone that Jeon Wonwoo was within the brighter side of the spectrum, positively carrying himself throughout his treatments. No matter how many times he has had to change his chemotherapy methods, shaving his hair each cycle because new drugs meant his hair just falling off, swallowing dozens of pills three times daily for the past nine years of his life. And even throughout the past two relapses he’s had in his life, he’s pushed through all of them with the brightest smile on his face.

And Dr Hong had witnessed the entire thing.

This is why his only worry for Jeon Wonwoo was that one day the boy might lose the will to fight and surrender to the circumstances thrown at him. If one day he gets fed up with the pills and checkups and chemotherapy and just becomes, well, tired.

“I think you deserve the option more than anyone, don’t you?” Dr Hong says softly towards the unconscious boy lying on the bed, catching the attention of the two other doctors in the room.

He breathes, “I also believe it’s time we take the next step with Wonwoo.

“I just got off the phone with his parents,” he pauses and Dr Boo stands straighter, eyes hopeful. “They say as long as it is funded, they’ll agree to whatever we want for him,” Dr Hong explains.

He brings his eyes up and let them meet with the expecting eyes of Dr Boo. He smiles warmly, but his eyes were sad when he said it, “I’ll be leaving him under your care, Seungkwan. Please take care of him.”

××××

** _Dec_2019_ **

Mingyu almost jumps out of his chair when he feels something cold and wet being pressed up to his cheek. He leans away and places his hand on the spot where he was violated while he turns to look at what was going on to his side.

Wonwoo was holding out a glass of cold champagne in his hand with a sleepy look on his face. He has on a small pout which was honestly, super adorable and Mingyu tries not to squeal while he wipes the water from the condensation left on his cheek.

The elder is still holding out the drink to his face and he tries shoving the glass at him again but Mingyu manages to catch the elder’s arm and take the drink off his hand.

“You’re drunk, hyung.”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow, like he’s angry, but his lips were pouting again, like he’s sulking, “And you’re not!”

Mingyu chuckles at how drunk Wonwoo is still just as cranky but maybe two hundred times more adorable, “Yes, because I drove here, hyung. I told you,” he says as he places the glass on the table – but over on where Seungcheol’s seat was before – further away from Wonwoo’s reach.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan had left about an hour prior so there were only six of them at the party left. Mingyu glances down to his watch to look at the time. It was already past eleven and he actually had thought about going home before twelve so he could call his mother. She’d mention wanting to talk to him sometime during the weekends.

He looks up and over to how Chan was comically rambling about some dance-related thing to both Junhui and Soonyoung on the other side of the table. Soonyoung and Chan looking equally drunk and giggly. Junhui seems tipsy too but he was still looking somewhat sane.

The only sobers at the table were Mingyu and Seokmin, the ones who drove to the café. But the latter always acts borderline plastered anyway so he blends right in with the other three.

He considers making his move since the others didn’t seem like they were going to leave anytime soon. Mingyu turns to the seat on his right again to see Wonwoo already beginning to doze off, his head bobbing back and forth.

Right after the third nod, he blinks his eyes open all of a sudden before he reaches forward in a flash to snatch a piece of uneaten cheeseball from Mingyu’s plate. His brows furrow in anger like Mingyu had stolen something from him as he pops the piece of fried food into his mouth, all the while maintaining (a rather hazy) eye contact with the younger.

“You can leave, Gyu. And you should take Wonu home while you’re at it. He might pass out soon,” Junhui snorts while he pushes at Wonwoo’s shoulder, who was already starting to doze off again, cheeseball still halfway chewed in his mouth.

Mingyu could only laugh at the sight.

“We’re all crashing at my place later and he’s the kind of person who has to sleep in his own bed or he can’t fall asleep or something like that- although he’s sleeping fine here I don’t know whatever, but he’ll wanna go home so,” Junhui continues while he waves his hand around like he’s shooing them away.

Mingyu is more than glad to take up the offer of going home early (and maybe send Wonwoo home) but he also considers sticking around to help the other sober one, Seokmin, when he has to move the crowd elsewhere later. And right then as if Seokmin could sense his concern, he’s met with the man’s acknowledging nod, “Don’t worry, I think I can handle them. And Junhui doesn’t seem too smashed. You can go on ahead. You have to prepare for that dinner party thingy tomorrow too, right?”

“Oh,” Mingyu is reminded of his wrap-up party happening tomorrow night, “Yeah but I’ll only have to prepare in the evening-”

He turns to Junhui again and the man gives a thumbs up with his eyelids half-open. So Mingyu assumes if Junhui could respond, then he’s probably sober _enough, _right?

So he stands up and moves around to pick up his and Wonwoo’s coats, “Alright, I’ll take my leave then. You have his address?”

“Course!” Junhui pulled out his phone to send the location directly to Mingyu’s number. He sends in an eggplant emoji as well which Mingyu doesn’t have the energy to question why.

“Thanks,” he says when he returns to the table, both coats in his hands. He pulls Wonwoo up to his feet and forces the two coats on him all the while Wonwoo protest that it’s too hot as he fights Mingyu’s hands, trying to take it off him. “You won’t say that when you’re outside. Stay put, hyung.”

He manages to dress the elder in the coats and locks his arms around the elder’s shoulder so that he can support him up while also, basically force him to move. “I’ll see you guys soon. Bye guys,” he says to the people at the table while he drags Wonwoo out of the café. Only Seokmin and Junhui reply, of course, because Chan and Soonyoung were too hammered and just kept chattering and giggling.

After a couple minutes of walking, Mingyu had managed to basically heave Wonwoo along with him towards his car on the other side of the block. He also – in a way that can be described as – _shoved_ the elder into the car and buckled him up, before getting into the driver’s seat with a sigh, shrugging off the chills from being in the cold without a proper outer. The beige long sleeve shirt he was wearing proving to be too thin for the weather. He’s not _that_ cold though, Wonwoo definitely needs the extra layer more than he does because the elder only truly relaxes once he’s inside the car, cozying himself with the warmth provided by the heater. Other than the continuous whining Wonwoo kept murmuring along the way, Mingyu would say it was a success so far.

He punches the location he received on his GPS from Junhui and drives them to Wonwoo’s house.

××××

Wonwoo’s apartment was on the third floor of a small building in an area located about 15 minutes away from the café. It was nothing extravagant but it had looked like it was in a good part of town, so that cleared off any worry Mingyu could possibly think up for the elder.

Mingyu parks the car at a vacant spot near the side of the building before he turns to the man sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Looking really comfy being stuffed in the double coats. So much for _can’t sleep on his own bed._

He breathes out a laugh and taps the elder’s thighs gently, which wakes Wonwoo up immediately because he is a light sleeper, now that Mingyu recalls.

The younger is suddenly hit with a strum of nostalgia as he remembers how they used to sleep on the same bed in the hospital. Sometimes with Wonwoo falling asleep at the end of his bed whenever they hung out and Mingyu just sitting there, quietly to avoid accidentally waking up the elder who always looked so peaceful in his sleep.

“Gyu?” Wonwoo voices out. His voice is deep and a little hoarse. He looks confused but Mingyu could tell he’s sobered up, maybe just a tiny bit.

“We’re outside your apartment. Jun-hyung gave me your address to send you back.”

Wonwoo blinks, trying to process the words that were said to him before he finally nods, slow. He closes his eyes and groans because he could already feel the hangover just ready to greet him tomorrow morning.

“Alright, let me help you out,” Mingyu says before unbuckling Wonwoo’s and his own seatbelt, then getting out the car to walk over to the other side.

The younger opens the car door and places his hand under Wonwoo’s arm, supporting him as he slowly gets out the car. Mingyu lets go once he’s sure the elder could stand properly on his own, “All good?”

Wonwoo nods wobbly and Mingyu smiles.

The elder glances at the entrance to his apartment before returning his gaze to the taller man standing beside him. He notices the younger not wearing a coat and his hands were shoved in the pockets of his pants. Mingyu is cold. And he doesn’t need to look at himself to know he’s wearing Mingyu’s coat again.

The taller sees Wonwoo glance at his apartment entrance again and back to him so he asks with a chuckle, “Do you want me to help you upstairs too, hyung?”

For a moment Mingyu regrets saying that because that might be way too intimate for some people and they’ve only properly (somewhat) made up a couple of hours ago. Not to mention the fact that Wonwoo is still drunk and confused, it could’ve sounded pushy for him to want to send Wonwoo all the way up. He was about to take it back before he sees Wonwoo nod once.

And again.

He nods while wearing a blank look on his face and his eyes weren’t really focused on anything but Mingyu can’t help but find that cute as well. _When did this hyung get so adorable?_

It’s probably the alcohol but he doesn’t mind this side of Wonwoo at all. He should ask the elder out for drinks sometimes. This isn’t a bad sight at all, Mingyu thinks while another smile involuntarily forms on his lips.

“I’ll make you some tea,” Wonwoo says, voice quiet and unstable. “You must be cold. I’m sorry I stole your coat.”

Mingyu’s mouth makes an ‘o’ because he just realized why Wonwoo had looked somewhat hesitant, “It’s really okay, hyung,” he explains and Wonwoo just blinks. “Come on. We shouldn’t stay out here for long then.”

Mingyu jogged around the car to turn the ignition off before he locks the doors and brings his hand under Wonwoo’s arm again, helping the elder move into and up to his apartment.

The inside of Wonwoo’s apartment is a lot nicer than the exterior of the building. It’s just a small studio apartment, but it looks cozy, clean, and really neat. There’s a single bed at the end of the room near the balcony window, which housed just one single potted plant, a TV set, and a love seat in the middle of the room. The kitchen even has a built-in countertop and stools so it saves a lot of space.

There didn’t seem to be much decorations or trinkets around the place other than what seems to be a singular framed photograph sitting on the small dresser beside the bed, and the circular rug in the middle of the room. Right beside the kitchen is a door that Mingyu guesses must lead to the bathroom.

Overall it looked like something that had come out of a cover of some Living Minimalist lifestyle book or something. But Mingyu feels like it really represents the simplicity that is Jeon Wonwoo, in a way?

“Come on in! Welcome to my home! That I rent by myself,” Wonwoo says cheerily all of a sudden before he shakes his shoes off and takes a step away out of Mingyu’s hold. His unsteady step almost throwing himself to the ground before Mingyu catches him again.

“How about_ I_ make the tea?” Mingyu says with a chuckle.

He doesn’t wait for Wonwoo to even try and protest before he physically pushes the elder into his own kitchen and seats him on one of the stools. “Tell me where everything is, please.”

Wonwoo seemed to have given up on making the tea himself because he pouts and directs Mingyu to where the kettle, mug, and teabags are. He settles on letting the guest brew his own tea.

They share the comfortable silence of Mingyu standing around in the kitchen, waiting for the water to boil while stealing glances at Wonwoo who was resting his chin on the counter, eyes struggling to stay open.

When the hot tea is done, Mingyu pours half of it into Wonwoo’s mug and half in his, also warming it up with some cold water from the fridge because he believes Wonwoo won’t be able to wait for the tea to cool itself.

He pushes the mug into the elder’s hands and tells him to drink up, “You need to drink something or you’ll feel like hell tomorrow, hyung. Come on,” he says gently, almost in a motherlike tone.

The elder groans but sits up anyway.

Mingyu sips his own tea and watches how Wonwoo’s sleepy eyes were finding something to focus on. Looking around until his eyes finally land on the tea in his hands. He blinks at it for a couple of seconds like he’s just realized there’s water in his hands, before slowly bringing the mug up with both hands, to his mouth and chugging the drink down in one go.

“Hyung, slow down,” Mingyu laughs as he reaches forward to pull at the elder’s hands. But Wonwoo’s already finished the perfectly warm tea. Wonwoo finishes with a satisfied ‘Ah’ and licks his lips. He looks like a toddler that had just drunk yummy milk and Mingyu can’t help but melt further.

He glances to the side of Wonwoo’s lips where there were droplets from the splash of tea he chugged on. Mingyu hasn’t gone through years of k-drama acting to not know what to do here, so he smiles and shakes his head as he uses his thumb to wipe the side of the elder’s lips. “Are you actually five, Wonu-ya?”

Mingyu is definitely taking advantage of the situation where Wonwoo is in no state of pushing him away or even make coherent defensive arguments. So he’s really just enjoying his time, taking up all the rare images of this person that he could fit into his mind.

Wonwoo looks up to meet Mingyu’s eyes. He was staring at Mingyu as if he’s just discovered this man now standing in front of him. He blinks a couple of times with dazed eyes before his eyes brighten up suddenly – although still obviously hazy.

“Mr President?” he says in a surprised tone.

This time it was Mingyu’s turn to be confused, “What?”

“Mr President, you’re here!” Wonwoo suddenly reached over the counter to clutch at both of Mingyu’s forearm. Wonwoo’s empty mug in between them almost rolling over from Wonwoo hitting it with his chest because he’s almost halfway up the countertop by now.

Mingyu was now forcefully leaned forward too from the tug, clear look of shock in his expression.

Wonwoo would never be the person who would initiate contact. Who is this _Mr_ _President_ he’s talking about? Does he initiate contact with this guy?

“Oh-ho~ Mr President is _soooo_ hot, it’s annoying.” Wonwoo says under his breath as he stares up at Mingyu with his drunken hooded lids, “You shouldn’t look at Secretary Jang anymore.”

Mingyu gulps at the closeness and he swears he could almost feel the elder’s warm breath on his chin if he was ten centimeters closer, but he was also getting a sense of deja vu from the words Wonwoo was saying, so to say the entire thing was throwing him off guard is an understatement.

“Secretary Jang,” Wonwoo continues softly. Mingyu blinks and the man shakes his head as if saying, “No, no.

“You should just look at me,” he whispers before pulling the younger closer, this time breath actually tickling his lips.

Mingyu feels his face immediately heat up from the (too) close proximity and he could smell the alcohol in Wonwoo’s breath. Before he could react further, the man had leaned up and initiated a contact he – in this world, or the next, or in any world at all – would never, ever think could have happened.

Wonwoo gently placing his lips on Mingyu’s and begin coaxing him to part his lips.

Not a peck. Or a smooch.

It could’ve been an innocent peck and Mingyu thinks at least he could possibly recover from that if it was, but no, it _had_ to be a full-on _fucking French kiss._

Mingyu’s eyes widen and he feels his face getting hotter, his ears were probably the color of the blood in his veins – but how could he know, the only other person in the room that could tell him if it was, had his eyes closed and face shoved in his.

It was as if the world was on mute. The only sounds he could hear was the sound of his mouth being abused, Wonwoo’s breathing, and his heart hammering against his chest.

The actor was just frozen there as Wonwoo continues to work his tongue into Mingyu’s mouth, licking and reaching into him. Nibbling at his bottom lip and sucking on them as his arms snake up higher around Mingyu’s biceps, pulling him in closer so he could go deeper.

The word surprised doesn’t even cover the shock Mingyu was in. List out all synonyms of shock and it would all perfectly describe the emotion his poor soul was going through, maybe in alphabetical order too.

Wonwoo was kissing him.

_Wonwoo was kissing him?!_

What even… _the fuck?_

And the bad thing here is not that he _doesn’t_ like it, he’s starting to think of – or he really, really, _really_ actually wants to – kiss him back. Wonwoo is _that_ good.

But it’s that Wonwoo is drunk and probably won’t even remember this tomorrow and the worst part is…

_Wait._

“Wh- Who’s Mr Pre-President?” Mingyu gasped out as he pushes Wonwoo away harshly. Maybe too harsh because he hears a whine coming out of the elder’s mouth. _Jesus, save me._

He calms himself down and watches how the elder’s lips were wet again now – not from tea this time – with his eyes hooded and Mingyu could only gulp as he clamps his lips shut, looking scandalized. And gulp again.

“Do you kiss… Mr President, like-like that, h-hyung?”

Mingyu doesn’t notice his heart pick up its already lightning pace as he waits for an answer from the elder. Wonwoo’s eyes lose focus again as he drops back to sit on the stool properly before he plops his head on his arms this time.

He was silent for a couple of beats before he began, voice muffled by the sleeve of the coats Mingyu only now realized he still hasn’t taken off, “Seulgi kissed Mr President like that.”

The younger blinks. _Seulgi? _

“Seulgi? The actress, idol Seulgi?” Mingyu asks slowly and he sees Wonwoo nods immediately.

The elder lets out a breathy chuckle, “She kisses Mr President on episode 16,” he mumbles before letting out a yawn, his eyes really beginning to shut.

“Episo- Wh-Wha…” Mingyu is baffled. No wonder the lines felt familiar, “Don’t tell me… Are you talking about my- my drama?”

Wonwoo, still in a sleepy haze, “Mr President is such a good actor,” he utters happily before completely dozing off on the table.

Mingyu scoffs but he can’t help the blush tinting his cheeks now that he knows Wonwoo was talking about him the entire time. _Didn’t he say Mr President’s hot just now? _He doesn’t need a mirror to see how hot his face is feeling. He pushes aside the joy of Wonwoo knowing details about his drama and focuses on the issue at hand, “You’re crazy, hyung! You can’t just go- go kissing people lik-like that! Wha-wh…” he sighs as he realizes Wonwoo isn’t even listening.

He lifts his hand to his mouth, touching his lips and he feels them tremble a little. He whips his hand away from his own face because he was immediately reminded of the sensation from before.

_What the fuck was that?_

_No._

_Internal conflict later, deal with sleepy Jeon Wonwoo now._

He hears Wonwoo actually starting to snore a little so he scoffs. He could only sigh again before he picks up their mugs – rather angrily – and quickly rinses them. He walks around the two-seat kitchen counter and forcefully lifts the elder’s arm to drape around his shoulder as he tries to pick him up from the chair.

Wonwoo is really light so he has no problem half-carrying, half-dragging the elder to the bed on the other side of the room. He lets Wonwoo drop on the bed with a thud because Wonwoo deserves it – only a little. But Mingyu fails to make him take off the coats because he was already making himself comfortable, hugging his knees and curled up in a ball on the bed.

“Hyung! Let me take off your coat,” Mingyu whines but Wonwoo just replied with an even _whinier_ whine.

Before he could persist to force the elder out of the coats, he feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He doesn’t wait for a second to pick up the video call once he’s seen the person calling him.

“Mum? Why?” He asks immediately once he hits the answer button. He brings the phone up to his face and secretly hopes his mother doesn’t notice the lingering flush in his cheeks and asks why.

“Wow! Not even a hello or a Merry Christmas? What do you mean ‘why’, we always call on Christmas eve, my _bingu_-ya,” his mother whines on the other end.

“It’s not even Christmas Eve mum. It’s only Saturday, Christmas is on Wednesday.”

“Didn’t you say you were going to call me? I wanted to call you but you said you’ll call instead before midnight.”

_Oh yeah, he did._ Mingyu was thinking of calling her when he got home later but the thought had apparently been put on hold due to, well, unforeseen circumstances. He’d also apparently forgotten about the time, it was already past midnight.

He scratches his head at his forgetfulness and sighs a little before walking over to sit on the sofa instead. “Sorry. I was busy with something. I forgot to tell you I would call you a little later.”

“With work? I thought you didn’t have any schedules today?” his mother asks again before sipping something from her mug, maybe her favorite hot cocoa. He sees her also sitting in her favorite chair by the lamp and dressed in her favorite sweater. And he hears the sound of the TV going on in the background, his mother was probably up waiting for him to call.

“Yeah, I didn’t. I just went to celebrate with some friends. Were you waiting up for me? Sorry, mum.”

She shakes her head and grins widely before her eyes shifted into her usual teasing mode, “Where are you? That’s not your house, right? Whose place are you staying at such hours young man?

_“Getting it?”_ She teases with a playful raise of her brows while Mingyu groans and aggressively shakes his head.

“Noo. Stop it, mum. It’s just Wonwoo-hyung’s place. I sent him home. You need to sanitize that indecent mind of yours,” he pretends to be disappointed in his mother thinking he was at someone’s place and, well, getting it – although his mother isn’t quite wrong if considering the incident earlier _was _practically in a way, part 1 of, _getting it_.

“Wonu?!” His mother perks up at the mention of said man. Her grin grows impossibly wider and Mingyu pouts at her obvious excitement. She’s never that excited to talk to Mingyu, “Where is he? Can I talk to him?”

“No can do. He’s out like a light. Maybe next time, mum.”

She whines, sounding disappointed, but then almost immediately switches emotions again as she returns her focus to her son, “Why is your face red, bingu-ya?” Mingyu almost choked at the question but thankfully her mum continued before he could properly recall what happened and maybe turn even redder, “Did you drink a lot?”

He accepts it and nods, “Y-yeah, so I’m a little tired. Can I call properly tomorrow, mum? Sorry again. It’s the weekends, did Aunt Lee come and visit?”

“Yeah~” a woman’s voice comes up in the background from his mother’s side. “I’m still here~ Have you been well, Gyu-ya?” A woman, who Mingyu could recognize from a mile away due to her extravagant fashion sense appears from behind his mother’s chair.

“Of course! How are you, Aunt Lee? Did Jihoonie-hyung call yet?” Mingyu answers with a smile and a wave.

Aunt Lee snorts a laugh at the question, and Mingyu is reminded of the similar features she shares with her son Jihoon when she laughs, “You know that boy, he’ll probably call whenever he wants. Pinch that chubby cheek for me when you see him, okay?”

“He’s definitely not chubby anymore Jina, you keep on embarrassing him like that. That’s why he doesn’t want to call you!” Mingyu’s mum interrupts.

“You’re doing the same to Gyu, aren’t you? He’s probably actually out with his lover right now and you’re third-wheeling there!”

The two mothers and best friends go back and forth with their banter until it became defensive bickering and Mingyu could feel the vein in his head about to pop, so he gives up, “Mum! I’m hanging up! Mum!” He calls but they continue to bicker so he says fuck it and presses end call.

He’ll apologize tomorrow, he thinks as he sighs and stands up from the couch. He needs to leave – he’s still in Wonwoo’s house after all.

He walks to the side of the elder’s bed again. Wonwoo is sleeping soundly so he decides to just let him sleep in the coats, it should be warm enough. He glances over to the nightstand and looks at the photograph he saw before.

He hesitates to study the picture because he doesn’t have permission from Wonwoo to actually be in here in the first place. But the curiosity in him beat his conscience to it.

He picks up the picture and can’t help but feel warmth in his heart at the image. It’s an image of five people standing in front of a building. The sign on one of the tall glass windows on the side just says IX.

The person in the middle was definitely Wonwoo, those sharp eyes Mingyu could recognize anywhere. He looks younger, maybe in his early teens. The two boys on either side of him were wearing matching white outfits with Wonwoo and they had looked around the same age.

The two men standing at either far end of the group were people Mingyu knew. They looked well into their middle-ages and in lack of other words to say, experienced, more than what he recalls. But he recognizes them nevertheless as Dr Boo Seungkwan and Dr Xu Minghao; also the doctors that had tended to Mingyu back then.

What actually caught Mingyu’s heartstrings was the smile on their faces. Even on Wonwoo’s. It was so genuine and bright. His eyes were sparkling too. They were very much like the image of Wonwoo-hyung that he remembers from back then.

It almost like it’s a whole different person than the man sleeping on the bed right now.

Mingyu eyes the ball of person bundled up with his back facing him and sighs softly, “Have you been well, hyung?”

He doesn’t expect a chuckle coming out from the man.

Mingyu was startled, he was worried if Wonwoo had been awake this whole time and had heard the entire thing with his mother and him looking at the picture without permission, but it seems like the elder was just sleep-talking.

He was starting to mumble out words while chuckling a little here and there too.

Mingyu hears him make out words that sounded like ‘Mr President’ again so he asks, “What did you say?”

The elder grins a little before murmuring again, “I said, Mither Pesident lookd lik a gud kisser on the scween but he so bad in real ife,” he giggles.

“Wh-”

“Lik a ded fish!” Wonwoo snorts before snuggling further into the coats and dozing off again, leaving the younger staring at his back in disbelief.

Mingyu’s mouth drops, scandalized scoffs just waiting to pass his mouth. He gives up and shakes his head with a loud sigh before he begins to mumble a long string of complaints and annoyed comments that included words like ungrateful and petty and something along the lines of coming into conclusion without even a proper attempt, all while he tugs the blanket off the bed and throws it on the sleeping man, before walking out the door. The words don’t actually really mean anything, he knows Wonwoo won’t remember any of this in the morning.

So if Wonwoo woke up tomorrow to a text saying ‘ded fish is totally a gud kisser’, he’ll leave it for the elder to interpret the meaning himself.


End file.
